A couple weeks ago I met up with an old friend I hadn’t seen in a while (fingers crossed she doesn’t read my blog!)
She was having some sort of crises and needed to vent.
As we sipped our lattes and I stuffed my face with Snickerdoodle cookies, she droned on incessantly about her life, her problems, her work schedule, her children, her children’s schedules.
At some point I just kind of tuned out, as one does.
After an hour straight of her talking about herself and me pretending to listen, she finally asked “So, how are your…..cats?”
Then, as I began to answer, her gaze drifted around the coffee shop, utterly disinterested in what I had to say.
Can you believe it? I had cat stories and she was bored and distracted!!!
When we said our goodbyes, we hugged and promised to get together again soon. But I know I won’t hear from her for at least six months, when she needs a favour or has some kind of problem.
Do you have friends like this? I think we all have at least one.
But what I really want to know is…..are you this kind of friend to your Tarot deck?
When you sit down to do a Tarot reading, do you take the time to connect with your deck and see what kind of mood it’s in?
Or do you immediately start peppering it with questions about your life?
How you treat your cards will affect how they show up for you when you need their advice.
When I was first learning Tarot, I bought the Robin Wood Tarot deck and used it every day for two years straight. Then I got a new, shiny deck and tossed my beloved Robin Wood aside and ignored it completely as it languished in my desk drawer.
When I brought it back out a year later, my readings with it felt….cold and disconnected. It was like it was giving me the cold shoulder, remaining closed off and tight lipped. It’s feelings were hurt.
So the next time you reach for your Tarot deck, make sure you’re not making these 3 very common mistakes…
3 signs you’re a bad friend to your Tarot deck:
1) You only pick up your deck when you have a problem and need help
2) You only ever talk about yourself and never ask it questions about itself
3) You read when you’re distracted (while watching TV or scrolling your phone) and don’t really take the time to sit with your cards and hear what they’re trying to tell you
If you’ve made the mistakes above, don’t feel bad. I’ve made them all a million times! But know that when you stop doing those 3 things and start treating your deck very differently, you’re readings will transform into something unbelievably magical!
3 ways to nourish your relationship with your Tarot deck:
1) Don’t just reach for your cards when you have a problem. Make sure you also read about light topics – your Tarot deck loves to help inspire you creatively and spiritually!
Ask it fun questions like:
♥ How can I nurture my creative side this week?
♥ How can I be more playful this month?
♥ What part of my soul longs to express itself more?
2) Don’t just focus on yourself – interview your deck and ask it some personal questions, like:
♥ How are you feeling today?
♥ What card best sums up your personality?
♥ What qualities do you look for in a Tarot reader?
3) Treat your Tarot reading time as sacred time – turn off distractions, set the mood and take your time.
It’s fine to do quickie readings at the kitchen table while the radio blares, but try to create a sacred container and eliminate distractions as much as you can.
Sometimes I’ll pull a few cards for myself as I’m watching one of my murder shows in the background and let me tell you – those readings are never very helpful. But when I put on some Enya, light a couple candles and pour a cup of tea, those readings are positively delicious!
If the cards don’t make sense right away, don’t give up. Sit for a moment and let yourself explore.
When you take your time with a reading, you can go deep and the messages you receive will be so much more powerful.
When you treat your deck right, it will open up to you. When you take the time to nurture your relationship, your readings will feel deep, connected and amazingly helpful.
May all your Tarot readings be full of discovery, inspiration and joy ♥
xoxo
Kate
I have a ‘friend’ like yours but I don’t consider her a friend anymore.
She only had time for me when her hubby was not at home. In that case I was a welcomed friend because
she doesn’t like to be alone, especially at night.
I spent one night in her home once but couldn’t sleep because she was very energetic and had decided to clean it until midnight. She made noise and her dog too.
When I told her the next day, he didn’t care. She only hoped I would keep her company until the afternoon.
I politely refused and decided never ever to give up so much of my time for her again.
I’m concentrating more on myself and our contact is very rare now.
One day she ranted that all people are stressed out
and have no time for her and she thinks they can’t manage their lives.
She used to call a common friend (a people pleaser just as I was in the past)
every day in the early morning to talk about her problems.
She kept that lady for 1 hour on the phone. I told her that it was too much and she refused to accept
my suggestion to give the other person some space.
Needless to say, the other person is trying to avoid her as well as me now.
My daughter told me that I was being fake if I accepted to see her, even if it’s 3-4 times a year, and that I should break up with her.
I think she is right, but I don’t know how to to do it, except for reducing the meetings to an absolute minimum (celebration of birthdays).
I have two decks that I need to study so I’m giving them the cold shoulder but I hope they won’t be offended. 😉
Wishing you all the best,
Sabina
Sabina, I can relate! Thanks for sharing your friend story here 🙂 She sounds….intense!