Veronica is my evil alter ego/badass Tarot reading twin. She’s sassy, self-centered and ruthless….and somehow always gets away with it! When she’s not turning down charities and using the pages of self help books as toilet paper, she’s reading Tarot on this blog…
“You just need to think positively”
“Look on the bright side”
“Kick negative thinking to the curb!”
Have you ever heard the above phrases? Of course you have! You live in a time where “positive thinking” is shoved down your throat 24/7.
Well, my dear, today I will not say those awful things to you.
Today, I want to let you know that it is totally okay with me if you think…..NEGATIVELY!
Everything is going to shit for the woman in this Five of Cups card. Most of her drinks are spilled, her dress is wet, her hair is totally fucked. What on Earth does she have to be happy about? The two full glasses? Big deal.
If things aren’t working out for you today, you can always look on the bright side and stop yourself from spiraling down into the abyss of negativity. But why would you?
When a perfectly good opportunity for self-pity and whining presents itself, take advantage!
Everyone’s so tired and bored of chipper, positive people anyway. Your cranky bitching will feel like a fresh Spring breeze on a balmy Summer’s day.
In the comments below, tell me……what will you bitch & complain about this weekend?
We all need more friends like Veronica in our lives. Ones that will bring the Vodka to our house on a Friday night and help us dish on the boyfriends, ex’s and plain misery we sometimes need to process. Someone who will help us revel in it just for a night. Who will put on shades the next morning hand us an extra pair and drive down to the local diner for greasy hangover food. Reminding us that things are never quite as good/bad as we think they are. Reminding us that we got this shit handled. Thanks Veronica I needed this. I should have read it last night.
Glad you liked this, Teresa 🙂 Your right, Veronica IS that kind of friend.
Negative… as my email denotes… I’m great at that. So I get the 4 of cups when I ask how she (stupid freaking girl I… happen to favor) feels about me. Hm by the example deck you gave… I would imagine we’d have 3 cups of gin, and one cup of prune juice coming from a divine hand… which you know is being ignored. So am I the prune juice or the gin? What a shit-load-of-fuck. I’m plotting her demise now… chances are I’ll just wind up crying over her later lol. Ever try asking the tarot anything whilst in a bad mood? Doesn’t go well, does it? “Prune juice, am I?!?! Okay… where’s my AR-15?” LOL… no. I’m too temperamental to be great with tarot. That’s where really significant numbers start popping up on license plates and shit. Spirit could part the red sea (literally), and I’d be like “yeah, okay. It was wind… wind planted the actual statue of liberty on my lawn.” :::Goes to supermarket like nothing happened::: I’m really stubborn.
No use crying over spilled booze is there Veronica, or is there?
What WAS in those drinks?
So you can weep over it or come out of your hangover and realise that you still have two left to spill as well – might as well though as be doubly miserable eh! Nothing like a misersable drunk. Who was that 1940’s actress that played a really good drunk?
The sun is out so bright it hurts my eyes – oh, yeah, I’m alive to see it.
How about it is 4 degrees and all is frozen today. – oh, yeah, I can feel the slick shinny ice and revel in its beauty
I have to go to work on a Friday night – oh, yeah, I love my job and meeting people.
Sorry Veronica, I’ve got nothing to bitch about today. AND that is bitchin!
Well Kris, you will have to work on that! 😉
LOL
This is hilarious! Thanks. I feel better already. (Sorry to be so goddamn positive, but you caught me on a good day.)
Glad you enjoyed this, Rose 🙂
I just love your blog! I anxiously await each posting. Love your style and easy to understand approach! Also, thank you for sharing cards from different decks, I really enjoyed this picture of the Five of Cups and connected to the image as I have been going through a negative streak. I work with people all day, which I love, but I do get tired of solving other peoples problems, I want to bitch too! Thanks for the message!
Dawn – thank you! I am really touched that you like my blog so much 🙂
And I’m really pleased this reading resonated with you.
Cheers,
Kate
Using self-help books as toilet paper- Damn, Girl! That would chaffe bad! You’re too good for that. We deserve premium 4-ply brought to us on a silver platter by someone dark and handsome, not some grade D sentimental crap. Trust me- there’s plenty to bitch about. 😉
And might I suggest using the self-help pages in your fireplace or for a litter box? Works just fine for cats.
Good point Chani – come to think of it, book pages might be a bit scratchy. But saying “Veronica uses the pages of self help books as fire fuel” doesn’t have the same effect, if you know what I mean 😉
Veronica- I love you. You are so funny (and familiar…). But… so far, I don’t have anything to bitch about, except maybe the people out there that don’t think they have a dark side…….. oh, and yes, the perfectly healthy people that park in handicap parking places just because they have access to someone else’s handicap mirror hanger!!! Have a bitchin’ day, Veronica. (- You too, Kate!)
LOL! Whaaaaaat? Parking in handicap zones is something Veronica does all the time!