The Art of the Midnight Snack

Guess what? After a 2 year hiatus, My evil twin Veronica is baaaaack! And she has everything I don’t….copious cleavage, hordes of cute guys trailing after her and a hankering for day drinking. She’s here to ejaculate some sass and giggle into your day with her Tarot “wisdom” and terrible life advice.

Housewives Tarot

Late last night as I was arranging a tray of Sicilian olives, goat cheese, chutney and crackers, I thought to myself: I may not be the most successful person I know, but I sure have mastered the art of the Midnight Snack!

There’s nothing better than a furtive and sneaky unplanned snack while the dullards sleep.

People who hate life say things like “you shouldn’t eat after 9pm.” Fuck those people.

A Midnight Snack is a sacred and subversive act of indulgence – taken at the witching hour!

The Hermit says “celebrate yourself and revel in your alone time!” You can do this by soaking in a hot bath, slamming wine by candlelight – but that’s so cliche. Instead, try stuffing your face with culinary delights as the clock strikes twelve.

Sadly, so many of us have lost this fine art of crafting a truly satisfying and soul nourishing late night snickety snack. So here are some guidelines…

Veronica’s Guide to the Perfect Midnight Snack

1) Strike a balance between junky and wholesome, with a dash of fancy. Avoid crap like cheesies and pop. Instead, try potato chips dipped in 11% plain yogurt, paired with kombucha in a champagne glass.

2) Cheese

3) The best midnight snacks consist of different variations of carbs and fats. Think crackers and cheese, chips and full fat yogurt, focaccia and olive oil, croissant and cream cheese, you get the picture!

4) Avoid sugar, it will only keep you up. Think savoury.

5) Ignore #4 – make ice cream sandwiches with homemade cookies!

6) Pie

7) Leftovers are always good. I had a cold, Asian noodle and broccoli salad the other night while I stayed up late reading ghost stories. Yum!

*Tip: Arrange your sacred snack on a fancy plate. Maybe add some toothpicks for your cheese cubes. Garnish your plate with a sprig of fresh parsely or rosemary. Treat this snack as a mini celebration….of YOU!

In the comments below, tell me… what are YOUR favorite midnight snack combos?

This entry was posted in July 2020, Veronica Noir. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to The Art of the Midnight Snack

  1. Ronda says:

    YAAASSSS! Good to see you Veronica! 🧀🍪🥂

  2. Melissa says:

    I like a classic snack, tortilla chips and fresh salsa (with just a bit of heat).

  3. James says:

    Good morning and Welcome back V
    Bet your still asleep from you late night indulgence!
    I was worried on tip number 4 when you said skip the sugar, but you regained momentum in step 5 whew! Just so you know cleavage is out of fashion so skip the push ups, the trend no is gasp! braless. 🥳I Am sure you will embrace the change.😉 I know you missed all the excitement of making masks with bras but time to step up and unhook those clasps! Just think of all the uses for those old cups! I will let your imagination wonder.
    My favourite midnight snack is fried egg sandwich on white bread with marshmallows roasting on my new fire pit with a fancy martini.

    • Whoah! Fried egg and marshmallows….together? That’s wild. I recently tried pairing potato chips with toasted marshmallows and it was pretty good. Don’t worry, Veronica never wears a bra…but somehow still has major cleavage?! She’s a freak of nature.

  4. Felipe Zahtariam says:

    I love eating doritos or pringles at mignight.

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