Is the “REAL Thing” Really Better?

Meet my evil, Tarot reading twin Veronica! Feeling lost? In need of some good advice? Well, you’ve come to the wrong place. Veronica loves nothing more than telling other people how to live (and ruin) their lives in spectacular fashion. So take her advice. If you dare…

Cosmic Tarot

When I was four years old, I used to cut out images of jewelry from jewelry ads in old Vogue magazines and then scotch tape them to my body before venturing out with my mother.

I remember smugly thinking why would anyone be stupid enough to waste money buying real jewelry when they can just cut out pictures of jewelry and stick it on?

To my four year old brain, pictures of jewels were just as satisfying as real, physical jewels.

And this is where The Magician comes in! He’s all about illusion, trickery and seduction. And today he says “if you can’t have the REAL thing, maybe there’s a substitute that is actually way more fun.”

For example, have you ever attended an orgy on Zoom? It’s not as terrifying as an in-person orgy, you can’t catch anything, there’s no BO and it’s easier to leave! Win, win, win, win.

So sidle up to your old mags with a pair of snippers, cut out the best diamonds you can find and adorn yourself from head to toe. Now you’re ready for the orgy.

Who said you can’t have fun during a pandemic?

5 thoughts on “Is the “REAL Thing” Really Better?”

  1. You made me laugh so hard, that I had to read this to my husband. He’s not much into tarot, but he’s very excepting of anything that makes me happy. And, this made him laugh out loud as well.

  2. Oh, Veronica, you are just so funny! The only way I would attend a ‘virtual’ orgy is to make a cut-out of the body of a 21 year old and wear it. Otherwise I might be the only participant in the event. Thanks for the invite tho, it is nice to be thought of.

    Dixie Cupp

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