Veronica solves all your problems…

fridays with veronicaVeronica is my evil twin/alter ego and instead of her usual Friday Tarot reading, she is taking a break over the holidays to help you solve some of your biggest problems….agony aunt style! She has taken the best questions from the Daily Tarot Girl Facebook page and will now attempt to dish out some sassy advice. And you just know that she wrote this column while taking generous sips (or gulps) of spiced wine while her latest boy toy paraded around in an indecent Santa costume. Enjoy!

Question: Dear Veronica, I’m having the nastiest bout of un-productiveness. I just want to sit around sipping mimosas and binge watching Netflix when I need to be writing articles for my blog, doing housework, Christmas shopping and working on personal creative projects. Whatever shall I do to motivate myself? Thank you for your boundless wisdom.
Sarah D

Veronica: Sarah, you silly banana, what on Earth is wrong with that?! That sounds like a regular evening at my house. You say you need to be doing all these horribly boring things – but do you really? Clearly you don’t actually want to. The lazy, TV loving, booze swilling part of yourself is running the show – your own inner Veronica! So the trick is to make these awful tasks you deem so important, seductive enough to lure your inner Veronica to accomplish them!

Here are some ideas….

1. Do your housework naked with the blinds open. Not only will this make a dull task feel more footloose and fancy-free, but it will offend your neighbors! Bonus!

2. Do your Christmas shopping online. Naked. With the blinds open. Just kidding! Go Christmas shopping somewhere fun – like downtown – and avoid depressing big chain stores with horrid lighting and shitty Christmas music blaring. Take a lavish lunch break at a fancy restaurant and indulge in appys, main dish, drinks and dessert! And maybe do it all without wearing panties? Now there’s an idea…


skip these

3. Write blog posts that are a little bit daring. The reason you can’t motivate yourself to write is because your subject matter isn’t enticing you. After a while a blog can start to feel a lot like monogamy. Give yourself permission to write about something a bit different. What would the Netflix loving/Mimosa chugging part of yourself want to write about? Start there!

Good luck snapping out of your TV/booze haze, Sarah. Although really, I don’t know why you’d want to 😉


Question: Hi Veronica,what advice do you have for me for coping with stress?
Indie Tarot

Veronica: The only reason you’re stressed is because you’re thinking too much about your problems and thinking you have to actually solve them. You don’t. Problems cease to exist when you stop thinking about them. It’s like the old saying “if a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, did it make a sound?”

If you have lots of problems and responsibilities but you never think about them, are they problems?

Do whatever you can to distract yourself from the crushing pressure of whatever is stressing you out. Watch lots of reality TV, post to Facebook multiple times a day declaring how great your life is and maybe start drinking more. That seems to work for most people.

But if that seems horribly shallow to you, you can try this technique which is my favorite stress buster: the next time you feel stressed, close your eyes, take a deep breath and imagine the planet 100 years in the future, totally destroyed by nukes, or aliens or whatever and repeat to yourself “in 100 years none of this will even matter”.


Ahhh…sweet relief!

Hang in there Indie, the stress will pass 🙂


If you would like Veronica to solve one of your problems, in her special, bitchy way, please just reply to this post with your question!


This entry was posted in December 2014, Veronica Noir. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Veronica solves all your problems…

  1. Nice advice, Madame V!

    So, I’m wondering your lovely insight on this: I have no problem saying “no”, but when I use this exalted, magical word, people have been ignoring me and doing what they want anyway, or they try to pressure me into doing what they want me to do. “No” has become the light, summer breeze gently wafting through their ears! How do I get people to respect my “H-E-L-L-N-O-!” and get them off my back?

    Can’t wait to read more of these!

  2. Sarah Dawn says:

    Thank you so much Veronica,
    I think I will get all dolled up for the last of my Christmas shopping, pin-up red lipstick, heels, fancy hat, the works. That should tempt my inner Veronica to come out and strut her stuff. 🙂
    Blessed Holiday to you and Kate,
    Sarah Dawn

  3. Russell says:

    Hey Veronica,
    What advice would you give someone who has to deal with a toxic family member? Especially if you live with them. This person is quite bossy and complains about everything. I feel a lot of anger and it doesn’t even feel like it belongs to me. I’m looking forward to your insight.

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