A Faptastic Suggestion from Veronica

veronica 2

My evil twin Veronica was feeling lazy today, so she’s recycling an old reading she did over a year ago….but oh my God, it’s one of my favorites! I hope you like it too….

10 of rods
Hezicos Tarot

Ah yes! The Ten of Rods (aka Ten of Wands) – a warning for you to plug your ears to the siren call of wanting more.

Here’s a depressing equation:

feeling empty + wanting more = taking on lots of  responsibilities, roles, hobbies and friends to make your life more meaningful and important + realizing your still empty, but now your also exhausted = resentment x 100

I was always crappy at math, so the above equation may not make sense to you, but that’s not the point.

The point is, all your roles and duties will only weigh you down on the adventure of life!

Do you know someone who is always informing you of all the different roles they play? For example, a friend who says shit like “I’m a wife, mother, sister, chef, girl guide leader, janitor, blah, blah, blah” and you all you can think is holy fuck, when do you have time to fap?

While the Urban Dictionary defines the term fap as “the onomatopoeic representation of masturbation”, I would like to extend that definition to include all activities that are pleasurable but ultimately serve no purpose – like watching Entertainment Tonight, googling hot celebrities, organizing your nail polish collection – stuff like that.

Make time to fap. A life without adequate fap time will only foster resentment.

Halloween Special!

4 thoughts on “A Faptastic Suggestion from Veronica”

  1. This is simply terrific! Absolutely dead on! I’m always guilty of taking on too much, thinking it will fulfill me but I’m always left exhausted and resentful. Thanks for this. It’s a much needed message!

  2. Bang On Kate!

    I love the ‘ fap’ian’ humor and completely get your equation… It’s all like a linear one, with all the ,if’s and but’s of life, as ‘x’ and ‘y” in the linear expression:)

    The 10 of wands it is …. The whole week has been nothing but a long wait to just watch movie and sleep for 10 hours!!

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