Veronica Noir is my batshit crazy twin sister. She is just like me except she’s brilliant, has no sense of guilt or shame, speaks her mind and does whatever she wants, when she wants! Kind of like a psychopath….but with a heart of gold. Oh, and she also reads Tarot…
T’is the season…
To be inundated with boring work parties, excruciating family get togethers, shit Christmas music warbling in the background as you shuffle through the mall and the worst thing of all….buying presents for other people. Blech!
“Well at least there’s lots of alcohol around,” purrs the Queen of Cups. “So drink up, slut!”
When you see this Queen’s far off, glazy stare you just know she’s thinking “I’m gonna need to knock back two more goblets of Dubonet to survive listening to Larry from finance drone on about World of Warcraft for the next hour.”
So my advice for this weekend is this: use whatever aids you have available to you – ahem! hard liquor – to help get you through this difficult time. And if you end up behaving inappropriately as a result, well…blame it on whoever’s closest. Especially if they’re dressed like a whore.
Ah, thank-you! Been waiting for someone to say it. I feel the same way. Like all those Hallmark “Christmas is so magical” bitches with their sh*t drama and stress just need to quit the crack, switch back to mary-jane and chill. (Hey, it’s legal where I live, lol.) What I’m singing this year: “Deck the halls with bowels of BS, falalalalala f*ck Christmas! xD Have a good one- with the Dubonet that is, ;).
Chani
Chani, great minds think alike! I don’t know where you live, but I’m moving there – it sounds fabulous 😉
Finally….someone who feels the same about the holidays as I do! Pass me that cup! Jan
LOL! I’m with you Jan 🙂