April 2014

Nine of Wands: Start Aiming Lower…

fridays with veronicaVeronica Noir is a Tarot reader extraordinaire, serial man-eater and my evil twin sister. She likes telling people what to do, loudly saying the F-word at the grocery store and deeply inhaling sage smoke – its cleansing, right? Here is her weekly dose of Tarot guidance, just in time for the weekend…

9 of wands
Housewive’s Tarot

Success is sweet because once you are high up, you get to look down on everyone.

But then you start to fantasize that everyone’s out to get you, trying to knock you down and stomp on your face.

Success is stressful!

But nothing says zen-bliss like mediocrity. Sometimes its nice to just aim for blandness, middle of the road, average and unimpressive.

Sliding in under the radar is the most underrated, hedonistic pleasure.

“Reach for the stars!” annoying people say.

I like to reach for the glow in the dark stars on my bedroom ceiling that were haphazardly stuck on by the previous resident of my apartment. I know I can reach those!

So my advice for this weekend is this: keep your expectations low and no one gets disappointed!

Get a little “me-time” this weekend…

fridays with veronicaVeronica is my evil twin, alter ego, and a real maverick of sorts. She spends her days swanning about her apartment, writing smut, eating cheesecake and god knows what else. On Friday’s she does a horrifically unhelpful reading for you to enjoy…..

the hermit
The Housewive’s Tarot

Today’s message comes from The Hermit.

Spend this weekend soaking in the tub, ordering take out, eating chocolate and reading filthy romance novels.

Oh wait, I just remembered its Easter Weekend. F##K!

I guess your supposed to spend time with family, cook a boring dinner and humor everyone.

Well, no matter what you do this weekend, be sure to squeeze in a little me-time – if anything, it will keep you sane!

What you should do this weekend…

fridays with veronicaVeronica is my terrible alter ego to whom I give free reign for a few minutes on a Friday, so she can write this reading for you. Her advice is always bad, so be sure not to take it ;)…

the fool
The Fairytale Tarot by Karen Mahony

The Fool is here to say It’s okay to be an idiot if it means you get to have an adventure!

Being smart is overrated and always leads to boring evenings spent watching TV with safe, dull people.

Have you been wearing mostly beige, black and brown lately? Time to color it up! buy a crazy scarf in a bright color or wear some sky blue tights (even if your a guy).

Do something different this weekend – go on a mini adventure. Pack some smelly cheeses in a sac along with grapes, crackers and wine. Take it to the park along with a blank notebook and pen.

Then, plunk yourself down on a grassy knoll and pen some erotic fiction as you proceed to get drunk in public and gorge yourself on cheese.

Gosh, just writing this I am getting so excited for the weekend! I can’t f#$*ing wait!

If you are trying to make an important decision, don’t ask yourself if its the right decision, ask if it will lead to thrills and adventure.

Now is not the time to play it safe. Be reckless, be wild and enjoy it!

Terrible Advice for Your Weekend…

fridays with veronicaVeronica Noir is my horrible alter ego. She reads Tarot Cards, writes dirty books and can make a mean cappuccino cheesecake! She loves giving shocking, offensive advice via this weekly blog…

five of cups
Housewives Tarot

Sometimes shit just doesn’t go your way.

But you always have the choice of rolling with it or digging in your heels and getting really, really pissed.

Personally, I like the second option best. Why does everything have to be positive, anyway?

Everyone’s always quick to say stupid shit like:

“look on the bright side!”

“every cloud has a silver lining!”

Fuck that. I like to revel in my misery.

So this weekend, if you feel grumpy, embrace it! Don’t try to run, don’t try to put a positive spin on it. Really immerse yourself in it. Play it for all its worth!

If you don’t allow yourself the decadent luxury of unchaperoned suffering from time to time, how will you ever know true happiness?


Exploring Your Intuition: An Interview with Dr. Cara Gubbins


Join me as I chat with Cara Gubbins about intuition and intuitive development!

Dr. Cara Gubbins is a Spiritual Intuitive, Animal Intuitive, and Pet Medium. Her research has been featured on CNN, the BBC, the Discovery Channel, and National Geographic Specials.

In this interview we discuss:

What intuition is and how it works

How to connect with your intuition (even when your feeling stressed out or upset!)

Is it your intuition or just your ego/thoughts/fears? How to tell the difference.

Blocks to intuition

How to access intuition via dreams

Check out Cara’s Intuition course:


Free download! 11 ways to access your inner guidance:


Share your thoughts in the comments below!