veronica - Page 15 of 24 - Daily Tarot Girl

Empty your cup if you want it filled!

Veronica is my nefarious twin and alter ego and she’s hear to read the Tarot and tell you how to live your life. She’s a fan of day drinking, night prowling (for young men) and just being all out evil – let’s see what diabolical advice she has for you today…

ace of cups reversed — Hanson-Roberts Tarot

Have you been looking around at your life and thinking wow, there’s a lot of shit here I don’t want!?

It’s time to clean house!

If you want to bring in a bunch of good stuff, you first need to get rid of the cluttery crap that bogs your life down.

What do I mean by “cluttery crap”?

Hmmm…..well there’s physical clutter like little piles of change and gas receipts, dusty Harlequins, condom wrappers, craft supplies you never use and old shampoo bottles that are only 2/3 used up.

And then there’s time clutter – things that clog up your precious free time. Checking email, scraping little bits of mold off your bathroom ceiling, helping your elderly neighbor with her groceries – you know, terrible stuff like that.

The Ace of Cups reversed is all about emptying your cup – dumping out everything that just doesn’t make you tingle anymore so you can make room for the incoming thrills!

Empty your cup if you want it filled! Read More »

Are you ignoring your dreams again? Tsk Tsk!

Veronica is my rude, bitchy, diabolical twin. She reads Tarot, swears like a sailor and like all dysfunctional people, she loves to give advice….

Finally, after the seemingly endless blaze of the Sun, we get the cool relief of darkness, illuminated by a scanty sliver of silver moonlight…..

The Moon encourages introspection. It is time for you to go within. The sun is loved by morons everywhere because its big, bright and fucking yellow.

The sun allows you to get distracted by everything, and live a life outside of yourself. The Moon doesn’t stand for that shit…

It’s harder to get distracted when your immersed in darkness. But the milky glow of the lunar sphere gives you just enough light to lead you back home to yourself.

Crazy-ass dreams are in the realm of The Moon – so pay attention to them! Don’t be one of those dicks who says “it’s just a dream.” Um, no it’s not. It’s a fucking magical vision, so have some respect!

Write it down, contemplate, explore, ask yourself some deep questions. Don’t just roll out of bed and pitter patter off to the beach to scope out cute boys and drink peach cider out of a thermos. Well, do that, but write down your dream first.

Are you ignoring your dreams again? Tsk Tsk! Read More »

Delight in destruction!

8 Comments / July 2015, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / July 3, 2015

Veronica is my evil twin and Tarot reading queen! Each Friday she gets to share her cheeky wisdom on my blog. Let’s see what depraved insights she has about The Tower…

Remember when you were a kid and you’d spend all day making a sandcastle, just so you could watch the tide come in and destroy it?

Life is kind of like that, but now that you’re all grown up, you get attached to your creations and throw a shit fit when things start to crumble and collapse….but you could be squealling with evil glee, if you wanted to!

Job losses, marriage breakdowns, the appearance of wrinkles and greying hair – all these things can be met with wild delight, if you’re in the right frame of mind.

So….are you getting upset about something merely because you think that’s the response you’re supposed to have?

Maybe those horrible events don’t have to cause you suffering after all?

Another way to see this card is to see it as an exploding, fiery phallus, with little people being spewed out the top. Either way, I think The Tower is a real gem of a card 😉

Delight in destruction! Read More »

How is your life constipated?

8 Comments / June 2015 / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / June 26, 2015

Veronica is my evil, Tarot reading twin. When she’s not writing for this blog, she’s out boozing and cruising for sweet young things and tapping out smut on her laptop! Oh, and she doesn’t give two shits about spelling things correctly, so don’t go emailing her about how she shouldn’t start a sentence with “and” or “but”….

The Knight of Pentacles is an incredibly practical man. He thinks things through.

But he’s also a boring, constipated, stuffed shirt who has no idea how to enjoy himself or move forward with his life.

The message he brings you is this….

“How are you being overly cautious in your life?”

There is nothing wrong with taking your time to think things through.

But overly planning things and being extra careful only work if we’re talking about birth control. Otherwise, it just sucks the magic out of daily life!

And here’s the thing – you were born naturally spontaneous and trusting in life. But then jerkoffs like your parents and evil robot school teachers instilled doubt in you by saying stuff like “without math 12 you will go nowhere!” and “you need to start saving for retirement now if you want to retire by age 80.”

Suddenly the world is a terrifying and cruel place, designed to break you and cause you misery.

Now I got off on a tangent…but what I want to tell you is that that is crap – pure and simple. The world is full of wonderful things – just think how many shrimp cocktails, cute boys and kitten videos exist right now.

I know, right?!

How is your life constipated? Read More »

This weekend needs to be lazy…

2 Comments / June 2015, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / June 19, 2015

Veronica is a voracious man eater, tarot reader, cat lover and my evil twin/alter ego. She talks like a sailor, slinks about like Catwoman and always has some deliciously subversive advice for you! So without further ado…I bring you Veronica Noir!

The Four of Rods is here to tell you to spend some time enjoying your hearth and home this weekend.

Delight yourself by doing boring crap like baking stuff in the oven. You know, like cinnamon buns and shit like that.

Wear an apron.

Clean things.

Make a fu*king pie!

But here’s the catch – don’t plan anything this weekend. Especially if you did a whole bunch of “stuff” last weekend. Have a couple of “home days” to yourself.

Genius and spiritual unfoldment do not arise from busy-ness and rushing about doing pointless things. Trust me!

But take the time to have a glass of wine and make some sort of horrid baked good – and you just might find yourself discovering the meaning of life in the process.

Or you might just find yourself mildly drunk. Either way, it’s a nice time

This weekend needs to be lazy… Read More »

Everyone wants to “transform” themselves. Ugggh!

3 Comments / June 2015, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / June 5, 2015

Veronica is my evil tarot reading twin. Each friday she graces us with her presence and offers up her best advice….

hezicos-tarot-death — Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffin

Everyone wants “transformation”!

If you’ve ever been to a life coach’s website or even a new agey site, you will see the word “transformation” splattered all over it, like seagull crap on a pier.

But what IS “transformation”? Simple answer: DEATH!

Oh, so you want to “transform” your life? No, you want your old self to die off.

Do you want to “transform” your thinking? No, you want to murder your negative thoughts.

So why does everyone go around saying “blah blah blah, transformational, blah blah, bullshit, bullshit, blab”?

Because Death is the low effort option, whereas Transformation sounds like a lot of exhausting, hard work, which most average dumbfucks looooove. Or at least love to talk about.

So this weekend, ask yourself: “what old habits would l like to lay to rest?”

OR “what part of my life would l like to have a mini funeral for?”

OR “what aspects of myself would l like to violently shank to death and then forcibly reincarnate as something entirely different?” oh, wait, that sounds more like “transformation”. Nevermind!

Everyone wants to “transform” themselves. Ugggh! Read More »

Stop being polite and start giving unsolicited advice!

6 Comments / May 2015, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / May 29, 2015

Veronica is my evil twin/alter ego and she takes over my blog on Friday’s to impart her bitchy wisdom. When she isn’t Tarot reading, she’s seducing some buff young thing at the gym, penning sultry smut on her laptop and knocking back the martinis while laughing maniacally at some mediocre romantic comedy…

Today’s Tarot card is the Queen of Coins (aka Queen of Pentacles) and she’s just trudged onto the scene to tell you “don’t be afraid to put your nose in other people’s business!”

We often think of the Queen of Coins as having nurturing qualities and being down to earth and good with money. But she’s got a dark side….

This Queen is also a nosy busy-body who likes to muscle in and let you know her opinion on every matter.

From the state of your barren uterus (when are you going to have children?!) to your choice in self help books (you should be reading Wayne Dyer not Osho!), she just can’t keep her crappy opinions to herself.

If you know someone like this, you probably can’t stand her. But admit it….you kind of want to act like her some days. I know you’re just dying to ask people inappropriate questions and then offer up your unsolicited advice. Well, my friend, today is the day to do just that!

Don’t censor yourself today.

Don’t tell yourself it’s none of my business.

Today, everything is your business and everyone needs to hear your advice.

Have fun 😉

xoxo
Veronica

Stop being polite and start giving unsolicited advice! Read More »

I should be participating? No thanks.

3 Comments / May 2015, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / May 22, 2015

Veronica is my evil twin sister who spends her days flirting with 20-year-old boys, suntanning topless on public beaches and saying NO to charities….she needs that money for martinis! Let’s see what evil advice she has for us today…

Today’s Tarot card is Participation (aka Four of Wands).

When I was in elementary school, my teachers were always blathering on and on about “participation.” As in “Veronica, why aren’t you participating?”

Well, for starters I don’t participate in things that are stupid (like dodgeball) and I certainly don’t participate in things just because generic rule followers request it of me.

So take a look at your life today and notice what kinds of things you’re participating in. Do you enjoy it? Does it bring you satisfaction? Or are you doing it to appease someone?

For example, do you participate in donating to the charity of the week when you’re going through the checkout at Costco? Is it because you want to? Or is it because you’re worried that if you don’t, all those hot dog munchers behind you will think you’re a heartless bitch?

Participation is wonderful when it brings people together and diabolical when it forces you to just go through the motions for fear of being ostracized !

I should be participating? No thanks. Read More »

Here’s a true story….

7 Comments / May 2015, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / May 15, 2015

Veronica Noir is an anarchist, International woman of mystery, banana bread lover, frantic scrawler of smut and just happens to be my evil twin/alter ego. She is also away on vacation at the moment, so I’m re-posting a reading she did a year ago….but in it she tells a great story (which is half true!) and I think you’ll find it timely and delightful!

Have you been judging yourself lately?

Do you think you should be thinner, more motivated, more successful and more interesting than you actually are?

Maybe that’s not true. Maybe you should be exactly as you are.

Let me tell you a story.

I once had a job interview for a job I felt I was underqualified for (International Spy).

I had no experience whatsoever and to top if off I was late for the interview – my black Lamborghini broke down on the way there – and by the time I arrived I was panting and sweaty.

Turns out, the interviewer was kind of a perv and my heaving bosom and flushed skin turned him on. And the fact I had no qualifications only inflated his ego and made him feel superior to me. I got the job!

So let me say it again: you are perfect just the way you are. This weekend, release any self-judgements and just enjoy life!

Here’s a true story…. Read More »

Why glue guns = enlightenment

11 Comments / May 2015, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / May 8, 2015

Veronica is my evil alter ego whom I let take over my blog on Fridays. Between martinis and cigarettes she dishes out advice – some terrible, some brilliant. Let’s see what she has to say about the Eight of Pentacles….

Today is the day you will become fully present and attain spiritual enlightenment.

Maybe only for 15 seconds….but it still counts!

The Eight of Pentacles is all about doing some activity that helps you get to that empty brain place where you just aren’t thinking about anything at all.

Annoying “spiritual” people try to do this through sitting on a special meditation cushion and holding their fingers in a particular way….pffft!

The same results can be had by doing arts and crafts. So paint a picture of some boring flowers or do a sketch of an exciting, sexy person! Or glue gun the shit out of something.

Once you stop fretting about the artistic merit of your creations, you will find that your mind stops its incessant chattering. Thank fuck!

Why glue guns = enlightenment Read More »