Veronica is my nefarious twin and alter ego and she’s hear to read the Tarot and tell you how to live your life. She’s a fan of day drinking, night prowling (for young men) and just being all out evil – let’s see what diabolical advice she has for you today…
Hanson-Roberts Tarot
Have you been looking around at your life and thinking wow, there’s a lot of shit here I don’t want!?
It’s time to clean house!
If you want to bring in a bunch of good stuff, you first need to get rid of the cluttery crap that bogs your life down.
What do I mean by “cluttery crap”?
Hmmm…..well there’s physical clutter like little piles of change and gas receipts, dusty Harlequins, condom wrappers, craft supplies you never use and old shampoo bottles that are only 2/3 used up.
And then there’s time clutter – things that clog up your precious free time. Checking email, scraping little bits of mold off your bathroom ceiling, helping your elderly neighbor with her groceries – you know, terrible stuff like that.
The Ace of Cups reversed is all about emptying your cup – dumping out everything that just doesn’t make you tingle anymore so you can make room for the incoming thrills!
Veronica is my evil twin and alter ego. When she isn’t on the prowl for some sweet young thing, she’s taking over my laptop, knocking back the lime margarita’s as she frantically types out these skanky readings for you…
Vintage Wisdom Oracle by Victoria Moseley
It’s time for you to wise up already and start using your wisdom for once.
No, not your “intelligence” – that’s boring and overrated. Wisdom is a whole different ball game!
Choosing to make a waldorf salad the night before a potluck baby shower, so you don’t have to waste your saturday morning chopping apples, is intelligence. But skipping the dreaded baby shower altogether so you can frolick on your balcony with your latest boy toy is Wisdom.
Deciding to cut sugar out of your diet because you know it’s bad for you is intelligent. But strategically planning on replacing your sugar binges with explosive orgasms is wise.
So stop trying to be so intelligent all the time and start embracing your wisdom!
It’s been ages since I’ve done a Tarot challenge on my blog, and it feels like now is a good time! Here is your situation:
It’s a hot Summer night and you’re sitting outside at your local, late night cafe shuffling your Tarot cards and flipping through your new Tarot book. Suddenly, a total stranger sits down at your table. He’s tall, lanky and wearing those weird hipster glasses that everyone now thinks is “normal”. He has a creepy Leave it to Beaver style haircut and he smells like strawberry shortcake.
“I’m in the middle of a torrid love triangle,” he confesses to you, “and I need to know what I should do.”
As you begin shuffling your cards, he gives you the dirty details…“I have been madly in love with my best friend Damien’s ex-girlfriend Jane for three years. She has reciprocated these feelings – well, sort of. I think she might just be using me for sex, but I’m okay with that. Anyhow, Jane has recently got back together with Damien and now we have to keep our love a secret. I am not really sure how to proceed – do I stay with Jane and tell Damien? Do I continue sneaking around? Or do I break it off with Jane, even though she’s the love of my life?”
You lay out three cards….
Dame Darcy Mermaid Tarot
Based on this stranger’s situation, how would you interpret these Tarot cards? Please share your interpretation in the comment section below 🙂
If you would like to see how I read these cards CLICK HERE.
Here is my quick and dirty interpretation of these three cards:
"Well, mysterious stranger, the Knight of Pentacles tells me that you're a creature of habit and you like to proceed carefully in everything you do. Part of you might be tempted to not do anything right now because you don't want to rock the boat and cause chaos in your life.
However, the 10 of Swords indicates you are feeling majorly stabbed in the back! And rightly so. It sounds like you haven't really acknowledged your hurt over the fact that Jane has taken back up with Damien. Part of you knows that if you do acknowledge it, how you feel about Jane will change dramatically.
TheAce of Swords seems to be encouraging you to take the initiative and change things. Stop hiding and pussy footing around! It's time for you to be honest with yourself about what you want and what you will not stand for. It's time to turn over a new leaf and start doing things differently from now on. I feel that this Ace denotes a fresh start - a new beginning in your life that quite possibly does not include Jane. But only you can know that for sure.
Out of the three options you presented, which one feels the most empowering and liberating for you? Do that!
I’m looking forward to reading your advice for this mysterious stranger!!!
xoxo
Kate
Veronica is my rude, bitchy, diabolical twin. She reads Tarot, swears like a sailor and like all dysfunctional people, she loves to give advice….
Anna K Tarot
Finally, after the seemingly endless blaze of the Sun, we get the cool relief of darkness, illuminated by a scanty sliver of silver moonlight…..
The Moon encourages introspection. It is time for you to go within. The sun is loved by morons everywhere because its big, bright and fucking yellow.
The sun allows you to get distracted by everything, and live a life outside of yourself. The Moon doesn’t stand for that shit…
It’s harder to get distracted when your immersed in darkness. But the milky glow of the lunar sphere gives you just enough light to lead you back home to yourself.
Crazy-ass dreams are in the realm of The Moon – so pay attention to them! Don’t be one of those dicks who says “it’s just a dream.” Um, no it’s not. It’s a fucking magical vision, so have some respect!
Write it down, contemplate, explore, ask yourself some deep questions. Don’t just roll out of bed and pitter patter off to the beach to scope out cute boys and drink peach cider out of a thermos. Well, do that, but write down your dream first.
Veronica is my evil twin and Tarot reading queen! Each Friday she gets to share her cheeky wisdom on my blog. Let’s see what depraved insights she has about The Tower…
Druidcraft Tarot
Remember when you were a kid and you’d spend all day making a sandcastle, just so you could watch the tide come in and destroy it?
Life is kind of like that, but now that you’re all grown up, you get attached to your creations and throw a shit fit when things start to crumble and collapse….but you could be squealling with evil glee, if you wanted to!
Job losses, marriage breakdowns, the appearance of wrinkles and greying hair – all these things can be met with wild delight, if you’re in the right frame of mind.
So….are you getting upset about something merely because you think that’s the response you’re supposed to have?
Maybe those horrible events don’t have to cause you suffering after all?
Another way to see this card is to see it as an exploding, fiery phallus, with little people being spewed out the top. Either way, I think The Tower is a real gem of a card 😉
It’s time to go on a hot date…with your Tarot cards!
Now that Summer is here, it’s the perfect time to pack up your Tarot deck, a journal and pen and head off to the beach, a park or your backyard and do some self exploration.
If you’re wondering what on earth you’re going to ask your Tarot cards, I’ve posted some ideas below. I encourage you to draw only one card per question and to spend some time contemplating and writing. And who knows where your new insights will take your life 🙂
Dame Darcy Tarot & iced tea…yum!
What do I need to know/see/understand right now?
What do I need to focus on right now?
What message do my spirit guides/angels have for me?
How can I have more fun in life?
What’s the best way for me to make a positive difference in the world?
What will help me feel more at peace?
How can I express myself creatively this week?
What talent do I have that I need to use more?
What part of myself am I ignoring/denying right now?
What do I need more of in my life?
What do I need less of in my life?
How can I feel more connected to others?
Who in my life do I need to reach out to right now?
What is influencing me the most right now?
What spiritual lesson am I trying to master right now?
How can I be more powerful and effective in my life right now?
What is my biggest block at the moment?
What characteristics do I need to fully embrace?
What area of my life needs the most attention right now?
How can I feel more free?
What if you get a negative card in a positive position?
For example, let’s say you ask “how can I make a positive difference in the world?” and you get The Hanged Man. How on Earth will you interpret that?!
1. Put yourself in the position of the figure on the card. When you become The Hanged Man, what do you notice?
I notice that I am powerless to do anything action wise, but I still have control over how I think and feel. Surrendering to what is brings peace, fighting what is brings suffering.
I also notice that I am upside down, which gives me a totally different perspective on things than I had before!
So I might interpret this as meaning that I can make a positive difference in the world by not wasting energy on fighting against what is. Instead I should put my energy on finding peace where I am and remembering that there is always more than one perspective. When I am in a peaceful state and when I recognize there are many ways to see a situation, I will behave differently and voila! I will have made a positive difference in the world!
2. Ask “what is the positive side to this card?”
All cards – regardless of whether they appear “negative” or “positive” have a positive side to them.
For example, The Devil is about addiction and feeling trapped and stuck, but it’s also about breaking free from addiction and stuckness. So if I had gotten The Devil instead of The Hanged Man for the above question, I may conclude that in order to make a positive difference in the world, I need to first break free of my own destructive habits and patterns and then help others to do the same.
Share your experience...
Which question(s) did you choose to explore? Did you have any epiphanies? Feel free to share you experience in the comments below!
Veronica is my evil, Tarot reading twin. When she’s not writing for this blog, she’s out boozing and cruising for sweet young things and tapping out smut on her laptop! Oh, and she doesn’t give two shits about spelling things correctly, so don’t go emailing her about how she shouldn’t start a sentence with “and” or “but”….
Crystal Visions Tarot
The Knight of Pentacles is an incredibly practical man. He thinks things through.
But he’s also a boring, constipated, stuffed shirt who has no idea how to enjoy himself or move forward with his life.
The message he brings you is this….
“How are you being overly cautious in your life?”
There is nothing wrong with taking your time to think things through.
But overly planning things and being extra careful only work if we’re talking about birth control. Otherwise, it just sucks the magic out of daily life!
And here’s the thing – you were born naturally spontaneous and trusting in life. But then jerkoffs like your parents and evil robot school teachers instilled doubt in you by saying stuff like “without math 12 you will go nowhere!” and “you need to start saving for retirement now if you want to retire by age 80.”
Suddenly the world is a terrifying and cruel place, designed to break you and cause you misery.
Now I got off on a tangent…but what I want to tell you is that that is crap – pure and simple. The world is full of wonderful things – just think how many shrimp cocktails, cute boys and kitten videos exist right now.
Veronica is a voracious man eater, tarot reader, cat lover and my evil twin/alter ego. She talks like a sailor, slinks about like Catwoman and always has some deliciously subversive advice for you! So without further ado…I bring you Veronica Noir!
The Four of Rods is here to tell you to spend some time enjoying your hearth and home this weekend.
Delight yourself by doing boring crap like baking stuff in the oven. You know, like cinnamon buns and shit like that.
Wear an apron.
Clean things.
Make a fu*king pie!
But here’s the catch – don’t plan anything this weekend. Especially if you did a whole bunch of “stuff” last weekend. Have a couple of “home days” to yourself.
Genius and spiritual unfoldment do not arise from busy-ness and rushing about doing pointless things. Trust me!
But take the time to have a glass of wine and make some sort of horrid baked good – and you just might find yourself discovering the meaning of life in the process.
Or you might just find yourself mildly drunk. Either way, it’s a nice time
Veronica Noir is my batshit crazy twin sister. She is just like me except she’s brilliant, has no sense of guilt or shame, speaks her mind and does whatever she wants, when she wants! Kind of like a psychopath….but with a heart of gold. Oh, and she also reads Tarot…
Happy Friday!
The Goddess Sige is here to tell you to “shut the f*ck up!”
Oh wait, that’s not was she’s saying….she says “take some quiet time alone to rest, meditate and contemplate.”
She’s not just referring to physical chitter chatter, either. The more you quite your inner blatherings, the more in-touch with your divinity you will be.
Take a nap this weekend. Isloate yourself and ignore friends and family. They only distract you from achieving pure nirvana.
Your ego hates it when you get quiet! Remember that. Whenever you meditate, you are annoying the living crap out of your ego.
This fact alone can make meditation a more enjoyable, deliciously mischievous experience
Veronica is my nefarious twin and alter ego and she’s hear to read the Tarot and tell you how to live your life. She’s a fan of day drinking, night prowling (for young men) and just being all out evil – let’s see what diabolical advice she has for you today…
Veronica is my evil twin and Tarot reading queen! Each Friday she gets to share her cheeky wisdom on my blog. Let’s see what depraved insights she has about The Tower…
