Do you love Tarot? Do your friends and family think your nuts? Your not alone….
Lately I have heard from many people who enjoy Tarot reading and other metaphysical things, but struggle with the fact that their friends and family do not share their enthusiasm. This inspired me to tell you all about my 4 methods for dealing with this issue with humor, sass and zen-like tranquility.
First of all, I often totally forget that most people aren’t really into Tarot or other new-agey topics like crystals, angels, meditation, past lives and Reiki. Most days I walk around inside a happy, sunshiny bubble, totally oblivious to the negativity and limited views held by some.
So it comes as a jarring shock when I meet someone new and I chirp “I’m a Tarot reader!” and they look at me like I just said “I eat babies”.
This Summer I was having a conversation with someone I had only known five minutes. When I told him that I read Tarot cards, he said with genuine awe “oh cool! So you just make stuff up and take people’s money!” He seemed pretty impressed.
So as you can imagine, it was hard to burst his bubble by admitting that actually, no, that’s not what I do! As I explained that I truly believe Tarot works and is not a bunch of crap, I noticed a certain look come over him. I knew the look well. It was that oh, jeez, what a flake look.
I bet you know the look I mean 😉
Experiencing negative reactions from strangers is one thing. But it is entirely different when it’s your close friends and family…
I once had a relative tell me at a Christmas dinner that “Satan works through Tarot cards and if you mess around with that stuff, SATAN WILL GET YOU!” *sigh*
One of my dearest friends once exclaimed “people who are into crystals are total assholes!” (this was before she had been to my place and seen the plethora of crystals lining my bookshelves and coffee table!)
And for many years, I would hide my angel card decks and spiritual books when people came to visit. I didn’t want them thinking I was a New Age flake. But eventually I stopped caring.
So as you can see, not everyone in my life thinks that what I do is totally awesome. Crazy, I know!
So what do you do when your friends and family can’t stand your “woo-woo” side?
Tip #1: Don’t get defensive
Resist the urge to defend Tarot (or any other woo-woo topic) or convince them into seeing things your way. Instead, explain how much fun you have with Tarot and why you like it. You don’t need to say why you think its legit.
For example, when my relative warned me about falling into Satan’s grasp (too late!), I could have replied, “I have been reading Tarot for years and my experience has been very positive. I have so much fun studying the cards and giving readings and it has really helped me through some difficult times.”
When people see how much joy Tarot brings you, they will rethink their stance on it. This may not be obvious to you, but trust me, the gears in their mind are shifting!
Tip #2: Don’t get your panties in a bunch!
Friends, family and total strangers judge you as a New Age wing-nut? So what!
Try not to judge them in return as “ignorant”. Because you aren’t better than them. In fact, you may actually be more close-minded. For example, I have lumped everyone who enjoys team sports, video games, weddings, babies, fast food and ice cream into the “people I just can’t relate to” category. And that’s a lot of people! Almost everyone.
So we all make silly judgements about each other to one degree or another. This means you need not take it personally when it feels like someone is judging you. Let it go.
Tip #3: Use humor!
Seeing the funny side of all this can be a wonderful way to shift the energy and feel more connected with those around you.
When my good friend said “people who like crystals are assholes,” I simply said “fuck you! I love crystals!” Then we laughed and laughed and all was well.
Next time someone says something obnoxious like “I don’t believe in psychic phenomena because it’s not scientific,” simply shout “SCIENCE!” a la Thomas Dolby’s 1982 hit She Blinded Me With Science. That always goes over well!
Tip #4: Get comfortable with not being accepted
I know, I know, we want people to like us and agree with us. It just feels good. So when the opposite happens, it kind of sucks. But here is a liberating secret I want to share with you…
The more comfortable you are with being “unacceptable”, the more free you will be!
Here’s a quick story about me. I used to bellydance in restaurants. Every once in a while someone in the audience would be visibly offended. They might shoot dirty, disapproving looks my way or shake their head in disgust. It was lame.
Before I began dancing in public, this was my greatest fear – that I may in fact offend someone.
But prior to dancing professionally, I confronted this fear. I repeatedly imagined dancing for a roomful of horrified spectators and feeling totally at ease with it.
Then, when it actually happened that someone didn’t like my dancing – well, it just didn’t bother me. I focused my attention elsewhere and got on with the show!
And that’s what you need to do – focus your attention elsewhere and get on with the show. It’s okay that some people don’t get your interest in Tarot. Its also okay that some people might think you are total whack job for being into metaphysical things.
When you can imagine the whole world judging you as a crazy, metaphysical loon and then thinking “hmmm…you know what? I’m totally okay with it,” then peace and freedom will be yours for the taking!
I want to hear from you!
Is there anyone in your life that disapproves of your interest in Tarot and metaphysics? How did you deal with it? Tell me all about it in the reply section below 🙂
Enjoy this post? Sign up for FREE updates!
My monthly newsletter is full of Tarot spreads, Tarot exercises, deck reviews and more. Stay in the loop!
102 thoughts on “How to Deal with Tarot Haters!”
I’ve been looking for a reason to yell, “”SCIENCE!!” I’d like to say coincidence brought me here but there are none!
I just bought my first deck of tarot cards, so I’m stoked. I’m currently the owner of three pendulums and am very excited about this spiritual journey.
Ha ha Bex! You crack me up 🙂 I hope you have a blast with your new Tarot cards and I hope you come back to my site again and again!
i have some crystals and in the process of getting some tarot cards (already have a deck and a book picked out just have to wait till pay day) but am really scared to tell my parents and my sister because they are hardcore Christians and my mom has already shown her dislike to stuff like that before i even looked into it so i hope these tips will help.
Oh man.. I just did a read in a coffee shop for somebody only to get told off that they aren’t into it and don’t allow Tarot or that sort of thing in the shop. . . in front of my client.. so humiliating. I really was in a bubble thinking that it was ok and no big deal. I was so wrong. I haven’t officially come out to my family.. Some work people know but I just never expected a coffee shop to object. Thanks for your post it made me feel a lot better.
Oh wow! That is very weird. I would be majorly pissed off if that happened to me too. Glad my article made you feel better 🙂
OMGawd what happen to our constitution? To freedom of speech! I can’t even believe that happen!!! I live in california, so its pretty liberal here, thats why i can’t fathom getting ostracized in a flippen coffee shop! Its common to go into a coffee shop in my town, which it is our states capitol, and see gay and lesbian couples holding hands????, people with hair of all different colors????, people wearing pentacles and witch jewlery???? Anyway, have u ever heard of yelp? I honestly think u should give that coffee shop a terrible review on yelp! If u don’t wanna be “out” about it b/c your in a small town or something just write it with a different name. Also, you can write reviews on google, by enering the name of the business and val la, reviews will pop up under the information of the business. Even if there are no other reviews. And if u dont want to say they shunned u for doing a tarot card reading just say “the customer service was terrible! They kicked me out for reading a book about(insert something that sound really terrible on their part)…. I will never support this business judgemental, disturbing business again”. People read reviews especially like that, I do! And wont support a business after reading a review. Include specifics about who kicked u out or told u not to do the tarot card readings in there. If u don’t remember his / her name include specific identifying looks, time u were there, estimated date ect. Because if it wasn’t management, and they didnt aprove of that horrible behaviour, someone could get fired. best of luck????????✡????☮????☪
Thank you so much for sharing this. I just started learning tarot and shared my new hobby with a friend that I mistakenly thought would be excited for me. She immediately warned me that it was witchcraft and that she wouldn’t have anything to do with it. Your article and one from The Tarot Lady really helped me be ready for how to deal with her response with more grace than I otherwise would have. I started a blog to record my tarot learning journey and just wrote about my experience with my friend and linked your article in my post. Hopefully, it will eventually help someone else just as much as it did me.
Erica, I’m really happy that my post about Tarot Haters helped you out – and thank you so much for sharing my blog in your article 🙂 It’s always kind of sad and lame when a friend does something like that. Ah well, maybe she will come around at some point, but maybe not. In any case, glad my article will help you deal with it!
This is a great article! I would like to share it on my feed. I am a Holistic Practitioner and work with multiple energy healing modalities that includes intuitive healing and spiritual life coaching. When I started this 6 years ago I never let anyone upset me about what I did but I also did not talk about it unless asked. I was very sick with multiple illness’ before I started all of this. When people ask me how I recovered I start with telling them about Reiki. Violet flame was a big part of my healing process too, I didn’t talk too much about that. Most holistic people didn’t know what this was. Then started teaching classes. They become interested and ask questions. I’ve never been upset or embarrased about being a metaphysical practitioner and teacher. I’m a walking testiment of how well it works.
Sherri! I’m so glad you enjoyed this post and good to hear you love reiki so much. Thank you for sharing your experience here. I’m trained in Usui Reiki and I’ve heard of Violet Flame but I haven’t explored it yet. Reiki has definitely made a big difference in my life as well 🙂
I read professionally. I’ve had people cover their eyes and say horrible things. My response is usually, “The cards are a tool, just like a fork. But don’t stick it in your eye.”
I like that saying, Sheila! I will try it next time someone covers their eyes and freaks out during a reading 🙂
I live in the bible belt and I am a Christian. However, I am not doing witchcraft. I went through a divorce and I feel this helps me channel my feelings about things. It helps me think about things I hadn’t before. It helps me give myself advice. Its cheaper than a shrink. LOL. However, when I bought my cards at Books-A-Million the girl warned me as I was leaving to “be careful”. She gave me a very condescending look. I just ignored her. It did make me feel bad though and I have not shared my new hobby with my family because I know they will feel the same. This article really helped me feel better about it so thanks! I love your site and your youtube videos. You’re the best!
I’m so glad that this article helped you feel better and it’s good to hear that others disapproval hasn’t turned you off of Tarot.
I’m a bit shocked the bookstore cashier was so judgy! I wonder if she does that when people buy sex books, too? LOL.
Happy Tarot Reading,
Hi Kate. My name is Anna. I came from a shaman family but I myself have never experience anything paranormal before. But one weird day I went to Barnes and Noble just to look around and I walk pasted the section of tarot card I stopped for some weird reason. I just had a gut feeling of wanting to purchase a deck of tarot cards. I so I did. I have never once research about tarot cards or know what it is exactly. I came to my parents house and research on it. I read a couple post about paranormal things that happen. I kind of got freak out about the cards. I returned it the next day. After those days I keep thinking about it and I went back to purchased it again but I still feel scared or weird about having the cards around me. Just last night when I was sleeping. My husband had a sleep paralysis while I was still up. I’m even more scared. What should I do?
That’s wonderful that you followed your gut instinct and bought a Tarot deck – it sounds like you just need to get over some of your fears and preconceived ideas about what Tarot really is.
Tarot cards are not dangerous and they will not invite in evil spirits or anything – they aren’t the same thing as a ouiji board since you aren’t trying to contact spirits with Tarot cards.
Tarot cards are used primarily to communicate with your higher self – to access your creative/intuitive part of your mind and to get ideas and inspiration about various things in your life. They are nothing to fear!
In my own experience nothing scary has EVER happened as a result of using Tarot cards and I don’t know of anyone who has had these so called paranormal experiences with Tarot.
Having said all of that, I suggest you examine your fear about Tarot before you start working with your cards. If you like journalling, here are some things you might write about:
-What is it that you are afraid will happen if you start using Tarot cards? Is that realistic?
-Where did these ideas come from? (for example, religious programming, family, internet)
-Is there anything about exploring your own intuition that frightens you?
-What do you believe about Tarot?
When you start studying Tarot cards you do open a doorway – a doorway into your own subconscious mind and your own intuition and creativity. Some people actually find this frightening because to have that kind of power means they will have the added responsibility of using that power and knowledge wisely.
It’s important to feel relaxed and safe when your working with Tarot and I suggest you learn as much as you can about Tarot before doing any actual readings. This will help you shed your fears. Study the cards, read a book or two – these are my favorites: https://daily-tarot-girl.com/learn-tarot/tarot-reading-secrets-ask-kate/what-tarot-decks-books-recommend-absolute-tarot-beginner/
And of course, come back to my site for ideas. Here’s an exercise you might like: https://daily-tarot-girl.com/learn-tarot/how-read-tarot-cards-intuition/
Good luck and let me know how it goes 🙂
Tarot and spirituality have never really been a major mystery in my life. I grew up watching my mom and experienced things through her and her beliefs. Now that I’m older, I’m exploring them for myself because that’s where I’ve always felt at “home”. However my dad and my sister, not the most open minded of people. I settled in for your guided reading tonight and got myself relaxed the best way I know: a softly lit, quiet room with a candle for focus. My sister comes in and rudely asks, “Are you doing your witchy voodoo crud again?” Now it’s hard not to go off on that, but I managed, after all I was calming myself and working at clearing my mind. I used to think having to deal with the odd looks, skepticism, and down right rudeness was going to be the hardest from strangers. But having someone you love not understand feels so much worse.
Oh Victoria! I know what that is like – most of my friends and family think all this stuff is stupid, too. One thing I’ve noticed though is that some people get into the mystical/spiritual stuff later in life – like when they’re mid 40’s and 50’s and divorced. So there’s hope for your sister yet 😉
This is fantastic Kate! Spot-on advice. “Normal” and “Accepted” are vastly over-rated. Take it from someone who has been condemned to so many levels of hell I have to wear asbestos undies just to go to Thanksgiving dinner 😉
Haaaaha! Asbestos undies, my god! Your family dinners sound painful 😉
Thanks, I usually keep my cool with my cousin who has done all kid of really awful things to me for so much of my life. But she is younger and I have just shrugged it off politely. My mother had just moved into an assisted living place next to her mother and I read Tarot for a living and do it for my mother when she is upset and confussed which seh was. My cousin is a minister. I have attended her services on occassion out of respect although she is the farthest thing from spiritual. Anyway she came into my mother’s home and saw what we were doing and began to wave her hands in the name of jesus christ and exorcise me. My Dad was a minister and I am also ordained in a Humanistic Church that accepts ALL religions even though I am not religious.Well I lost it. I started screaming back and forth like we were kids I even baptized her with the coke I was drinking and you know what it felt great!!!!! I have been so pursecuted by my family all except my Dad who is gone and it felt so good to finally stand up and fight back!!!
Oh wow, Elizabeth, that sounds like quite a scene! I have no idea what I would have done in that same situation. But that’s so wonderful that you’re able to comfort your mom with your Tarot readings 🙂 She’s lucky to have a Tarot reader for a daughter!
Thanks for sharing your experience here – I am sure there are many others who can relate to this!
Hello, Kate I totally agree with you! I understand what you mean by getting “stares” I remember when I was wearing a shirt with just a little bit of cleavage I got dirty looks from some people like I was a horrible person :\ it wasn’t like my boobs were all out but I was like “Whatever.”
I also have struggled with using tarot but it’s an enjoyment of mine. Whenever I throw away my cards I end up wanting to go back to them and read for other people so I have chosen to go down this path. People may not understand it but I do.
Good for you for following your hunch that Tarot is something you want to explore!
And that’s funny about your cleavage – some people get all uppity and snitty when faced with a bit of cleavage – so I say have fun with it 😉
I am a total beginner to tarot reading and I would like to ask you some questions.
As you can see, I am an Asian guy living in a small country called Singapore.
I am a Buddhist as well so I am wondering if reading tarot is weird for me because as you’ve stated in one of your videos, once I’ve learned tarot reading, we can ask for guidance but I don’t know if I should start learning tarot reading or not?
I think tarot is witchcraft and is ”evil” initially but that’s not the case for me anymore after I have finally decided to go research and know more about it that I realized those witchcraft and evil things are just stereotypes that people labelled/give tarot as.
I think tarot decks/reading is really cool, but by just thinking that it is cool and to the fact that I’m a Buddhist, should I learn tarot reading and would I be able to connect or you know, I don’t want it to conflict my religion but I really want to learn and know more about it.
I think you’re a great teacher as well.
What should I do? :<
Thank you for reading and replying to my question,
I am sorry if I offend you with my question. :<
No, you didn’t offend me!
Great question 🙂
I think if you feel interested in learning about Tarot, then you should. I don’t really see how it could conflict too much with Buddhism, but maybe you could start by learning a deck like the Osho Zen Tarot, which has some Buddhist concepts in it.
I think if you approach learning Tarot as just another technique to learn more about yourself, then you really can’t go wrong.
Good luck with this, John and let me know how it all goes 🙂
Thank you so much for your answer.
I am just confused if tarot can be learned by any religion or only christian and catholic can learn tarot.
In addition to the fact that when some people say spiritual guidance when using or by doing tarot reading. But, I guess I am thinking too much about it and that all religion can learn tarot reading. I thought of this before until I saw some people say spiritual guidance so I thought only christian and catholic can do it.
Tarot can be learned by anyone – you don’t have to be christian or catholic. There is a lot of religious imagery and symbols in the Rider Waite Smith deck – cards like The Hierophant, Judgement and The Devil come to mind – but don’t let that put you off, they’re just symbols for larger concepts.
When I use the term “spiritual guidance” I am definitely not referring to religion – I am usually referring to the fact that you can use Tarot cards to get insight into issues of a spiritual nature (like “what is my life purpose? why am I here?”) and you can use it to tap into your higher self.
Hope that makes sense!
You know what, im from Singapore too. My parents also kind of disapprove my tarot readings, but again, this is my interest, and I know it will be my best friend for many years to come, Im a Buddhist too. Learning tarot is not a taboo.. I guess , if you know what you are doing.. just go ahead with it. My plan is to stay commited to tarot because in my life its hard for me to commit to much things except for tarot! So im not gonna get easily swayed with disapprovals. 🙂
I am a red haired green eyed 1st generation Afghan American, and I never fit the mold of what people are suppose to be. I always thought reading tarot would make me evil. I was always so drawn to tarot and intuitiveness , I fought it most of my life, it caused me to be unhealthy and have many addictions. Once I accepted who I was and allowed myself to freely pursue my love of tarot and woo woo stuff I have stopped having addictive behaviors. Be true to your self and don’t live for what others think of you. You are the star of your life, live it, and what matters is what you think of yourself.
This is wonderful advice Tanya, thanks for sharing this 🙂
I think what you say is true – that once we embrace our intuition it can help lead us along the right path. If we fear it, we are more likely to ignore our gut instincts and do what others want, which can lead us to addictions to numb the pain of being out of sync with ourselves.
I’m a newbie going to learn tarot. 🙂 I really wanted to find a sense of relaxation, and positive insight to learning something new. I’ve told a friend and they remarked I’ve gone from being not only gay to also practicing witchcraft!! Haha the joke is on them though, I’ve only learned that negative thoughts are what makes people overcome being Unaccepted and are able to break free! Thanks for all the information, Im very excited to learn about this new adventure. 😀
Vic, I always get excited when I hear that someone is just starting to learn Tarot – it is so much fun!!! Good luck and enjoy every moment of shocking your friends with your wild, gay witchcraft ways! LOL!
LOL – such great advice. When my husband discovered I was into all this “woowoo” stuff, he decided I was a bit of a nut, but he loved me anyway; and I decided he could think whatever he wanted. It’s worked out well, and over the years, he’s not only become more accepting, but started asking me for tarot readings, “witches brews” for various issues (I’m also an amateur herbalist and aromatherapist,) and wanting to know which crystal he should put in his pocket for various things.
I’ve also gotten the “you’re talking to Satan, because God doesn’t talk to cards” thing from a co-worker. I just told him I wasn’t talking to anyone or anything except my own intuition and subconscious knowledge . . . I don’t know if he really believed me, but he didn’t give me any more crap about it, either.
Thank you Wendy for sharing your approach! I love that your husband has eventually embraced the woo-woo side of things 🙂 Too bad about your co-worker – I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I feared that Satan was hiding behind everything!
OH MAN! What a great post! Exactly the kind of tarot wisdom I need.
I grew up in a Christian family and so yes, Tarot is OUT 🙁 My DF doesn’t care if I read but he won’t let me read for him. (He does not discourage me in any way tho 🙂 )
I am having family over this weekend and just thinking, “Where can I stash this HUGE pile of cards, library books and LWBs before Mom and Dad get here?” lol
Good to know some tips, and that I’m not alone. I really liked #4 and your meditation. I’m a people-pleaser and need to get used to *not* being one. 🙂
Thanks for your great words of wisdom.
Thanks for your comment, D.L. I am glad you could relate to my article 🙂 Hopefully you can put those tips to good use when your fam comes to visit! I know sometimes its tough to break away from our typical “people pleasing” habits- but it gets easier with time.
Well said, Kate! Thank you for the article. I’ve been watching your weekly reading for couple of months and you always encourage me 😀
I’m following my path even if my closest friends think I’m a weirdo. The good thing is I start to meet new people at the same frequency (including you).
And I super like this quote —> The more comfortable you are with being “unacceptable”, the more free you will be!
Thank you, Citra! Yeah, its funny how that happens when you start meeting people that reflect your beliefs and interests and energy. Here’s to being true to who we really are…even if others think were nuts!
Loved this article! In my own experience I’ve noticed that the more relaxed I am about my metaphysical interests the less I receive “reactions” from others. In the beginning my own fear of other’s judgement made me feel on edge about discussing my interests. Once I let go of the need to be accepted people actually started accepting. Of course, by then it was a non-issue. 😀
Yes! Erika, you are bang-on here. I noticed this as well. When I am not uptight about how others may react, I rarely get negative reactions. It’s certainly a Law of Attraction thing, for sure.
I just wanted to say I love your posts. 🙂 I actually haven’t used a tarot deck before however I do use angel oracle cards since that is what I resonate with the most and I just love using them. Whenever we embark on anything new in our lives and when people discourage us it can make us feel like shit. But the most important thing is we are doing what is amazing for us, it just gets sticky when its friends and family that has a negative view on tarot cards and even oracle card decks.
Thank you so much for this post!
Well said, Nadia! Glad you liked the post 🙂
My family isn’t weird about tarot…just weird about me doing their readings. I think they are afraid that I’ll get the skinny on them!!! However, my dear and truly sweet ex-mother-in-law wrote on FB that she worried for my soul. I haven’t had the courage to post anything about tarot since 🙂
Oh Deborah! That is too bad – but also a bit funny that the state of your soul is being discussed on Facebook 😉
I do Tarot since 35 years. In the beginning, 30 years ago I did it professionally in Malls in a small boot. Average 92 customers a week. If someone tell me he don’t believe, I say ok. But you can try and then decide if its not true or is. When they tried, they like as I speak more of their past and present then future.
If the argue I should not take money, I recall the Universal Law that say that we all have to pay for the gifts we receive from the Universe. The easiest way to pay is with money. When you pay by being good or doing good, you are never over. You never know when it is enough. A bill of money ends it straight. And I always say to anyone, today again, if you don’t like what I say, you don’t pay. ın my whole carrer it happened twice and one came back and then paid me.
And as for the Bible that says that fortune tellers and so are bad, I have my Hebrew Bible that I translate word to word. There are not words in Hebrew for fortune tellers. It is translated by knowledgable people…. So the Bible we have (all languages that are not Hebrew) are not well translated. I read Hebrew with my Tarot Cards of course but I also have other means to translate it.
I do as you do and am not bothered by anyone that is against what I do. I let them be. I read the Mayan Messages everyday that tells me to love anyone and let them follow their path and their choices. As long as I follow mine, everything is ok.
When I meet someone for the first time, I analyse their name and tell them who they are without talking of the tarot. I just say I am a fortune teller.
Kate is 10, The Wheel of fortune….
Shows that you take life as it comes, no rushing, no pushing, you are an opportunist, seeing (feeling!) good things when they pass by.
10 is also 1 The Magician
Very talented, your strength is your voice, what you say ands the way you say it. You surely have no problems creating a story with what you read. This is the key, making a Novel of their lives….
And I don’t have you family name….
By the way all my family accepts me and consult me at times.
Thank you Rogerv, for sharing your perspective here 🙂 And your reading of my name was very accurate – I think I may use that technique myself, I think its great! That’s wonderful your family is supportive – I think that makes things much easier overall.
I’m curious as to how you derived the number ’10’ from the name ‘Kate’.
And then the number ‘1’ from the number ”10′.
I am intrigued by the legacy of the Hebrew’s.
Rogerv is using numerology. Each letter has a number assigned to it, and then you add the numbers. So, for example, Kate works out this way: K = 2, a = 1, t = 2, and e = 5. 1 + 2 + 1 + 5 = 10.
When the total is more than 9, you add those digits together again to get a single digit. To get your tarot card, the numbers 1 thru 21 are equivalent to the Major Arcana card of that number, 22 is The Fool, and anything bigger than 22 is added together until you get something that’s 22 or less. Double digit tarot cards are related to the single digit card that their number reduces to, which is why he also mentioned The Magician.
Tarot and numerology are very closely related, with the “energy” of the cards being related to the energy of their number, and numerology can add a lot of insight, not just to your readings, but to your life in general.
I’ve never grown up in or around hyper religious individuals, but I did grow up in a really liberal “intellectual” family where things like tradition, spirituality and even culture really aren’t valued. A bunch of my activities besides Tarot don’t really line up with my spiritual side either (video games, comic books, writing, programming, etc.). So when I tell people I read Tarot, I usually get a reaction similar to “uhhh…you do know that’s like, totally fake right?”
I used to say things like “of course I know it’s fake, it’s just for fun”, but now I’ve worked up the courage to say something like”y’know, I think we can all agree that there are a lot of unanswered questions floating around in the universe, and I see no reason why definitively discounting some sort of cosmic or spiritual presence as “totally fake” makes any sense at all. It’s not a popular theory, but it’s one that I’d like to explore.”
It’s totally weird to try and reconcile sides of yourself you feel aren’t working together. (Self identified liberal intellectual who also believes in spirituality). Even weirder when your friends and family are making you feel like an idiot for believing in something they don’t.
Thanks for the post – made me think a lot about just being really genuine about every aspect of myself, not just the popular or acceptable parts.
Julia, thank you for sharing your experience – its not easy speaking your truth, especially when there’s a good chance the other person might label you “flaky” or “out there”. And I know it is quite a trippy experience to go back and forth between different aspects of yourself that don’t seem to connect – but also kind of liberating too, I think. And you are right – there is so much more out there and I don’t think are minds are capable (at this point, anyway) of comprehending it all.
I have been reading metaphysical books for years and came “out” just recently when a metaphysical store opened near me. I finally have like-minded people to discuss things with and I am enjoying that immensely. My mom is a devout Jehovah Witness and she voiced her displeasure with my interests. I just told her that I respect her conviction in her beliefs and that I would appreciate the same consideration. I haven’t heard another word about it. Now I feel I have nothing to hide and that is liberating! Thanks for your website . It is a real treat.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Julia – that is awesome that you “came out” and are now meeting like-minded people 🙂 Good for you!!!
Hey Kate and all my fellow “woo woo weirdos”,
Great post. I’m mostly in the Tarot Closet at the moment, my partner is supportive of my tarot practice and reads a little herself, but most other folks don’t know I read cards. I’m trying to work up my courage to be “out and proud” about my practice because I feel very drawn to starting my own tarot blog. I feel like this article is exactly what I needed right now. Thanks again,
Sarah that is good to hear! You can still start a Tarot blog and be fairly anonymous, but it frees you up to be “out and proud”. Let me know when you start your blog – I would love to read it!!! 🙂
Thanks Kate, that is very kind of you. 🙂 I have a primitive page set up at tarotparlor.wordpress.com I’m excited to begin adding content. No fear! 😀
Your blog looks great! I loved your reading 🙂
I invite Tarot fearmongers and haters to have a little tarot 101. Knowledge conquers fear, and we are pioneers…showing the world a new way to think and operate ! Also, everytime someone crosses my path and claims to hate and fear Tarot, I take it as a perfect opportunity to educate them about Tarot. Never been spit on yet or had rotten fruit thrown at me…yikes !! Thanx for all you do to help us learn and be prepared 😉
Terry, I agree! I have never met anyone who has said “you know, I studied tarot for a while, then realized it was totally evil.” Because if someone understands what Tarot actually is, there is no way they can think its “bad” in any way. Knowledge does conquer fear!
I loved your article, especially the ‘humor’ part! I totally agree with you and Biddy that it can be helpful to have something in mind to say when/if the subject of your Tarot practice is brought up. This way you don’t get caught off-gaurd and find yourself too flustered to think of something intelligent to say!
Yep! Being prepared is always a good thing 🙂
great post! about 10 years ago i picked out my first tarot deck (egyptian) and began my pagan studies but my grandmother whom i lived with condemned me and threatened to kick me out of her house for “devil worship.” i tried to explain my POV but she didn’t care. i’ve always been too poor to live on my own so after some time my spiritual studies faded and i felt like i did, too in a lot of ways. about 3 years ago i restarted my pagan studies but hid it, especially from my grandmother. now i’ve finally moved from her house and have felt freer than i have in a long time and have even added 2 more decks to my repertoire and have had a lot of success and personal growth. i’ll never understand why one person would want to stymie another’s growth but i guess the important lesson is to say, “fuck the haters!” and keep on going 🙂
LOL! Yes, well put, Genevieve! I was actually going to say “fuck the haters” in my post, but I chickened out at the last minute and deleted it – so thanks for saying it for me. That is so sad that your grandmother was so against Tarot – I guess she was coming from a place of fear – but still, very frustrating for you. Glad you are once again free to pursue your interests and personal growth 🙂
I am very thankful and grateful that my whole family support me especially my life partner of 14 years. He never complaints or gets angry when I do readings. Our time together is very limited.
Talita, that’s wonderful that your family is so supportive. My partner is also very supportive. I think it would be really tough if he wasn’t.
I am so new to “reading” Tarot I still squeak. The only exposure of my cards to my friends or family has been asking them on Facebook for a number btwn 0 ~78 , pulling that card and then explaining that card’s characteristics and meanings, I have told them all I am novice and I am using this technique to help me learn the cards and that I can add little personal insight at this point because of that. My sister-in-law was happy to oblige until she pulled 4 of Pentacles. (I used Brigit’s Biddy Tarot card explanation not my “white book ” as the example) In real life, she is extremely wealthy, by marriage and inheritance, she is tight fisted and buys people, she made a loan to another family member in what I perceive to be almost like a power grab (blunt, I know, but true!) the day the card was pulled. She immediately recognized herself in the card, like she had been “outed”, and she hasn’t asked for another card since lol.
I just started as I said, but my husband has been totally excepting….. so far. Could be he thinks its a passing fancy, time will tell I guess but for now that helps. I also have 4 sisters who think I am bonkers but when I think about it they have always thought that way about me so not much of a reason to hide Tarot from them then! I have always been a dreamer and seeker of what is truth and what is real so when it comes to uber religious folks or Atheists telling me I am a loon I look at them with a smile on my face and simply ask them how their religion or lack there of has worked for them so far….
hahaha Mercury retrograde has gotten me a few looks too! Luckily it’s almost over!!
Thank you so much Kathleen, for sharing your Tarot experiences! Loved the four of pentacles story 😉
My family are church goers and my gran has seen me with the cards in the middle of a read and not mention anything.
I am hiding my cards and books at the moments. I have LOADS of decks and a belly dancer? cool!!
I think there are plenty of churchgoers/religious people who have no issue with Tarot…but of course, there are plenty that do! It must be hard to hide all your decks, LOL!
Bravo!! I love that you stand firm in your confidence in what you do. How Seven of Wands 🙂
Thanks Brigit – yes, Seven of Wands, indeed!
I’ve been going through this exact thing with my mom. The last couple of times she was with me looking at Tarot cards, she goes, “you don’t believe in this stuff, right?” Or when I share some of the history with her, she’ll say,”it’s fine as long as you don’t believe in it because that’s when you get it into trouble.” I’ve tried saying “Oh I do it for fun,” and leaving it at that, or explaining that the Tarot isn’t all about belief. There’s that side of it of course, but I tried to convey to her some other things about it like- the history, psychology, artwork, etc. It wasn’t my goal to change her views or get her to share my enthusiasm; I was just showing her other ways someone could appreciate the Tarot, aside from the whole belief issue. She seems satisfied with this at first, then a minute later she’ll ask all over again. -.- The last time I did get a little defensive about it, but only because of all the times she went there, lol. (I still don’t bring it up with some members of my extended family, only because I think they would freak. Kinda like how the atheists and everyone else in my family steers clear of certain topics in general or of the people who REALLY get into something over these things xD) Anyway, I really like these tips. I think next time with my mom I’ll just say, all sincere, something like, “Aww, I’m sorry. Am I making you uncomfortable? You can go wait in the religion section if you want.”
And as someone who has taken a few belly-dance classes herself and has talked to her camera in public when making a video, well…”boom, boom ain’t it great to be crazy?” 😉
Haha – yes, its great to be crazy! 🙂 Chani, I think its hard not to get defensive, especially when it feels like someone keeps attacking you or just won’t let up. I am lucky that my parents are very supportive and I have only had to deal with the odd snide comment from strangers and the odd friend – I am not sure how I would deal with a constant stream of criticism, to be honest, but it sounds like you handle it pretty good 🙂
Kate, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate all you said here. Some people know of my passion for Tarot and all things metaphysical and I didn’t advertise it, but lately, I decided I don’t care anymore. Tarot is a tool to me and is no different than meditating, praying, or any other divine practices. Top it all off with a love for crystals, more specifically my collection of crystal skulls that I have obtained for about ten years, and I am probably considered a first class weirdo!! lol The skull collection consist of beautiful stones from around the world and they have a wonderful energy. I think any light worker should have one. It doesn’t matter how big it is. Even a tiny one can hold a lot of energy, sometimes more than a bigger skull. I’m tired of trying to validate my interest anymore. It’s so nice to see “like” people here. Thanks again, Kate!!
Thank you Deborah 🙂 I’m glad my article resonated with you. Crystal skulls are so cool! I don’t have one (yet), but I find myself drawn to them. So nice to hear that you no longer feel the need to validate your interests and care too much what others think – so refreshing!
Wonderful article. Thank you!
🙂 You welcome!
wow Kate, awesome blog. I too have struggled with the “what will people think” scenario. For me, coming out of the closet so to speak has happened in stages. I am 52 and have been a Christian all my life. First half of my life as a protestant and the second half catholic. I first followed my divine calling and became a Reiki Master and faced the struggles of explaining that to my Christian friends and then I followed my guides further into the forbidden realms of tarot. Reiki and Tarot help me to grow and transform myself into a better more loving, spiritual person. I have a closer walk with my Lord now than ever before.
Absolutely you are right, Kate, when confronted, becoming defensive is not the correct response. That just plays into their game plan. Instead, express the fun, and the personal growth received and this will play into their curiosity. It doesn’t compute. Something from the devil shouldn’t make you more spiritual or more loving. I have come to believe that we are to gently guide our misguided Christian friends and relatives to the light. Not cower in the closet. What do you think?
Art, thank you so much for sharing your perspective. That is really neat to see how you have branched out of your religion and used different avenues (reiki and tarot) as a way to have a deeper understanding and connection to your faith. And yes, I agree about not cowering in the closet – I don’t think we should hide any longer. I feel that living fearlessly can be very inspiring for others – we don’t have to convert anyone (that takes waaaay too much energy anyway!), all we need to do is be ourselves and do what we feel guided to do.
Thanks so much for your comment, Art 🙂
I have a friend (we’ve known each other for 20 years!) whose a born again Christian who goes bananas if I try to say anything positive about the Tarot so we’ve simply agreed to disagree an avoid the subject altogether. What is interesting is his religious beliefs have not helped him improve his life one bit but I cannot convince him to try something different that actually might work–like Tarot spirituality. It is really sad, actually how miserable his life is in many ways and the lack of any power to overcome negative stuff in his life. But as they say, “you can lead a horse to water….”
oh, that is sad! It may not actually have to do with his religion though. I am not a Christian myself, but I am sure there is a way to use many of the Christian teachings to improve your outlook on life, if you wanted to. It must be frustrating for you though, to observe your friend suffering like that. And annoying that you can’t even talk about your love of Tarot with him!
I have nothing to add. Just want to say I missed you and I’m so glad you’re back. (Love to Veronica, too!)
Thank you Jamie! 🙂 Right back at you – I miss reading your comments, too!
Great article Kate. I especially like your belly dance story and your advice to “focus your attention elsewhere and get on with the show”.
Thank you Barbra 🙂
Its been a while!
If being a Tarot Reader makes me a weirdo then…I’M A FUCKING WEIRDO AND I LOVE IT!! Lol!! My ex didn’t like that I read tarot and it pissed him off when he’d lie to me and I pull out the cards and tell him the truth. See why he’s my ex? Can’t lie to me buddy. Lol!!
I also had a teacher tell me that messing with Satan then trying to get out of that lifestyle would be very hard. I didn’t even tell her I read Tarot…that day I had done a spirtiual bath and went to school smelling lovely and dressed all in white!
Sometimes I do get defensive. Other times I just don’t care what others thinks. My parents are fine with it because my grandmas read cards as well.
I love bellydancing!! Its so freeing!
LOL! I don’t think I would like it either if my partner whipped out a Tarot deck to see if I was lying or not! That is so cool your grandma reads Tarot…and that you like bellydancing 🙂 Thanks for sharing here, Erica!!!
Only because I just KNEW he was lying….plus he thought Tarot is mumbo jumbo. And i’d get a kick out of his dumb expression when i’d varify what he was really up to. Hehe. I wouldn’t do it all the time now…just when I knew he was lying…about seeing another female.
Only because I just KNEW he was lying….plus he thought Tarot is mumbo jumbo. And i’d get a kick out of his dumb expression when i’d varify what he was really up to. Hehe. I wouldn’t do it all the time now…just when I knew he was lying.
I love you’re picture in the bellydance outfit. I am a bellydancer and TarotTeacher. Somehow these activities give me the same buzz. Great to see someone else with that combination.
Monique/ The TarotTeacher
That is so neat! I feel these two – tarot and bellydance – go together so nicely. Both are very mysterious and magical to me. Nice to hear you feel the same way 🙂
I was a long time hiding my love for tarot and such for my friends and family. I still am rather shy about this subject, but I don’t hide it anymore My daily cards are among other woo woo items displayed on a cabinet (altar) in my living room.
Those tips you have given us are so helpful. Thanks a lot!
You are so welcome, Ellen! I don’t think everyone who is into Tarot needs to be really out there about it. There are still some people in my life that don’t even know I do Tarot – I just haven’t mentioned it to them. But if they ever came over to my house then they would know!
Oh yes…I can relate. My ENTIRE! family are churchgoers, and believe that the bible is the WORD OF GOD!, literally and fundamentally. My mother even tried to tell me what happened with the original sin in the GARDEN OF EDEN! (when you see all caps picture it being screamed at you, it’s lots of fun lol.).
To be honest, we’ve never really talked about this subject (except with one of my sisters) too much, but I gotta say that if they cross the THRESHOLD of my bedroom, they are always in for a treat with my TAROT ALTAR! set up. To be honest, I think I secretly enjoy their look when they give me a glare or their mouth drops open. haha.
LOL! Ricky, I agree – it is sometimes really fun to rile others – especially when it is soooo easy 😉
I’m still not “out” to my family and most friends. I’m still really new at this; I don’t plan on hiding it forever.. so I love these tips!
I had a moment of forgetting this week at work.. we had an influx of call-outs, the compactor was supposed to be emptied but the company never showed up, a woman collapsed… I said it was mercury retrograde and got some puzzled looks lol
I <3 video games, babies, weddings, fast food, AND ice cream. 😉
Well Nicole, I guess we will just never be friends then – ha ha 😉 That’s so funny about the mercury retrograde thing – I can imagine their looks!
Comments are closed.