This is part III of a four-part series called The Tarot Court Cards…In Bed!

I decided to shake things up a bit and look at the Tarot Court Cards from a sexy perspective. Why?

Because Court Cards are kind of a snore. And adding some sizzle and smut makes it fun!

You can read all about the slutty (and not so slutty) Queens right here, find out the filthy ways of the Pages right here and those kinky Kings!

Okay, now onto the Knights!

 

The Tarot Knights in Bed

The Knights are my FAVORITE court cards to hop into bed with!

Why? Because they are essentially alpha males in training. They have all the vigor and sexual energy required of a hero in a steamy romance novel, but lack the overbearing bossiness of the Kings.

Even better, the Knights are naturally adventurous and are (quite literally) going places.

The Knight of Cups

Suit qualities: emotions, feelings, relationships

Personality traits: Spontaneous, disarmingly romantic and earth shatteringly sensual, the Knight of Cups knows how to show you a good time.

This Knight looooves grand, public displays of affection. He’s the kind of guy who will propose to you at a football game or in a restaurant – not because he wants to marry you – but because the theatrics of it give him thrills.

In bed he is very creative and has a gift for making unconventional sexual practices – like threesomes and crossdressing – seem deliciously romantic.

He is a true sexual adventurer, learning all kinds of Tantric sex tricks! Books like Extended Massive Orgasm and the Kama Sutra are permanent fixtures on his nightstand.

Since he is of the water suit, his sexuality is quite free-flowing. He is quite likely to be bi-sexual or at the very least fascinated with expressing his feminine side by dressing as a woman (in the bedroom).

And here you thought his dressing up as Britney Spears every Halloween was to make people laugh. It’s not.

Secret fantasy: Cross dressing in your lacy lingerie!

 

The Knight of Wands

Suit qualities: creativity, passion, career, action

Personality traits: This dude is full of bravado, fiery pizzaz and get up and go – they don’t call him the Knight of Rods for nothing! Tee-hee-hee 😉

Every inch a manly man, this Knight makes an outstanding lover, but will manage to surprise you by penning steamy, erotic fiction (just for you!) and cooking you a gourmet dinner.

Because the Knight of Wands is driven by passion, he’s unwilling to settle for anything less than explosive, fire-work sex.

Which seems really exciting at first, but can get kind of tiring. Sometimes you just want mediocre, lacklustre sex – you know, the kind where you leave your socks on and write tomorrow’s grocery list in your head. The Knight of Wands just doesn’t understand this.

Secret fantasy: This man does not have any “secret” fantasies. He makes his fantasies known and then takes action!

 

The Knight of Pentacles

Suit qualities: money, health, home, the body

Personality traits: This knight is the most cautious of them all. In bed, he’s obsessed with safe sex.

He’s the kind of guy who will say “I think we should wait” or “are you sure your ready?” – even though your both 42.

The Knight of Pentacles is stable, yet emotionally guarded. He won’t open up easily and he doesn’t show emotion well. Saying “I love you” is a very rare event, indeed.

Once you get him between the sheets he can be a bit….dull. Sex toys? better not go there. Swinging? Never! Light bondage? Don’t even think about it. His sexual repertoire consists of the missionary position and um….the missionary position.

On the bright side, he likes to workout and is a bit obsessive about maintaining his hot, chiseled body. So its not all bad with this fellow – and he’s not a bad choice if your rebounding from a tiring stint with the Knight of Wands.

Secret fantasy: Don’t ask. Because he won’t tell. And even if you did ask he would simply say “I don’t have any fantasies!” in a stilted, wooden voice.

 

The Knight of Swords

Suit qualities: intellect, thoughts, mind, communication

Personality traits: Well, just looking at this guy you kind of already know how he’ll be in the sack.

The Knight of Swords loves to rush forward and plunge himself into things with ferocious speed – literally and figuratively.

Here’s a guy who doesn’t waste any time ripping your clothes off and throwing you down on the bed. But be forewarned: he wastes no time in jumping up and dashing out before you even know what hit you!

Afterglow? After-go!

Despite being a swords card, this wham-bam-thank-you-maam Knight isn’t all that thoughtful. He’s good at focusing his mind on getting what he wants, but he never really thinks things through to figure out why he wants it.

Secret fantasy: Because this Knight is of the Swords realm, he is very mind oriented and loves over-analyze things. Or should I say over-analize? Say no more!

 

To Sum Things Up…

Looking at the Tarot Court Cards in a whole new way brings them to life!

The Tarot Court Cards are multidimensional characters and while most descriptions of them can be pretty yawn-worthy and forgettable, I guarantee you won’t soon forget the filth you just read here.

Add Your Two Cents!

In the comments below, tell me which Tarot Knight you think would make the most captivating lover and why?