August 2015

Why meditate when you could just do nothing?

4 Comments / August 2015, Veronica Noir / /

VeronicaVeronica is my evil twin/alter ego who reads Tarot on my blog every Friday! In between reading Tarot you can find her getting day drunk on her balcony, snoring in a yoga class and on AshleyMadison.com, pretending to be married.

meditate
Ascended Masters Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue

Are you one of those people who think you should meditate, but never seem to get around to it?

Here’s a tip: Meditation is just doing nothing.

Everyone thinks it’s some mystical thing requiring discipline and spirituality. It isn’t.

I would say it’s just like being lazy but it’s so much more than that…..it’s being lazy on purpose!

The reason you’re having trouble meditating is because you’re associating it with monks and jerks who do yoga. Stop it!

Meditation is the ultimate freedom – better than rollerskating with no underpants on or calling in fake-sick to work and staying home to eat chocolate-peanut-butter Coconut Bliss ice cream while watching Vampire Diaries re-runs on Netflix.

Want to meditate more? Start thinking of it as a time when you don’t have to do shit. You don’t even have to think! Which is probably why you watch all those stupid TV shows in the first place! Am I right?

Why meditate when you could just do nothing? Read More »

Get WILD! Veronica style

6 Comments / August 2015, Veronica Noir / /

VeronicaVeronica is my evil twin and Tarot reading superstar! She’s been spending her Summer scoping out hot, gay dudes on the beach (because the only straight dudes seem to be soft, pasty dads) and reading all sorts of low-brow smut. Just the kind of woman you want to take advice from!

the-empress-tarot-card-meaning
Rider Waite Tarot

The Empress is your classic nature-slut who loves the wild, untamed rivers, dense forests and tangly unkempt gardens and she’s hear to say this:

“You’ve been keeping yourself pruned and domesticated for far too long…and it’s high time you went wild!”

For those of you whose idea of “wild” is smashing beer bottles on your head or getting groped at one of those Cancun foam parties…think again.

True wildness happens when you just let things go. You stop maintaining things, letting nature take it’s course. No efforting involved.

Like not mowing your lawn for a year or going braless at a farmer’s market.

Embracing your wildness lets you appreciate who you really are and best of all, it pisses lots of people off – reason enough for me!

So this weekend, how will YOU let yourself go wild? And don’t say “going braless at a farmer’s market” because that’s my idea.

Get WILD! Veronica style Read More »

Success is exhausting….mediocrity is bliss!!!

2 Comments / August 2015, Veronica Noir / /

veronica 2

Veronica is a free spirited tramp who loves to eavesdrop in coffee shops, lead young men astray and of course…read Tarot! Since she’s my evil twin/alter ego, I let her spew her mystical ramblings every Friday on my blog…

9 of wands

Success is sweet because once you are high up, you get to look down on everyone.

But then you start to fantasize that everyone’s out to get you, trying to knock you down and stomp on your face.

Success is stressful!

But nothing says zen-bliss like mediocrity. Sometimes its nice to just aim for blandness, middle of the road, average and unimpressive.

Sliding in under the radar is the most underrated, hedonistic pleasure.

“Reach for the stars!” annoying people say.

I like to reach for the glow in the dark stars on my bedroom ceiling that were haphazardly stuck on by the previous resident of my apartment. I know I can reach those!

So my advice for this weekend is this: keep your expectations low and no one gets disappointed!

Success is exhausting….mediocrity is bliss!!! Read More »

Just be yourself! And ruin society…

4 Comments / August 2015, Veronica Noir / /

VeronicaVeronica is my evil twin and alter ego. For some sick reason I let her take over my blog on Fridays so she can spew her opinions, rants and advice. Let’s see what she has to say about the Seven of Swords…

seven of swords
Housewives Tarot

Have you ever been told by some well meaning twit to “just be yourself”?

And did you think “but if I was truly mySELF, I wouldn’t be here doing this stupid shit in the first place.”

So here’s the thing…

No one actually means it when they say “be yourself” – what they really mean is that your current performance of going through the motions of everyday, mind-numbing life is less convincing than it should be.

It’s not enough that you toil away at a meaningless job, suffer monogamy, engage in inane chit chat with others and pay tax, insurance, processing fees, administration fees and licensing fees.

You must do this with genuine enthusiasm! Or at least convince others that you are genuine.

Nothing brings the morale down like someone who just can’t be bothered to pretend anymore.

So what if you actually did start acting more like your real self? What would it look like? What would you stop doing? What would you start doing? And best of all….how would it mercilessly shred the fabric of society?

Just be yourself! And ruin society… Read More »

Interview with Oracle Deck Creator Debbie A Anderson

2 Comments / August 2015, interviews / /

Have you ever thought about creating your own oracle or Tarot deck?
Join me as I chat with Debbie A Anderson, the lady behind the Vibrational Energy Oracle and the new Vibrational Earth Children Oracle.

In this interview we discuss…

  • Following intuitive/spiritual guidance
  • Creating your own oracle card deck
  • What it takes to self publish a deck
  • And more!

Debbie’s website: http://www.vibrational-energy.com/

Debbie’s facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/VibrationalEnergyOracleDeck

 In the comments below, tell me this: what kind of oracle/Tarot deck you would create if you were going to make your own deck?

Happy Tarot Reading!
xoxo
Kate

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Why forgiveness is totally stupid…

4 Comments / August 2015, Veronica Noir / /

VeronicaVeronica is my evil twin sister and voracious Tarot reader. Penning smut by day and vamping about the streets at night. This booze swilling “lady” won’t quit until she’s had her fill of thrills, peanut butter ice cream and younger men. Let’s see what slutty wisdom she’s rolled out for you today…

3 swords
Intuitive Tarot by Cilla Conway

The other day I was sitting on the beach, reading Star magazine and sipping Margarita out of my stainless steel thermos, when two seagulls started to scrap!

This one seagull was a total dick, brutally attacking the other seagull and stealing his starfish. It was quite a scene.

But then like 20 seconds later, I spy these same two seagulls sitting side by side like lovers, watching the waves crash against the shore.

WTF? I thought

My good twin Kate said “wow, isn’t the capacity for forgiveness in the animal kingdom just amazing?”

And I said “no, they’re just really dumb. They don’t remember.”

Because Seagulls don’t have big, clunky human brains they lack the capacity to ruminate and stew about the shitty behavior of others. Lucky bastards.

So the message is this: you can either be an intelligent, grudge-holding, miserable mess or dumb and blissful.

No, you can’t be smart and happy – don’t be a greedy bitch!

So get to work and start putting your attention where it belongs….on dumbing yourself down.

You can start by reading Star magazine for a minimum one hour a day – that’s been working for me 😉

Why forgiveness is totally stupid… Read More »