Veronica Noir - Daily Tarot Girl

Participation is for wimps

Veronica is my evil twin sister who spends her days flirting with 20-year-old boys, suntanning topless on public beaches and saying NO to charities….she needs that money for martinis! Let’s see what evil advice she has for us today…

Osho Zen Tarot

Today’s Tarot card is Participation (aka Four of Wands).

When I was in elementary school, my teachers were always blathering on and on about “participation.” As in “Veronica, why aren’t you participating?”

Well, for starters I don’t participate in things that are stupid (like dodgeball) and I certainly don’t participate in things just because generic rule followers request it of me.

So take a look at your life today and notice what kinds of things you’re participating in. Do you enjoy it? Does it bring you satisfaction? Or are you doing it to appease someone?

For example, do you participate in donating to the charity of the week when you’re going through the checkout at Costco? Is it because you want to? Or is it because you’re worried that if you don’t, all those hot dog munchers behind you will think you’re a heartless bitch?

Participation is wonderful when it brings people together and diabolical when it forces you to just go through the motions for fear of being ostracized !

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Cooking for one….is not a f**king tragedy

Veronica

Veronica Noir is one of the world’s greatest Tarot readers…and she is also my evil twinsies! She is single, diabolical and on fire – travelling the world reading Tarot, seducing young men and running naked on the beach! Let’s see what advice she has today…

You know what I’m tired of?

Hearing people, I mean women, say things like “Oh, it’s just me so I don’t really bother cooking a proper meal or anything”

Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you have to eat gruel and tears in a dark corner while the happily paired eat grilled salmon and asparagus tips with wine.

Don’t think you can just act like YOU aren’t worth cooking for.

Time alone needs to be celebrated! Because time alone is time free of dumbfucks and inane chitty chatty bullshit.

The Sun is about joy and celebrating life – wherever you happen to find yourself.

Don’t wait for that “special someone” to show up so you can finally make yourself a decent, god damn meal. Do it NOW! And do it with flair and style…like I, Veronica would 😉

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How to Nix the Little Dictators in Your Life

7 Comments / April 2016, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / April 22, 2016

Veronica is my bad, Tarot reading twin. So bad in fact that she totally dropped the ball and forgot to write today’s blog post! So I’m recycling one of her older posts, but one of my faves. I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive her…..

Housewives Tarot

No, I’m not talking about your children, as the title might suggest. So don’t get all excited.

I’m talking about the MEDIA!

Media – TV, radio, movies, ads and other stupid shit – all dictate what you should be focusing your attention on.

Magazines dictate what you should be worried about…CELLULITE!

The Internet dictates what you should want….A FUCKING VITAMIX, ALREADY!

The News tells you who you should be afraid of….TERRORISTS!

And worst of all, movies dictate what constitutes “sexy”….MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY?! I beg to differ.

But YOU get to dictate how much you engage with the Media shit show.

The most rebellious thing you can do this weekend is switch off the media dictators in your life.

So don’t just spend your Saturday vegging out on the couch watching shows on Netflix again, okay? Unless of course that show is Spartacus. Then it doesn’t count.

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Laziness rarely leads to genocide

2 Comments / April 2016, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / April 15, 2016

Veronica is my nefarious Tarot reading twin who takes over my blog on Friday’s. She loves to write smut, travel the world and indulge in topless suntanning in inappropriate places. Today she is taking a moment out of her hectic schedule of massages, lunches and napping to write you this reading….

If you ever needed a good reason to be lazy, let me give you one.

All the world’s wars, genocides, atrocities, scientific horrors and environmental disasters are the result of over ambitious go getters who just couldn’t sit still and enjoy a fucking sunset.

And yet these industrious busy bodies get all the praise and ego stroking. Give me a break!

If the dipshit who built the atom bomb had thought “hmm….I think I’ll just lie in this hammock and listen to the birds” instead of getting all sciencey, we’d be living in a very different world.

Boring people say “oh, it’s greed that’s the underlying problem!” but they’re wrong, as usual. It’s the failure to enjoy being lazy that has got us into so much trouble.

What does this mean for you?

Don’t spend this weekend whizzing around doing stuff. Just chill. Sit in a bean bag chair and read dirty romance novels, stare at the clouds for hours or hang out on the deck and watch bugs – these are all high quality lazy activities that will enrich your life….and won’t destroy the planet.

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Spring has sprung…have you?

6 Comments / April 2016, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / April 8, 2016

Veronica is my debaucherous alter ego who is just like me only better. She thinks cats are better than kids, wine is better than water and naps are better than…well, everything!

the fool — The Fairytale Tarot by Karen Mahony

Spring is finally here! Tis the season for gardening, colon cleanses and all round zestyness!

Are there exciting new things on the horizon? No, probably not, but there is a renewed sense of excitement about the usual routine.

The Fool is about starting out fresh and travelling lightly. Unload all that crap you got for Christmas, give away your old clothes that totally suck now that a year has passed and revel in the feeling of …..less crap.

Dance freely in your living room to Tom Jones, skip like a lunatic through your neighborhood streets and roll around in dandelion patches.

Lame people will say “Spring is a time for re-evaluating goals…blah, blah”. Meh! Ignore that. Spring is a time for listening to the birds who have very special songs just for you if you’d put down your shitty iphone for five seconds and listen. Do it!

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What Happened to Lunch?!

6 Comments / April 2016, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / April 1, 2016

Veronica is my sexy, evil, witty Tarot reading twin sister and she is here to shake up your world and give you advice….real advice. The kind of advice that if followed, will make everyone hate you (and envy you). So hold onto your hat and let’s see what she has to say about the Ace of Cups…

Have you ever been excited to have lunch with a friend you haven’t seen in ages only to find out that she can only meet for one hour and doesn’t eat carbs anymore?

Ugh. Why do these people exist?

Lunches were meant for leisure, decandence and juicy gossip, not rushed affairs during which salads and water are consumed between soul numbing small talk. Fuck!

The refusal to enjoy a leisurely lunch is sick, unhealthy and deranged and it reflects our society’s obsession with the wrong things in life – getting things done, being responsible and not enjoying oneself.

The 30 min low fat, non-alcoholic lunch is the modern day hair shirt.

You need to rail against this social injustice immediately….invite a good friend to lunch and plan on spending a couple hours sipping wine, savoring your meal and indulging in dessert and cafe au lait afterwards.

Sit in the sun, flirt with the waiter and if your uptight friend insists on doing something horrid like rushing back to work, simply whip out an erotic novella to keep you company while you let that creme caramel melt in your mouth. Oh yeah.

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Find your own definition of “sexy”

10 Comments / March 2016, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / March 11, 2016

Veronica is my nefarious Tarot reading twin – she’s just like me except she drinks all day, loves offending people and honestly….she has way more fun! Let’s see what ridiculous advice she has for us today…

druidcraft tarot the star — Druidcraft Tarot

A few months ago I stopped shaving my armpits. Why? Because I think it’s sexy.

Although no one else does. Yet.

But just you wait – I think I’m onto something.

My point is this – The Star is all about relaxed sensuality, going with the forces of nature and just being all round chill.

My armpit hair wants to grow, so I let it. Go with the flow and don’t try to fight nature.

Our lame, predictable society tells us that we must constantly fight against nature in order to be sexy – like waxing all your body hair off, slathering nasty antiperspirant on your pits and ….well, come to think of it, most of this violence is against armpits.

Anyhow, not doing this stuff is a small act of rebellion and it feels divine! I’m not saying you should be hairy and smelly – maybe that’s not your thing, but just let go a little, don’t fight your body so much….

Even though we can’t really see it, I’m willing to be The Star has armpit hair…in fact, I’d bet my left pit stain on it!

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Group gift? Group off!

4 Comments / March 2016, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / March 4, 2016

Veronica is my evil Tarot reading twin. She’s here for a good time….for a long time…and she doesn’t care what others think. She goes topless on Canadian beaches (where everyone’s a prude), naps freely and thinks a mojito is a “green drink”….

Here’s a true story. The other day I was approached by a well meaning person who was organizing a “group gift” for an acquaintance who is getting married. Since I dislike marriage almost as much as I dislike buying other people gifts, I opted out.

My good twin Kate said “that’s terrible, everyone will think you’re a cold hearted bitch!”

To which I replied “but I am, so who cares?”

Now I know what you’re thinking: “Golly gosh, I wish I could be like Veronica and tell people to suck it when they ask for gift money, but I’m not a cold bitch, so I can’t.”

That’s where you’re wrong.

Inside everyone is a cold hearted bitch who doesn’t give two shits about Sandy in accounting getting married or Suzie having a baby. And why would you? That crap’s boring.

It’s time to let that part of yourself out of its cage for once. Sure, everyone might remember you as the one person who didn’t contribute to the group wedding gift, but NOBODY will remember you if you cough up the twenty bucks….and your self respect.

Be memorable, be a bitch… and save your pennies for a new sex toy or a bottle of Organic Prosecco. Your Self Respect will thank you.

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Ideas, ideas….now act!

2 Comments / February 2016, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / February 26, 2016

Veronica Noir is the Daily Tarot Girl’s evil twin. She is a new age vamp who bellydances, reads Tarot and eats men for breakfast. Let’s see what diabolical advice she has for us today…

Believe it or not, but you’ve had some ideas lately. Some may even call them “brilliant”. Although personally, I think that’s a bit of a stretch.

They’re okay. Your ideas are okay. In fact, they are pretty darn decent.

But if you don’t act on your ideas, they become like farts on the wind. Like a dream that you remember when you awaken but don’t bother writing down….your ideas are in danger of fading away, never to be remembered again.

Do something dammit! Take action!

That yellow angel on the unicorn isn’t just mucking about with that lightning bolt – he means business! And its time you began taking yourself (and your ideas) more seriously.

Write it all down, make little mini-action steps and for heaven’s sake, don’t let other people’s ridiculous opinions pollute your mind. This week is about YOUR ideas!

Update: My laptop is still in the shop getting fixed! This is why I haven’t yet posted this weeks reading – all my software for uploading videos is on that laptop. So I am really hoping I will have it back by tomorrow so I can upload the next weeks reading! Fear not….I will be back! And thanks so much for your patience 🙂

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Gratitude Schmatidude!

1 Comment / February 2016, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / February 19, 2016

Veronica is my sassy, foul-mouthed twin and she’s here to inject some fabulousness into your life! Let’s see what she has to say about the Nine of Pentacles….

gilded-tarot-nine-of-pentacles — Gilded Tarot

When you go off looking for the good stuff, you’re likely to find it.

The Nine of Pentacles is all about total enjoyment of your surroundings. And you can start by noticing what’s awesome about your life right now.

No, I’m not going to say “make a gratitude list, be grateful for what you have,” because YUCK! who wants to hear that?

Personally, I’ve had enough of preachy spiritual types telling me to practice “gratitude”. They can suck it.

But I love to appreciate the good things in life – like shutting off my alarm clock and going back to sleep when it’s dark and rainy outside. Or the feel of two boy-toys massaging my feet while the third one feeds me profiteroles. Or just knowing that my kindle has nearly 1,000 filthy unread novels waiting for me….

It’s the simple things, really.

So if you want to make your life more fabulous, make a list.

No, not a gratitude list. Call it a “Delicious List” and list everything in your life that is deliciously wonderful.

Then just sit back and let the good times roll….

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