I can’t believe it is already JULY! Time is just flying by. For this weeks reading I am using my Fairy cards – for some reason I just felt like something light and fun 🙂
Have a fantastic week!
xoxo
Kate
Fairy Card Reading for July 4 – 10th Read More »
Tsk, tsk! My evil alter ego Veronica has slept in again and is only getting around to writing this NOW – at noon on a friday! This better be good….
Time is precious – especially yours. Yet corporations, governments and individual assholes constantly waste it.
I’m talking about complicated recycling rules, being put on hold and having to select bullshit options from a confusing robotic telephone menu, spam emails and of course…..telemarketers and scam callers.
The time has come to take back your power and start fucking with the system. Next time a telemarketer calls you, keep them on the line. Ask inane questions, pretend to be fascinated and if they sounds sexy, flirt a little – just see where it goes.
If a company pisses you off and wastes your time DO NOT get all huffy and threaten to withdraw your business – that’s classic whiny bitch stuff that doesn’t scare anyone. Remain a kind, polite client but become needy. Start asking for discounts and special perks – relax and have fun with it and see what happens.
If someone starts wasting your time but you turn it around and start wasting theirs, do you somehow get back your own precious time that’s been wasted? No. But you’ll be having way more fun!
And time spent enjoying oneself in nefarious ways is time well spent, indeed!
Here’s a great video that inspired me to write this post:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QdPW8JrYzQ
Start wasting people’s time! Read More »
Veronica is my evil tarot reading twin. Each friday she graces us with her presence and offers up her best advice.
Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffin
Everyone wants “transformation”!
If you’ve ever been to a life coach’s website or even a new agey site, you will see the word “transformation” splattered all over it, like seagull crap on a pier.
But what IS “transformation”? Simple answer: DEATH!
Oh, so you want to “transform” your life? No, you want your old self to die off.
Do you want to “transform” your thinking? No, you want to murder your negative thoughts.
So why does everyone go around saying “blah blah blah, transformational, blah blah, bullshit, bullshit, blab”?
Because Death is the low effort option, whereas Transformation sounds like a lot of exhausting, hard work, which most average dumbfucks looooove. Or at least love to talk about.
So this weekend, ask yourself: “what old habits would l like to lay to rest?”
OR “what part of my life would l like to have a mini funeral for?”
OR “what aspects of myself would l like to violently shank to death and then forcibly reincarnate as something entirely different?” oh, wait, that sounds more like “transformation”. Nevermind!
“Transformation” is so 2012… but Death is forever cool! Read More »
Veronica is my evil, Tarot reading twin. She loves to write smut, travel the world and sun-tan topless in inappropriate places. Today she decided to recycle one of her readings from last year because deep down she just knows you’re too blitzed to notice…
Housewives Tarot
You know what? You’re a STAR!
Why? You just are!
Now it’s time to celebrate yourself.
But not in a lame, sissy-pants way like taking a bubble bath or eating a piece of chocolate cake.
You should be doing that stuff anyway – as a regular part of life.
Celebrate by taking yourself on a hot date.
Treat yourself to an exquisite lunch. Order copious amounts of champagne and things containing dairy, gluten and refined sugar – but wear one of those fancy-lady scarves so you can strategically camouflage your gut as you bask in hedonistic splendor!
Make sure you arm yourself with today’s newspaper and while your waiting for your food, scrawl a Hitler stash on everyone you don’t like the looks of. This will provide you with hours of divine amusement and laughter!
Ahhh, this is what “self-love” really feels like.
Tell me….how will you celebrate YOU this weekend?
“Self Love”: Not Just a Euphemism for Masturbation Read More »
International Woman of Leisure by day, whipcracking Dominatrix by night! Veronica is my evil twin and she took a quick break from eating bon bons to write you this tidbit of tasty advice. So listen up and take notes!
Everyone loves a demanding bitch and don’t let any mamsy pamsy, pastel sweater wearer tell you otherwise.
Deluded people everywhere will say they just want to find a nice man or woman, but they don’t. They secretly long for a demanding jerk who will tell them what’s what.
Never underestimate the allure of a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask, or better yet demand!
Possibly the most heartbreaking moment in my entire life was when someone wrote “I think you’re really nice” on a farewell card for me. I was crushed. Where had I gone wrong?
So if you’re they type of person who doesn’t say anything when your in a restaurant and there’s a window open and it’s blowing a freezing cold breeze on your dainty toes…start speaking up and bitching about it.
If you’re the type of person who says “I’m good with whatever you want to do,” for fucksakes, STOP IT!!!! No one likes a wishy washy opinionless twat.
This weekend, say what you want. Bitch about something. Demand something. Have an opinion. And then sit back and watch as hot men everywhere fall at your feet.
Being “nice”: the biggest sin of all Read More »
I had the joy and pleasure of sitting down for a Tarot chat with Tarot author extraordinaire Benebell Wen.
Join us as we discuss:
♥ Is Tarot safe?
♥ Fluffy oracle decks VS “hardcore” Tarot decks
♥ Why have some religions demonized Tarot?
♥ Reading for others: intuition vs Tarot knowledge
♥ Benebell’s new book!
and so much more….
Visit Benebell’s website: https://benebellwen.com
Find Benebell on Twitter: https://twitter.com/tarotanalysis
Get Benebell’s book Holistic Tarot on Amazon.
I first interviewed Benebell a year and a half ago! Watch that interview right here.
Talking Tarot with Benebell Wen Read More »
Veronica is my evil twin sister who spends her days flirting with 20-year-old boys, suntanning topless on public beaches and saying NO to charities….she needs that money for martinis! Let’s see what evil advice she has for us today…
Osho Zen Tarot
Today’s Tarot card is Participation (aka Four of Wands).
When I was in elementary school, my teachers were always blathering on and on about “participation.” As in “Veronica, why aren’t you participating?”
Well, for starters I don’t participate in things that are stupid (like dodgeball) and I certainly don’t participate in things just because generic rule followers request it of me.
So take a look at your life today and notice what kinds of things you’re participating in. Do you enjoy it? Does it bring you satisfaction? Or are you doing it to appease someone?
For example, do you participate in donating to the charity of the week when you’re going through the checkout at Costco? Is it because you want to? Or is it because you’re worried that if you don’t, all those hot dog munchers behind you will think you’re a heartless bitch?
Participation is wonderful when it brings people together and diabolical when it forces you to just go through the motions for fear of being ostracized !
Participation is for wimps Read More »
Veronica Noir is one of the world’s greatest Tarot readers…and she is also my evil twinsies! She is single, diabolical and on fire – travelling the world reading Tarot, seducing young men and running naked on the beach! Let’s see what advice she has today…
You know what I’m tired of?
Hearing people, I mean women, say things like “Oh, it’s just me so I don’t really bother cooking a proper meal or anything”
Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you have to eat gruel and tears in a dark corner while the happily paired eat grilled salmon and asparagus tips with wine.
Don’t think you can just act like YOU aren’t worth cooking for.
Time alone needs to be celebrated! Because time alone is time free of dumbfucks and inane chitty chatty bullshit.
The Sun is about joy and celebrating life – wherever you happen to find yourself.
Don’t wait for that “special someone” to show up so you can finally make yourself a decent, god damn meal. Do it NOW! And do it with flair and style…like I, Veronica would 😉
Cooking for one….is not a f**king tragedy Read More »
Veronica is my nefarious Tarot reading twin who takes over my blog on Friday’s. She loves to write smut, travel the world and indulge in topless suntanning in inappropriate places. Today she is taking a moment out of her hectic schedule of massages, lunches and napping to write you this reading….
If you ever needed a good reason to be lazy, let me give you one.
All the world’s wars, genocides, atrocities, scientific horrors and environmental disasters are the result of over ambitious go getters who just couldn’t sit still and enjoy a fucking sunset.
And yet these industrious busy bodies get all the praise and ego stroking. Give me a break!
If the dipshit who built the atom bomb had thought “hmm….I think I’ll just lie in this hammock and listen to the birds” instead of getting all sciencey, we’d be living in a very different world.
Boring people say “oh, it’s greed that’s the underlying problem!” but they’re wrong, as usual. It’s the failure to enjoy being lazy that has got us into so much trouble.
What does this mean for you?
Don’t spend this weekend whizzing around doing stuff. Just chill. Sit in a bean bag chair and read dirty romance novels, stare at the clouds for hours or hang out on the deck and watch bugs – these are all high quality lazy activities that will enrich your life….and won’t destroy the planet.
Laziness rarely leads to genocide Read More »
Veronica is my debaucherous alter ego who is just like me only better. She thinks cats are better than kids, wine is better than water and naps are better than…well, everything!
Spring is finally here! Tis the season for gardening, colon cleanses and all round zestyness!
Are there exciting new things on the horizon? No, probably not, but there is a renewed sense of excitement about the usual routine.
The Fool is about starting out fresh and travelling lightly. Unload all that crap you got for Christmas, give away your old clothes that totally suck now that a year has passed and revel in the feeling of …..less crap.
Dance freely in your living room to Tom Jones, skip like a lunatic through your neighborhood streets and roll around in dandelion patches.
Lame people will say “Spring is a time for re-evaluating goals…blah, blah”. Meh! Ignore that. Spring is a time for listening to the birds who have very special songs just for you if you’d put down your shitty iphone for five seconds and listen. Do it!
Spring has sprung…have you? Read More »
