I’ve decided to try something a little different for my weekly readings and read just one card for the week (instead of three). Let me know what you think!!!
Have a great week 🙂
Kate
Tarot Reading for March 2 – 8 Read More »
Veronica is my evil, Tarot reading twin and she’s one sick puppy. She abhors the idea of saving for retirement, thinks university is for suckers and goes braless to Jazzercise class. Good God, we are such opposites! But I love her so much…
Are you planning for the future?
WELL STOP!
It’s not good for you. Seriously. Leave that kind of stuff to people who are dead on the inside.
Possibly the stupidest question I’ve ever been asked is “where do you see yourself in five years?”
I’m still trying to think of the most offensive way to answer that one!
If you’ve ever found yourself worrying about RSPs, your health 20 years from now, dying alone, your career trajectory or pumping out spawn, take heart. You are not alone.
And this is the only thing that sets us apart from wild animals! Rwawar!
But don’t put a bunch of importance on your future.
Plan for it in the same way you might plan to make a little extra stir-fry for dinner tonight so you can have the leftovers for lunch tomorrow. Or how you might wax your crack before a hot date….just in case!
In other words, don’t make “planning for the future” your life’s work, but consider how it could make your life a bit easier.
Now tell me….what is your stupidest answer to the stupidest question: “where you do see yourself in five years?”
Planning for the future? Don’t! Read More »
Veronica is my Tarot reading twin. She’s just like me except she’s bad, slutty and has way more fun! When she’s in between spa appointments and sex cruises, she’s kind enough to devote her spare time to writing these Friday readings. Enjoy!….
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and The Empress is here to tell you how to make the most of it.
As you can see, The Empress is all about nurturing…and having great knockers.
And that is what Valentine’s Day is all about!
Nurture yourself today. Secretly send yourself flowers and smutty Valentines at work and read them aloud to co-workers!
If you’re in a relationship, secretly send yourself flowers and smutty Valentines and read then aloud to your partner. His/her loins will be aflame with jealousy!
Valentines is all about heart shaped caramels, deceit and overpriced roses that don’t actually smell like roses for some reason.
You don’t want to miss out on this.
In the comments below, tell me how you plan to celebrate Valentine’s Day this weekend….
Veronica’s naughty ideas for Valentine’s Day! Read More »
Veronica Noir, my evil counterpart, is too busy lounging on a yacht in the Hawaiian Islands – surrounded by glistening boy-toys – to write today’s reading. So I’ve taken an old reading from a year ago and I’m totally recycling it. God, what would Veronica think? She hates people who recycle.
You are a multifaceted creature – never forget it! That is what The World is sayin’ to me today.
There are many different aspects to your personality and who you are, so don’t let yourself get pigeonholed into any silly “roles” or “personas” – the world is wide open!
Lets take a gander at this card, shall we? The naked lady in the center is dancing inside an ovally, egg shaped space – and if that’s not blatant vagina symbolism, well then I don’t know what is! And she grasps a phallic object in each hand (lucky bitch).
There is something wonderfully hermaphroditic about The World and its message is that you must be both receptive and active in order to truly be Queen (or King) of your surroundings.
Make a to-do list AND meditate. Let go of trying to control everything AND make a plan of action. Say YES to things that make you feel open and free (like a trip to Vegas!) and NO to things that make you want to crawl back in bed (like a friend’s boring baby-shower).
You get the idea! Open yourself to the world by opening up to all aspects of yourself without judgement.
Veronica’s advice: Skip the babyshower and go to Vegas Read More »
Veronica Noir, The Daily Tarot Girl’s evil counterpart, is here to kick some sense into you with her uncompassionate style of Tarot reading. She usually writes these half-drunk, so take her advice with a grain of salt…or a tablespoon!
Today’s card is 4 of Pentacles and the message is clear: magic doesn’t happen in the comfort zone.
Yes, I know, the comfort zone is awesome. I love it too.
There is nothing I love more than snuggling on my couch, sipping spiked hot chocolate and watching The Vampire Diaries or some other silly show.
But does it make me feel ALIVE? No. Fuck no.
We all need to rest and recharge, I get it. That’s what the comfort zone is for. But don’t stay there forever – you weren’t meant to, for God’s sake!
It’s time for you to bust out from behind your wall and share your sparkly goodies with the world.
You hide yourself out of fear, you modest thing, you! But once you step out of your comfort zone, something amazing happens….your comfort zone gets bigger and bigger and bigger…..
Until suddenly you’re doing nude yoga at your local park and feeling totally cool with it.
In the comments below, tell me how you plan to step out of your comfort zone this weekend…
Four of Pentacles: Time to bust out of your comfort zone! Read More »
Veronica is my evil twin and Tarot reader extraordinaire. She is here to extract the wisdom of the Tarot and inject it into your daily life….all while talking nasty and being a total bitch.
You know what? You don’t have to set any more fucking goals from now on.
You don’t have to become your “best self” or improve or aim higher.
Leave that shit to Tony Robbins.
You’re good just the way you are.
Do you feel a weight lifting off your shoulders now? Do you feel a little less exhausted?
That’s because goals and dreams can drag you down. Oh sure, at first they seem to lift you up – just like cocaine.
You feel all zippy when you paste together your vision board. You’re overcome by that heady assumption that the universe is your bitch and you can just order shit up like at a drive thru.
But then time passes and realization hits you – your vision board is nothing but a shit festival of broken dreams – a beautiful pictographic representation of all the things you’ve failed to achieve this year.
So give yourself a break! Enjoy the NOW. Scrap all your goal books and dreamboards and all other future-oriented crapolla. Your perfect as you are right now.
Your welcome.
Goals are for dorks. Veronica says burn your vision board! Read More »
I am just going to come right out and say it….
The surefire way to get confused as f*ck is to ask your Tarot deck Yes/No questions.
In my opinion, Yes/No questions + the Tarot just don’t mix. The Tarot is an amazing tool for inquiring about things and making discoveries. But it is total shit at answering Yes/No questions.
I know, I know, it’s so tempting to ask. I do it all the time. Even though I know that Yes/No questions never really work well with Tarot, I ask them all the time….and I always end up confused and frustrated.
Here’s my take on it – the Tarot is a reflection of the world around you. If you study your deck closely you will see that all the archetypes, emotions, everyday challenges and joys are all depicted in the Tarot.
Our world is complex, messy, interconnected and bursting with colour, sensation and vibration. We don’t live in a black and white world where everything is distinct, separate, clean and neat. And Yes/No questions are black and white.
All you need to do is rephrase your Yes/No Tarot question.
For example, if I want to ask “should I seduce my 19 year old neighbor, yes or no?” I could rephrase it as “how do you feel about me seducing my 19 year old neighbor?” (in this case the you could refer to your higher self, the universe, your spirit guides – whoever it is your trying to communicate with via your Tarot deck)
Asking open ended questions when working with your Tarot cards will make for much better readings and less confusion.
Let me demonstrate this concept a little more….
Today I asked my Tarot deck “should I take a month off to travel around Costa Rica in 2015? Yes or no?” and I pulled the Seven of Pentacles from the Anna K Tarot deck:
I was confused at first. Does this mean “yes, but be patient” or does it mean “no, you should be focusing on work”?
So I rephrased my question and asked “How do you feel about me taking a month off to travel around Costa Rica in 2015?” and then I took another look at this card.
Suddenly, it all seemed very clear! A few months ago I planted some seeds (aka started some projects) and those “seeds” have taken root and are beginning to sprout. If I go away now, those shoots will die from neglect. I need to tend to my garden (garden = my life and my creative/business projects) first and once things are more established, then I can take off for a month. I need to be patient now – patient with my projects and business and patient because I will get to go to Costa Rica eventually, just not right now.
So not only did I understand that the answer to my question was NO, I could see the reasons why it was a no and what I needed to focus on in the meantime.
Here are some other ways to rephrase your Yes/No Tarot questions:
1. What is the potential of ___________________?
For example, “should I accept this job offer? Yes or No?” becomes “what is the potential of accepting this job offer?”
2. How would I feel if I ________________?
For example, “should I sell my house now?” becomes “how would I feel if I sold my house now?”
3. What would be the outcome of ____________ vs ____________?
For example, “should I marry Bob or Dave?” becomes “what would be the outcome of marrying Bob?” – draw a card – “vs marrying Dave?” – draw a second card.
What Yes/No question do you have for your Tarot cards? Try one of my alternate rephrases and see how it goes! Feel free to share all about it in the comments below 🙂
Asking YES/NO Questions with Your Tarot Cards Read More »
Veronica is my evil Tarot reading twin. She enjoys sneaking in dirty gifts at her workplace’s Secret Santa party, avoiding shopping malls and buying herself lavish gifts on Amazon.com. Let’s read her advice for the holiday season….
Meditation is like telling your mind to shut the fuck up.
And this card, Silence (aka The Star) is telling you to do just that.
During the holiday season, your mind is probably all like “what should I take to the party? when will I get all my shopping done? What am I going to buy for this person and that person?”
Don’t buy anyone anything this year. It’s all going to end up in a landfill in a couple of years anyway.
Give the gift of silence this Christmas.
Instead of presents, how about presence?
Gosh, I’m witty!
But what this card’s really saying is take some time out from all the pointless parties, socializing with irritating family members and horrific shopping excursions and connect with the deepest part of yourself.
This will allow you to be fully present at your next nightmare inducing social gathering so you won’t have to chug dirty martinis all night just to get through it.
Although, that doesn’t sound so bad after all!
Radical holiday ideas from Veronica Read More »
Veronica is my evil twin. I let her write on my blog only on Fridays. She is a part time Tarot reader, full time gangster of fabulousness. While you can find her many places…you won’t find her volunteering, attending lame office Christmas parties or pretending to like children…
Today’s card is Laziness (aka Nine of Cups) from the Osho Zen Tarot.
Laziness – it’s the greatest taboo in our culture while simultaneously being dangled in our faces like a carrot called “retirement”.
Don’t put off rest and relaxation for when your retired – that’s one of those creepy ideas that the social control system churns out to trick you into working yourself to death.
Laziness is a fine art which requires practice, practice, practice!
So if you don’t master it now, don’t expect to retire and “poof!” suddenly be able to just sit back and chill out while binge watching old episodes of The Vampire Diaries on Netflix. It just won’t happen.
But hear me when I say laziness is a fine art. You have to be careful not to overdo it.
Laziness, while artfully done, always feels good, nourishing and a little bit naughty. But if it makes you feel de-motivated, irritable and hating all of humanity, then you’ve fucked up big time.
So this weekend….be a bit lazy. And if some twit says “keeping busy?” when they run into you on the street, say “NO” and watch what happens!
Veronica shows you how to be lazy… Read More »
Veronica is my sassy, foul-mouthed twin and she’s here to inject some fabulousness into your life! Let’s see what she has to say about the Nine of Pentacles….
When you go off looking for the good stuff, you’re likely to find it.
The Nine of Pentacles is all about total enjoyment of your surroundings. And you can start by noticing what’s awesome about your life right now.
No, I’m not going to say “make a gratitude list, be grateful for what you have,” because YUCK! who wants to hear that?
Personally, I’ve had enough of preachy spiritual types telling me to practice “gratitude”. They can suck it.
But I love to appreciate the good things in life – like shutting off my alarm clock and going back to sleep when it’s dark and rainy outside. Or the feel of two boy-toys massaging my feet while the third one feeds me profiteroles. Or just knowing that my kindle has nearly 1,000 filthy unread novels waiting for me….
It’s the simple things, really.
So if you want to make your life more fabulous, make a list.
No, not a gratitude list. Call it a “Delicious List” and list everything in your life that is deliciously wonderful.
Then just sit back and let the good times roll….
Notice the Good Shit! Read More »
