veronica noir

Goddess Advice for Friday!

fridays with veronicaVeronica Noir is my batshit crazy twin sister. She is just like me except she’s brilliant, has no sense of guilt or shame, speaks her mind and does whatever she wants, when she wants! Kind of like a psychopath….but with a heart of gold. Oh, and she also reads Tarot…

Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue
Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue

Happy Friday!

The Goddess Sige is here to tell you to “shut the f*ck up!”

Oh wait, that’s not was she’s saying….she says “take some quiet time alone to rest, meditate and contemplate.”

She’s not just referring to physical chitter chatter, either. The more you quite your inner blatherings, the more in-touch with your divinity you will be.

Take a nap this weekend. Isloate yourself and ignore friends and family. They only distract you from achieving pure nirvana.

Your ego hates it when you get quiet! Remember that. Whenever you meditate, you are annoying the living crap out of your ego.

This fact alone can make meditation a more enjoyable, deliciously mischievous experience 😉

The Knight of Rods says “Go for it!”

fridays with veronicaVeronica is my evil twin. She’s a sassy psychic with a flair for penning filthy short stories, online shopping and peanut butter fudge. When she’s not busy reading werewolf erotica and getting drunk on Kombucha tea, she’s writing this column….

knight of rods
Anna K Tarot

Today’s Tarot card is the Knight of Rods. Tee hee hee! Rods!

This manly man rockin’ the chain-mail seems to be erecting some sort of flag. He’s gearing up to stab in into the ground, penetrating the Earth in his proclamation of ownership. Similar to a dog peeing on a fire hydrant.

What are you proud of? What do you stand for?

Today is the day to celebrate it and own it.

Mark your territory. Pee on something. Make it yours!

This weekend is all about going after what you want with a fiery, blazing, possessive passion. Whether your after a new lover, a fancy-dancy career or something more bizarre, the message is clear:

Go for it!

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fridays with veronicaVeronica is my immoral other half. She is my wild and slutty evil twin/alter ego and when she isn’t travelling the world, doing nude yoga and slamming back martini’s, she’s dishing out Tarot wisdom for you right here…

the high priestess
Housewives Tarot

Today’s Tarot advice comes from The High Priestess.

She says “Shhhhhh….keep your secrets.”

This particularly applies to relationships of a romantic nature.

Certain marriage “experts” (cough, Dr. Phil, cough) will tell you that you must never keep secrets from your significant other and that true intimacy means sharing everything.

Yuck. No thanks.

If you want your life to have a certain robust, saucy flavour, you need to have some secrets.

So stop being so darn honest and “transparent” as the therapy-types like to say.

Don’t have any secrets? No problem! Create them. Take a young lover, start drinking in the daytime (if you don’t already) or stop wearing underpants.

You’ll be rocking that Mona Lisa smirk in no time!

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Four of Pents – Don’t Hoard Your Goodies!

fridays with veronicaVeronica is the Daily Tarot Girl’s evil twin. She spends her days eating bon bons, writing smut, and prowling around the neighborhood for younger men. Oh, and she also reads Tarot…

four of pentacles
Housewives Tarot

Are you saving the fine china for “guests”? Are your lamp shades covered in plastic? Do you have protective coverings on your car seats? Well, knock it off! That’s totally lame!

The Four of Pentacles suggests you just may be hoarding the best parts of yourself for later. But there is no later! There is only NOW!

Of course, you are feeling all delicate about really busting loose and putting yourself out there. Just look at the face of that woman/cabinet. She is thinking “oh no, not the good china! It may get chipped or broken.”

Don’t be such a wimp. You have shiny, awesome things inside you – not literally, but metaphorically. Unless you’ve been eating jewelery. So share the best parts of yourself with others and don’t hold back.

And while your at it, take the plastic off your lampshades because it makes your living room look like Sears!