Veronica Noir - Daily Tarot Girl

Six of Cups shows you how to play…

Veronica is a free spirited tramp who loves to eavesdrop in coffee shops, lead young men astray and of course…read Tarot! Since she’s my evil twin/alter ego, I let her spew her mystical ramblings every Friday on my blog…

6 of cups hezicos — Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffin

When was the last time you engaged yourself in the spirit of play?

When you were six?

This particular Six of Cups reminds me of all the times I have visited the beach and observed children absorbed in adventurous play….

While their parent just sits there – a grumbling, defeated lump on the beach – affixed to their iphone.

This weekend, get outside and play…

Write scandalous messages in the sand, draw body tracings with chalk (like someone was just murdered in your driveway) and paint pictures of little unicorns and butterflies on your face!

Sure, your friends and neighbors will deem you mentally unstable but who cares? You will feel ALIVE!

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Just Be Yourself! Aka “how to be a bitch 101”

Veronica is the Daily Tarot Girl’s twin and a truly horrible person. When she isn’t busy turning down charities and glaring at babies, you will find her writing these Friday blog posts…doing her best to totally ruin your life…

Today’s message is “BE YOURSELF“!

This is great advice…unless your a complete asshole, in which case please don’t be yourself.

But I am sure if your reading my blog, your an okay character 😉

So this card says “this situation calls for you to be your authentic self, which is the basis for your personal power.”

That’s all well and good…..but don’t forget the fact that your entire life has basically consisted of military grade training in how to be inauthentic.

People say “just be yourself!” like its as easy as sneezing in a library book or farting on a treadmill.

But it’s not!

So this weekend, I want you to practice “being yourself” and then notice the delicious chaos that results.

Here’s a true story…

Yesterday, while entering my local grocery store, a group of children congregating outside the entrance asked me for a donation to some stupid sports related thing.

In their innocent, high pitched voices they said “would you like to donate to…”

“NO!” I said and marched past them.

Now your probably thinking Veronica, why so evil?

Well, because I would rather involve myself in making the world a better place in a way that has personal meaning to me. If I donate to a cause I don’t really care about, I would only be doing it out of fear of looking like a bitch if I didn’t. Totally inauthentic!

So pay attention to when you do (or don’t do) things out of fear of what others may think.

This is the key to being more “authentic” – and trust me, it’s waaaaay harder than farting on a treadmill.

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The Eight of Swords is Kinky!

7 Comments / August 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / August 8, 2014

Veronica Noir, The Daily Tarot Girl’s evil counterpart, is here to kick some sense into you with her uncompassionate style of Tarot reading. She usually writes these half-drunk, so take her advice with a grain of salt…or a tablespoon!

Now here is the lady of the Eight of Swords looking like a character in one of those kinky romance novels I have been reading on my filthy little Kindle.

And just like those masochistic heroines, this dame actually enjoys her sense of limitation and blindness.

So I ask you this…

Are you getting off on your perceived handicaps?

Are you relishing the feel of powerlessness?

Do you secretly enjoy complaining to friends about stuff?

Well, snap out of it!

While your busy writhing around in miserable ecstasy waiting for a knight in shining armor to save you, your life is passing you by!

So untie yourself, lift the blindfold and….yes, I know! Then you will actually have to take responsibility for your life.

But seriously – break out of your silly little mind prison and run free on the grassy knoll of life!

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The Star tells you how to chill out…

6 Comments / August 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / August 1, 2014

Veronica is my evil, tarot reading twin. Her readings are sassy and inappropriate – just like her personality! Let us see what perverted meaning she gives The Star…

God, I f*cking LOVE The Star!

Know why?

Because she’s a chilled out naked chick by a river, who seems to not have a care in the world. What’s not to love?

The Star has popped into your world today to tell you that you need to RELAX!

Nothing really matters as much as you think it does.

This lovely lady knows a secret – in order to go through life with her laid back attitude, you cannot cling to anything.

Let go of rigid beliefs like I must wear a bra when I venture out in public.

Let go of resentments like my neighbor is a first rate wanker for raking his gravel driveway every morning at 7am and blowing his leaf blower each evening from 7-9pm and basically ruining my life.

Let go of attachment to your possessions – your Egyptian cotton sheets and Vitamix blender don’t enhance your life as much as you think.

On second thought, maybe they do…

Let go of your expectations of people. Especially your children and romantic partner. People are weird and imperfect and that’s that.

And most of all, let go of your idea of “how things should be”.

The Star is dumping out both jugs and she’s naked. She doesn’t cling to anything. Because she doesn’t need to. The world is her oyster and it can be yours too!

So now you just need to get nude.

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Get Wet Today! Veronica’s Advice for your Weekend…

6 Comments / July 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / July 25, 2014

Veronica Noir is an anarchist, International woman of mystery, banana bread lover, frantic scrawler of smut and just happens to be my evil twin/alter ego. And that sneaky little witch has gotten into my Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards again…..

The goddess Sulis is here to tell you to “Spend time near water, such as a lake, river, or the ocean, to recharge your batteries.”

OR…..

Get drunk in the bathtub!

But in all seriousness, you really need to drag your ass over to some water. Preferably loud, roaring water like a ferocious river so that your incessant thoughts and the voices of dumbf*cks all around you will be droned out.

There’s something very rejuvenating about massive bodies of water. Have you noticed this?

Your life could be a total shitstorm, but spend a few minutes gazing out at the sea or floating in a lake and you’re all like what was my problem again?

Also, we can learn a lot from water. Water flows. Obstacles be damned. Water is powerful. It’s everywhere. Still water gets slimy and scuzzy.

What kind of body of water are YOU? Are you a raging river, a torrential downpour, a still, calm lake or a magnificent ocean?

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The Fool says….f**k being “busy”!

7 Comments / July 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / July 18, 2014

Veronica is my badass alter ego and she is here to give you some tough love advice on a Friday. What better way to kick off the weekend?

“Travel lightly, bitch!” says the coiffed lady of The Fool.

At first glance you may think she’s a real dip-shit, letting the contents of her purse scatter to and fro, but look closely. She is just lightening the load.

Now is the time to lighten your load. Get rid of some shit.

The idiots you know and love will tell you that more leads to a meaningful life – more money, more work, a bigger house, a big family, lots of friends, pets, cars, clothes, stuff, shoes, more crap, luggage, things, fancy kitchen utensils, fake tits, social events, aaaaahhhhh!

These same dicks will ask you things like “keeping busy?” whilst nodding vigoriously. You must answer “yes” or face their awkward, blank look of confusion.

This weekend, think less is more.

Think busyness is crazyness.

Don’t be busy. Clear the clutter. Mmmmm…..zen! Now your free.

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The secret ingredient to a decadent lifestyle…

12 Comments / July 2014, Uncategorized, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / July 11, 2014

Veronica is my evil twin and I let her scrawl her silliness all over my blog every Friday. Her readings are deep, insightful and full of penis innuendos. Let’s see what nonsense advice she has for you today…

Just like a spectator at an orgy, the fancy lady of the Nine of Pentacles reclines with ease and luxuriously nibbles on grapes!

Do you wish you could be this fancy lady?

Guess what? You can!

All you need is a falcon, some head jewels and the understanding that everything feels more decadent when you just sit back, relax and eat grapes.

If the kids are fighting this weekend, don’t intervene. Sit back, relax and eat some grapes. Pretend your watching gladiators in a Roman coliseum.

Friends boring you with tiresome, detailed stories about their latest vacation? Sit back, relax and eat grapes. Indulge in a lurid sex fantasy about Daniel Craig. Your friends won’t even know!

Can’t stand the thought of cooking dinner for your in-laws on Sunday night? Fuck it. Sit back, relax and eat grapes. Order pizza.

So there you have it. A plan for your weekend!

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Veronica’s advice for your weekend…

7 Comments / July 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / July 4, 2014

Veronica is my bad to the bone alter ego and she is here to slap some sense into you today! She took time out of her hectic day of relaxing, rejuvenating and re-energizing to write you this reading – so you’d better listen up and take her advice…

“DON’T BACK DOWN!”

That’s what the Goddess Brigit is sayin’ to you right now.

Don’t let others manhandle you into doing stupid shit you don’t want to do this weekend. Stick to your guns.

If you set the intention to paint and meditate this weekend, and your most boring friend says “hey, lets go traipsing around stores all day long and buy a bunch of pointless crap,” you have to say NO!

Yes, people will try to drag you into their nonsense all weekend long if you let them.

Horrid family barbeques and tiresome fundraising events will consume your life if you’re not careful….so bring out your inner bitch – I mean Brigit – and start laying down the law.

You’ve got some serious shit to do this weekend and can’t be sidetracked by willy-nilly-nancies who wish to frittle away the day!

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Naughty Tarot Advice for the Weekend!

11 Comments / June 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / June 27, 2014

Veronica is my evil alter ego and she takes over my blog every friday. When she’s not looking at every Tarot card through a perverted lens, she’s getting bat-shit drunk on her balcony, reading trashy novels and eye-molesting every cute young boy toy that walks by. What oh what will she say this week?…

judgement-hezicos-tarot — Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffin

Happy Friday! Today’s Tarot card is Judgment.

Look closely and it would appear this mermaid is totally blowing something! A shell-flute – she’s blowing a shell-flute.

So the question is: what are you blowing this weekend?

Wait! That sounds filthy. Let me make it more spiritual for you.

What tune are you playing? What music are you making? What frequency are you vibrating at?

Because whatever your doing, your always broadcasting a frequency or energy of some sort. That energy is like a calling to other beings, things and experiences.

We’ve all heard those spiritually smug people say things like “what you do comes back to you, blah, blah” but that’s only part of the story.

So today, notice what horn are you blowing out to the world – what are you broadcasting?

And just be damn sure its hot, sexy and delicious tune!

Naughty Tarot Advice for the Weekend! Read More »

The Four of Rods – Stay Home This Weekend!

9 Comments / June 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / June 20, 2014

Veronica is a voracious man eater, tarot reader, cat lover and my evil twin/alter ego. She talks like a sailor, slinks about like Catwoman and always has some deliciously subversive advice for you! So without further ado…I bring you Veronica Noir!

The Four of Rods is here to tell you to spend some time enjoying your hearth and home this weekend.

Delight yourself by doing boring crap like baking stuff in the oven. You know, like cinnamon buns and shit like that.

Wear an apron.

Clean things.

Make a fu*king pie!

But here’s the catch – don’t plan anything this weekend. Especially if you did a whole bunch of “stuff” last weekend. Have a couple of “home days” to yourself.

Genius and spiritual unfoldment do not arise from busy-ness and rushing about doing pointless things. Trust me!

But take the time to have a glass of wine and make some sort of horrid baked good – and you just might find yourself discovering the meaning of life in the process.

Or you might just find yourself mildly drunk. Either way, it’s a nice time 🙂

Hay House, Inc.

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