July 2014

Tarot Quiz! What Suit Are You?

Do you remember when you were 13 and you would spend hours doing those stupid quizzes in teen magazines?

I remember one lazy Summer day in particular when I laid up in my friends tree fort with a pile of Seventeen magazines and we quizzed each other on crucial topics like Does your crush like you?, Which hollywood hearthrob should I date? and What your shoes say about you…

I thought I would bring back some of that nostalgic Summer fun with a totally ridiculous Tarot personality quiz!

I bet you’re just dying to know which of the four Tarot suits – Wands, Pentacles, Cups and Swords – your personality falls into.

Well, wait no longer!

1. It’s a hot Summer day and you’re spending a day at the beach! You spend your time….

a. Thinking, thinking, thinking…..about all your problems and what you should about    this colossal problem that is your life.

b. Daydreaming about sexy mermen and all the wonderful possibilities life has to offer.

c. Swimming, running up and down the beach and chatting up the 21 year old lifeguard.

d. Napping in the sun, lazily collecting sea shells and chowing down on fried food at the concession stand while you read some grisly true crime book.

beach girl
photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net


2. Your dream career is…

a. Professor of something very intellectual where you get to wear smart looking glasses and read lots of books.

b. Painter and sculptor that lives on an island, by the beach. Instead of a coffee break, you take skinny dipping breaks.

c. Running your own business where you get to be creative, teach, travel and be fabulous!

d. Farmer, Builder or Chef – something earthy, where you get to work with your hands.


3. When you go to a friend’s house for dinner, you….

a. Fret about what your host will serve because you are very, very concerned about chemical additives, GMOs, pesticide residue, gluten, BGH in dairy and eating meals with a 80/20 alkaline/acidic ratio.

b. Are simply delighted and touched by the beautiful foods she has lovingly prepared for you. You feel so nourished!

c. Look forward to meeting the other guests and networking with them. You have so many exciting, juicy stories to share and love being the center of attention.

d. Spend forever picking out what to wear. Everything you own seems to exacerbate your spare tire. But holy fuck, are you ever looking forward to knocking back the wine tonight! Good times ahead!

dinner party
Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net


4. When you meet someone for the first time, you always ask them…

a. What books they are currently reading.

b. How their love life is going or how they met their significant other.

c. What their big dreams and visions are.

d. What they do for a living.


5. In bed you like…

a. Dirty talk and role playing. Maybe even a bit of bondage.

b. Romantic bubble baths and eye gazing.

c. Excitement galore! Elevator sex, threesomes and lap dancing.

d. A candlelit massage on silk sheets, followed by a generous glass of red wine.

banana candle
Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net


6. A perfect meal would not be complete without…

a. Scintillating conversation and debate.

b. Deliciously prepared seafood

c. Something spicy!

d. Chewy bread, tasty fowl, fine wine, good cheese and Tiramisu.



7. Your favorite escape is…

a. Music

b. Booze

c. A torrid affair

d. A good book


8. If you were handed one million dollars, you would…

a. Pay off your mortgage, upgrade your car and get your masters degree.

b. Go to a $30,000 shamanic dream journey retreat in Hawaii, a $28,000 past life DNA activation seminar in Sedona, Arizona, a $40,000 painting the goddess art tour of Italy, Greece and Turkey, etc, etc… and more wonderful stuff like this!

c. Start a charity for animals in need, backpack around the world – volunteering with various humanitarian aid organizations and write a novel about it.

d. Get plastic surgery.


9. Your tastes in literature tend to lean towards…

a. Non-fiction.

b. Romance novels.

c. Self help, personal growth and business books.

d. Stories! Especially trilogies and epic series.


10. You suddenly realize your job is total shit and everyone you work with is a complete sociopath. So of course you….

a. Spend a lot of time thinking about what you should do…..and plotting revenge.

b. Emote! Cry about your troubles to friends, family and random strangers in the lineup at the grocery store.

c. Take action! Immediately start looking for a new job and/or quit your current job.

d. Say to yourself “making changes is too hard right now” and then go watch some reality TV, eat some crispy chips and pretend everythings fine.  Your unhappiness will show up later as stomach problems, headaches, rashes and eye infections.


Your Results!

Okay, now tally up your score…

ace of swords
Robin Wood Tarot

Mostly A’s – Oh no, this means you identify most strongly with the Suit of Swords – the jerkiest suit in the Tarot! Your brainy, bitchy, focused and boring. Oh well, at least your well read.

On the plus side, your great at communicating with others, teaching and making decisions. You don’t like to dawdle and piss around – you get shit done and most people respect you a great deal, even if they can’t stand you.


ace of cups tarot card
Fenestra Tarot

Mostly B’s – Yay! Your Cupsy! You identify most strongly with the Suit of Cups – the creative, emotional, touchy feely suit. You love intimacy but crave your freedom.

You enjoy spiritual exploration, personal growth and making stuff but your mom tells you that you need to get your shit together, for god’s sakes your 35 years old and other people your age have families, careers and second marriages. When are you ever going to find yourself?


ace of wands robin wood
Robin Wood Tarot

Mostly C’s – Well congratulations, you Wandsy Wanton! You identify most strongly with the Suit of Wands, the suit of impassioned action and adventure.

Your a go-getter, people like you and your sexy as hell. But at some point you will crash and burn, so don’t get so smug with your checked off goal lists and your manifested dreamboards. Mwwahahaha! At some point you will have a midlife crisis and realize that being successful is totally boring…at which point you may suddenly attain spiritual enlightenment.


ace of pentacles
Robin Wood Tarot

Mostly D’s – You identify strongly with the Suit of Pentacles. Your down to earth and what you see is what you get. You have truly mastered the art of being in the here and now – as skill that others could certainly learn from you.

You love all the earthly delights like food, wine and sex, but you can sometimes become obsessed with your physical appearance and have a tendency to ignore your emotions, which resurface as physical problems like constipation, low back pain and allergies.


In the comments below tell me which suit you fit into (or if you were a combination of two suits) and if your personality description was bang on or way off target 😉 ….

Journal banner 2

Get Wet Today! Veronica’s Advice for your Weekend…

fridays with veronicaVeronica Noir is an anarchist, International woman of mystery, banana bread lover, frantic scrawler of smut and just happens to be my evil twin/alter ego. And that sneaky little witch has gotten into my Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards again…..

Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue

The goddess Sulis is here to tell you to “Spend time near water, such as a lake, river, or the ocean, to recharge your batteries.”


Get drunk in the bathtub!

But in all seriousness, you really need to drag your ass over to some water. Preferably loud, roaring water like a ferocious river so that your incessant thoughts and the voices of dumbf*cks all around you will be droned out.

There’s something very rejuvenating about massive bodies of water. Have you noticed this?

Your life could be a total shitstorm, but spend a few minutes gazing out at the sea or floating in a lake and you’re all like what was my problem again?

Also, we can learn a lot from water. Water flows. Obstacles be damned. Water is powerful. It’s everywhere. Still water gets slimy and scuzzy.

What kind of body of water are YOU? Are you a raging river, a torrential downpour, a still, calm lake or a magnificent ocean?

The 4 Tarot Topics I Always Get Asked About!

Today’s post is all about the four Tarot topics I most often get asked about!

Predicting the timing of events, reading Tarot reversals, making sense of repeating Tarot cards and how to store your Tarot deck when your not using it.

So I have rounded up the four articles that I wrote on these topics and squeezed them all into ONE handy dandy blog post – enjoy 🙂

Tarot & Timing: How to Predict When Something Will Happen

watchWhen will I meet my soul-mate? When will I find my dream job? When will my business take off?

These are some of the most common questions people ask their Tarot cards. Everyone wants to know when!

But is it possible to predict the future with Tarot cards and pinpoint specific time frames for events?

Let me give you some tips and tricks for doing readings about timing….Read more….




Reversed Tarot Cards: How to Read Them!

ace of cups reversedThere are many wonderful ways to read a reversed Tarot card - in this article I give you some suggestions while keeping it simple and easy.

Find out:

Why you should read Tarot reversals

When you shouldn't read them

Who shouldn't bother reading reversals at all

And of course how to read a reversed Tarot card




Same Tarot Card Keeps Popping Up In Your Readings? This is What it Means...

four of swords Have you ever noticed how sometimes the SAME Tarot card will just keep showing up in your readings?

I call these repeating cards encore cards.

Check out my 3 step process for decoding the meaning of these cheeky, repeating cards! Read more....



Storing Your Tarot Cards: What You Need to Know

tarot-boxWhere do YOU keep your cards when your not using them?

Does how you store your Tarot cards effect the accuracy of your readings?

In this article I share my own method for storing my Tarot decks and some tips for protecting the energy of your deck.

Read more....


The Fool says….f**k being “busy”!

fridays with veronica

Veronica is my badass alter ego and she is here to give you some tough love advice on a Friday. What better way to kick off the weekend?

the fool (2)
Housewives Tarot

“Travel lightly, bitch!” says the coiffed lady of The Fool.

At first glance you may think she’s a real dip-shit, letting the contents of her purse scatter to and fro, but look closely. She is just lightening the load.

Now is the time to lighten your load. Get rid of some shit.

The idiots you know and love will tell you that more leads to a meaningful life – more money, more work, a bigger house, a big family, lots of friends, pets, cars, clothes, stuff, shoes, more crap, luggage, things, fancy kitchen utensils, fake tits, social events, aaaaahhhhh!

These same dicks will ask you things like “keeping busy?” whilst nodding vigoriously. You must answer “yes” or face their awkward, blank look of confusion.

This weekend, think less is more.

Think busyness is crazyness.

Don’t be busy. Clear the clutter. Mmmmm…..zen! Now your free.

Menage a Tarot Podcast Premiere!

I am super excited to announce the debut of our podcast Menage a Tarot: Three Tarot Friends Playing with a Full Deck.

This podcast features Ronda from Modern Oracle, David from The Minister of Myself, and myself (Kate). We introduce ourselves and talk about how we began our journey and love affair with Tarot, as well as our different viewpoints on the Tarot. It’s a really fun discussion and I think you’ll enjoy it 🙂

Check out the very first episode right here: http://menageatarot.com/

Let me know what you think! And let me know if you have any suggestions for topics you’d like to hear discussed.



Tarot Challenge: Interpret This Reading!

Are you up for a challenge? A Tarot Challenge?

I hope so!

Unlike my last two Tarot Challenges, this reading isn’t for a made up, fictitious character. This situation is real, so hold onto your hat!

Note: I have gotten permission from this person to share her reading and ask for interpretations and I have changed her name and any identifying details.

So here goes…

Lola is a 42 year old woman, married, no kids and working in her “dream career”. Everything in her life is wonderful – her husband and family are great and she has lots of money, friends and interests. She is in excellent health and is also quite a sexy lady!

However, these past several months she has felt a certain emptiness in her life. It kind of feels like she is dead inside. She keeps thinking “there must be more to life than this.”  She loves her life, but she doesn’t feel fully alive in it. Some days it just feels like she is just going through the motions. And that feeling is only getting bigger and bigger.

She has come to you for a Tarot reading and has asked you “Why did my life loose it’s ‘spark’ and what can I do to inject magic and joyful zest back into my life?”

These are the cards that come up:

sample reading
The Anna K Tarot

Just to let you know….Lola is a close friend of mine and is one tough cookie – she can take whatever no-frills advice you have for her. So don’t hold back or sugar coat your interpretations! And whatever you do, don’t worry about getting it wrong.

Based on these 3 cards, how would YOU interpret this reading? What advice do you have for Lola?

Feel free to share in the comment section below! I am really looking forward to reading your responses 🙂

The secret ingredient to a decadent lifestyle…

fridays with veronica

Veronica is my evil twin and I let her scrawl her silliness all over my blog every Friday. Her readings are deep, insightful and full of penis innuendos. Let’s see what nonsense advice she has for you today…

9 of pents
Morgan Greer Tarot

Just like a spectator at an orgy, the fancy lady of the Nine of Pentacles reclines with ease and luxuriously nibbles on grapes!

Do you wish you could be this fancy lady?

Guess what? You can!

All you need is a falcon, some head jewels and the understanding that everything feels more decadent when you just sit back, relax and eat grapes.

If the kids are fighting this weekend, don’t intervene. Sit back, relax and eat some grapes. Pretend your watching gladiators in a Roman coliseum.

Friends boring you with tiresome, detailed stories about their latest vacation? Sit back, relax and eat grapes. Indulge in a lurid sex fantasy about Daniel Craig. Your friends won’t even know!

Can’t stand the thought of cooking dinner for your in-laws on Sunday night? Fuck it. Sit back, relax and eat grapes. Order pizza.

So there you have it. A plan for your weekend!