tarot card meanings

Here’s a true story….

Veronica

Veronica Noir is an anarchist, International woman of mystery, banana bread lover, frantic scrawler of smut and just happens to be my evil twin/alter ego. She is also away on vacation at the moment, so I’m re-posting a reading she did a year ago….but in it she tells a great story (which is half true!) and I think you’ll find it timely and delightful!

judgement

Have you been judging yourself lately?

Do you think you should be thinner, more motivated, more successful and more interesting than you actually are?

Maybe that’s not true. Maybe you should be exactly as you are.

Let me tell you a story.

I once had a job interview for a job I felt I was underqualified for (International Spy).

I had no experience whatsoever and to top if off I was late for the interview – my black Lamborghini broke down on the way there – and by the time I arrived I was panting and sweaty.

Turns out, the interviewer was kind of a perv and my heaving bosom and flushed skin turned him on. And the fact I had no qualifications only inflated his ego and made him feel superior to me. I got the job!

So let me say it again: you are perfect just the way you are. This weekend, release any self-judgements and just enjoy life!

Here’s a true story…. Read More »

Why glue guns = enlightenment

veronica 2Veronica is my evil alter ego whom I let take over my blog on Fridays. Between martinis and cigarettes she dishes out advice – some terrible, some brilliant. Let’s see what she has to say about the Eight of Pentacles….

8 of pents
Housewives Tarot

Today is the day you will become fully present and attain spiritual enlightenment.

Maybe only for 15 seconds….but it still counts!

The Eight of Pentacles is all about doing some activity that helps you get to that empty brain place where you just aren’t thinking about anything at all.

Annoying “spiritual” people try to do this through sitting on a special meditation cushion and holding their fingers in a particular way….pffft!

The same results can be had by doing arts and crafts. So paint a picture of some boring flowers or do a sketch of an exciting, sexy person! Or glue gun the shit out of something.

Once you stop fretting about the artistic merit of your creations, you will find that your mind stops its incessant chattering. Thank fuck!

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The REAL reason you feel so f**king bored!

VeronicaVeronica is my evil twin/alter ego and she’s here to day to share her diabolical Tarot wisdom with you…..

tarot of the pagan cats
Tarot of Pagan Cats

This Four of Cups Tarot card shows one seriously bored pussy! Look closely and you’ll see a turtle delivering a cup to her, but she’s all like “meh”.

Are you feeling a little bored today? How about numb? Are you feeling blah or just simply unenthused at the predictable monotony that has somehow become your daily life?

Here’s a secret that I just figured out the other day. Boredom and apathy often show up when you want to say or do something but end up saying or doing something else instead because, well, others want you to. OR you just don’t have the guts to be your authentic self in that moment.

For example, maybe your authentic self really wanted to sprint naked through dewy fields this morning and then commune with the flowers on your sundeck while you sipped strawberry tea and ate white chocolate and raspberry scones…..

But your inauthentic self said NO! and instead you grudgingly pulled on your polyester uniform and trudged off to your customer service job where you are forced to be polite to assholes all day long.

So of course your bored! But that boredom and numbness is actually masking a deep sadness, which in turn is masking a volcanic rage….rage at not allowing yourself to do the things you truly want to do in this lifetime.

So take a moment to reflect and ask yourself “what do I really, truly want to do today?” and find a way to make it happen in some small way – even if it means prancing nude past your neighbors spiritually castrated shrubbery.

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Tarot Card Combinations Exercise!

As I was writing my upcoming Tarot card meanings e-book, which should be out in June, I had a bit of an epiphany and an idea for a fun Tarot exercise.

My epiphany was this: the Major Arcana in the Tarot (The Fool through to The World) represent different aspects of your self, while the Minor Arcana represent the different aspects your life.

This of course is not my own idea, as I’m sure it’s been written about in many Tarot books before, but I really truly got it as I was writing this book. It was one of those things I already knew intellectually, but suddenly understood it on a deeper level.

So here’s my idea for a fun Tarot exercise:

As a way to practice card combinations, lets pair up a Major Arcana card with a Minor Arcana card (not a court card, though). I chose the The Emperor and the Four of Cups.

emperor and four of cups
Universal Waite Tarot

 

How would The Emperor deal with feeling bored and uninspired (Four of Cups)?

Or, how does your inner Emperor – the part of yourself that is independent, a bit rebellious and stubborn – respond to feeling this way? When you feel like the mopey moper in the Four of Cups, how does that effect your ability to be the Emperor in your own life (ie: the captain of your ship)?

Personally, when I’m feeling bored and blah about life, I tend to feel un-confident about making decisions and taking charge of my own life. This is when I might sleep till noon and spend the evening watching shit TV or reading celebrity gossip blogs. Aka Saturdays.

Let’s try another!

How would Death – the part of you that ruthlessly clears out what is no longer needed  – experience the Ten of Wands (feeling overburdened and exhausted by crummy chores and stuff)?

death and ten of wands
Universal Waite Tarot

 

I’ll bet he’d delegate certain chores and start saying “no” more often. He would have no trouble allowing things to die (like droopy houseplants, dull friendships or lacklustre hobbies) if the upkeep of those things didn’t make him feel alive.

Through this exercise, you’re able to learn things about yourself and explore all the possibilities of who you really are.

Now it’s your turn!

Choose your favorite Major Arcana card and then randomly pick a card from the Minor Arcana. Ask yourself this:

1. When I feel like the Minor Arcana card, how does that effect the part of myself that is like the Major Arcana card?

2. How would the part of myself that is like the Major Arcana card deal with the life situation illustrated by the Minor Arcana card?

3. What does this tell you about yourself? Is it relevant to your life right now?

Share your results and interpretation in the comments below 🙂

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Your lack of busy-ness is nobody’s business!

veronica 2Veronica is my evil twin. I let her write on my blog only on Fridays. She is a part time Tarot reader, full time gangster of fabulousness. While you can find her many places, you won’t find her volunteering, attending boring baby showers or pretending to be busy…

8 of pents
The Housewive’s Tarot

The other day my good twin Kate was buying some shit in a store. It was a weekday afternoon.

The clerk asked “are you a student?” When she replied “no”, the clerk suspiciously asked “then why aren’t you at work?”

Thank god it was her and not me. I would have flown of the f*cking handle!

Let me state something very clearly: you don’t have to be busy all the time to be a good person.

The world will not come to a crashing halt if you don’t vacuum the bagel crumbs out of the crack in your car seat or stay late at work to finish pointless paperwork.

But if you are going to be busy, make it count! The Eight of Pentacles is all about doing work that you can get lost in.

For me that might be sketching hunky dudes, organizing my panty drawer or doing these Friday readings. But for you it could be something else….like vacuuming crumbs out of cracks, I don’t know!

Just don’t fritter away the day trying to look busy so that jerky bystanders will think you’re good. You’re good already!

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Seven of Swords: “we should get together for coffee!!!” and other lies…

veronica 2My evil alter ego Veronica Noir is here to kick some sense into you with her bitchy Tarot reading! Veronica was selfless enough to take a moment out of her busy day of pedicures, naps and boy-toying to write you this snippet of advice. So take it! Or else….

seven of swords
The Housewives Tarot

You know when you run into someone you haven’t seen for a while and they say “oooh, we should get together for coffee!” but you know they are totally lying?

Then you say something like “well, I’m free all this week and all next week. Morning, noon and night – I’m open!”

And they say “hmm, yeah I’ll facebook you….”

And then they don’t.

It’s because they never actually wanted to have coffee and “catch up” with you. They don’t give a fuck. They’re  just jerking off your ego out of misplaced politeness.

And let’s face it – we all jerk off each others egos out of misplaced politeness now and then. So here’s the deal. Stop saying things you don’t mean just so you can seem more amicable.

We all know you’re a total bitch anyway.

And stop giving a free pass to all those wankers in your life who act all nicey nicey when in reality they’d rather spend an afternoon plucking nipple hairs than drinking coffee with the likes of you!

 

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No Judgement? Veronica calls bull-sh*t!

veronica 2Veronica is my evil twin sister and Tarot reading queen. When she isn’t writing for my blog, she’s slinking around being sexy and mysterious and getting into mischief!

judgement
Housewives Tarot

Have you ever heard someone claim that they’re “non-judgemental” or say “No judgement!” after you catch them looking aghast when you introduce your three husbands?

Well, they’re lying.

Everyone with a brain judges. We’re all judgy Judge Judys, regardless of how hard we try not to be.

Judgement is how we discern the crap from the non-crap. It’s how we decide who we want to spend time with and who totally sucks.

So if you’ve been beating yourself up lately and judging yourself for being so judgmental of everyone around you….STOP!

You’re not judgmental, your discerning.

Trying to stop being judgemental is like trying to stop farting.

It’s a dishonest way to live.

In the comments below, tell me what judgements you’ll no longer feel guilty about having….

 

No Judgement? Veronica calls bull-sh*t! Read More »

“Balance” is for Yoga dorks. But “Variety” is for Sultry Strumpets!

fridays with veronicaVeronica Noir is a mysteriously delinquent Tarot reader who travels the world, diving with sharks and dancing on tabletops. Her advice is horrific at best, yet often surprisingly helpful. Let’s see what she has to say about Temperance

temperance
Housewives Tarot

Today’s card is Temperance and guess what? It’s not about “balance” like you thought it was.

Balance is for ninnies who feel smug when they do yoga and drink green juice out of mason jars with a straw.

This Temperance card is about mixing it up! It’s about variety! Out with the same old, same old, in with the new and different.

“Balance” is a twisted concept invented by stir-crazy moms who try to convince themselves that they can be satisfied with a life of carpooling, monogamy and quiet desperation if only they could walk 3 x week and drink more water.

But variety is the spice of every sultry strumpet’s life! And as you can see here, it takes all kinds of ingredients to make a cake….not just white flour and tears.

Unless you get to play a variety of different roles and sample an array of tasty delectables….well, you’re just not living!

So this weekend, mix things up. Do something different.

Indulge your alter ego for once and do what he/she wants to do.

 

“Balance” is for Yoga dorks. But “Variety” is for Sultry Strumpets! Read More »

Veronica tells you what “self love” really is…

fridays with veronicaVeronica is my evil, Tarot reading twin. She loves to write smut, travel the world and sun-tan topless in inappropriate places. Today she is taking a moment out of her hectic schedule of massages, lunches and napping to write you this bit of wisdom. So I hope you take her advice….

The Star
Housewives Tarot

You know what? You’re a STAR!

Why? You just are!

Now it’s time to celebrate yourself.

But not in a lame, sissy-pants way like taking a bubble bath or eating a piece of chocolate cake.

You should be doing that stuff anyway – as a regular  part of life.

Celebrate by taking yourself on a hot date.

Treat yourself to an exquisite lunch. Order copious amounts of champagne and things containing dairy, gluten and refined sugar – but wear one of those fancy-lady scarves so you can strategically camouflage your gut as you bask in hedonistic splendor!

Make sure you arm yourself with today’s newspaper and while your waiting for your food, scrawl a Hitler stash on everyone you don’t like the looks of. This will provide you with hours of divine amusement and laughter!

Ahhh, this is what “self-love” really feels like.

Tell me….how will you celebrate YOU this weekend?

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How to Read the Same Tarot Card in Different Decks

Do Tarot card meanings differ depending on what deck you’re using?

Does The High Priestess in the Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot deck have the same meaning in The Druidcraft Tarot or the Shadowscapes Tarot?

Yes AND No!

Let me break it down for you and show you how to read Tarot like a pro – regardless of what Tarot deck you’re using…

When reading Tarot with different Tarot decks, keep these things in mind:

1) Each Tarot card has a basic meaning, which typically will not vary much from deck to deck. Think of this as the underlying structure of the card, like a blueprint for a building.

2) Each Tarot deck will depict the cards a bit differently. The underlying structure of the card remains the same, but the artistic differences are like interior decorating – they add a different twist to the basic structure/meaning.

3) Your initial interpretation of a Tarot card will remain very similar, regardless of what deck you’re using – but how you elaborate on that meaning will differ, depending on what images and symbols appear on the card.

Good luck & happy Tarot reading!

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