Veronica is my fun-loving evil twin. She spends her days swanning about her apartment, painting nude men and writing about Tarot. Her readings are blunt and tasteless…yet oddly helpful. Basically, she just wants to slap the crap out of you with her Tarot cards! Now let’s get to today’s reading…
Osho Zen Tarot
Are there people in your life that totally piss you off?
Pfffft, of course there are!
Do you sometimes moan about how your romantic partner is a total douche-bag who just doesn’t appreciate you?
Well, at the risk of sounding like a smug new-ager, let me tell you this: the relationships you have with others always mirror the relationship you have with yourself.
What’s even more terrifying is that we project our “disowned selves” (the parts of ourselves we don’t like) onto those around us.
Here’s a true story: for the longest time, I felt irritated whenever I saw someone driving a huge, souped up truck. I would think “what a prick!” To me, souped up trucks symbolized flagrant excessiveness – all that gas! – and obvious attention whoring – look at me and my big truck!
But when I looked within, I realized that I LOVE to be excessive – I always fill the bath tub to near overflowing and prefer to eat the best quality chocolate I can find. None of that drugstore chocolate for me! And while I don’t seek attention in an obvious way (yachting around the Mediterranean with a gang of boy toys doesn’t count!), I wish I had more of it.
So there you go.
Oh, I almost forgot…….Happy Halloween!
Now you finally have an excuse to dress all slutty in public.
Veronica is my bad to the bone alter ego and she is here to slap some sense into you! She took time out of her hectic day of hot yoga, napping and netflixing to write you this reading – so you’d better listen up and take her advice…
Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffin
When I was a little girl, my grandmother had a really pretty silk pincushion that she kept tucked away in her sewing box.
Every time I used to visit I would find that pincushion and violently stab pins into it, delighting in the way it felt to be so brutal with something so delicate.
Now lets pretend that pincushion is your heart and those pins are your negative thoughts. That’s what the Three of Swords is all about!
Sometimes we want to have negative thoughts and feel the drama that arises. Sometimes we secretly get off on believing that others are betraying us in some way – so we can be all pissy pants about it and mope around in our own misery.
So if someone isn’t quite living up to your romantic expectations of how they should be, ask yourself if that’s really true or are you just causing unnecessary heartache for yourself?
Because admit it, on some level that self-inflicted cruelty is a little bit delicious! At least it gives you a good excuse to binge on chocolate and exotic man-boys.
Or maybe that’s just me.
Although the Three of Swordsis the triple penetration card! Pfffft! Teeeheehee!
It’s full of costumes and candy and lacks the obligatory, tiresome vibe of Christmas and Valentine’s. What’s not to love?
Every Halloween night I bust out my incense and candles and do a special Tarot reading for myself where I reflect on the past few months and make plans for the coming months.
So I thought I would design a fun, campy, Halloween themed Tarot spread to help you do the same thing!
For a printer friendly version of this spread, click here.
If you would like to see this spread in action, using the Anna K Tarot, here is my demonstration video:
I would love to hear what you think! How was this spread for you? And what are your big plans and goals for the coming Winter?
Veronica is my evil twin and partner in crime. You can find her camping out in metaphysical bookstores and napping through a yoga class. When she isn’t scrawling chick-porn on her laptop, she’s writing Tarot readings for this blog…
Osho Zen Tarot
Your Inner Buddha wants you to just chill the fuck out already. Seriously.
Your personality/ego self is all like “aah! What must people think of me? I don’t make enough money! I look like a bloated whale in these pants! How am I going to get everything done today?”
Meanwhile, your Inner Buddha reclines on a chaise lounge with a joint in one hand, not giving a shit about any of it.
It’s time to meet this mysteriously calm little person inside of you….
When you think “what will the bitches in my office think of my new shoes?”, your Inner Buddha thinks “where can I find some velcro moccasins?”
When you obsess about whether or not your partner really loves you, your Inner Buddha couldn’t care less. It’s completely fucking irrelevant.
It’s not that your Inner Buddha doesn’t care about anything, it’s just that it doesn’t care about stupid pointless shit. And for many of us, worrying and thinking about stupid pointless shit can consume a pretty big part of our day.
So this weekend, don’t try to stop worrying or thinking about stupid pointless shit. That never works. Just ask yourself “what would my Inner Buddha do?”
Imagine this: It’s 8pm on a dark and rainy night. Thunder and lighting boom and flash in the distance as you sit in your armchair by the fire, shuffling your Tarot cards.
Across from you sits Minxy Blue – a friend of a friend. Minxy is a high class escort who lives a lavish lifestyle, “escorting” distinguished gentlemen and the occasional celebrity. But she has recently met someone special who has a problem with her chosen line of work. His name is Vlad Smith and he has proposed to her on the condition that she quit her escort job and do something else.
Minxy loves Vlad but she also loves her work. She’s in a conundrum! She asks you “what on Earth am I supposed to do?”
Just then, two cards come flying out of the deck, landing upright on the table in front of you.
But here’s the challenge: Minxy doesn’t have the time or the patience to listen to you ramble about the cards. So make it quick! In just 3 sentences or less, interpret these two cards in a way that is helpful to Minxy:
Hanson-Roberts Tarot
Please feel free to post your interpretation in the comments below!
If you would like to see how I interpreted these cards, just click on the text below…
Speak openly with Vlad about how you feel about leaving your career (Two of Cups). But make sure you go within and do some soul searching to find out what is truly important to you right now (The Hermit). There is much light and brightness in these two cards which shows that now is not the time to hide from your feelings and issues, Minxy girl!
Veronica is my alter ego – she says the things I have always longed to say and does the things I’ve always longed to do! When she isn’t whizzing around the world in her private jet full of boy toys, she’s yelling at crows (they are so loud at 5 am!) and sneering at what other people are buying in the grocery store. Here is her take on the Six of Wands…
Anna K Tarot
Do you remember that obnoxious scene in Titanicwhere Leo Dicaprio shouts “I’m the king of the world!” from the bow of the ship? And then dies later?
Well, that’s what this card reminds me of.
And do you know someone in your life who is an annoying overachiever? Some dick who runs marathons, buys “investment properties” and has a “career”?
I know, those people are everywhere!
Or heaven forbid, maybe YOU are an overachiever. It’s okay, there’s still hope for you.
The Six of Wands depicts the fleeting glee that arises when you “succeed” on society’s terms.
It’s all sunshine and silken red loincloths at first, but then you realize that being successful isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. In fact, it demands a certain amount of those sinister traits called responsibility and maturity. Um, yuck. No thanks.
If your “success” brings you more unpleasantness – like more work, more busy-ness, less free time, etc – then you need to re-think what success really means for you.
My personal idea of success is long stretches of uninterrupted free time, anonymity, fancy bedding and not giving a shit about what others think of me.
Do you wish you had your own personal life coach? Well guess what? If you have a deck of Tarot cards you kind of already do have a life coach. Let me explain…
Think of your Tarot deck as a mediator between you and your Higher Self (or Inner Self, Unconscious, Inner Wisdom, Inner Guru, whatever).
Here’s my easy peasy formula for gleaning important info and guidance into your life via your Tarot cards:
If you would like to do this exercise along with me, the video version is below. Otherwise, read on!
1. Identify your “issue” or problem that you would like some guidance around.
When I did this exercise last night, I chose my “issue” of not finding the right house to buy. I have been searching for over a year and haven’t found the right place yet.
2. Ask “what do I need to know about (issue) ?”
For example, what do I need to know about finding the right home (and why I haven’t yet)?
3. Draw ONE card.
The card I got was The Moon.
Anna K Tarot
4. Which suit is that card from? This will indicate the area of your life in which your “issue” is based.
Major Arcana = spiritual, life path, major life lesson
Wands = energetic, creative, career
Cups = emotional, relationships
Swords = mental, thoughts, communication
Pentacles = body/health, money, material stuff
Court card = A particular person or personality trait
Keep an open mind here. The area of your life that your issue is based in may surprise you. For example, your health problems could be connected to your relationships (Cups) or your relationship issue could be rooted in your money issues (Pentacles).
Because I got The Moon, a Major Arcana card, I know my issue of not finding a house has to do with my life path and is acting as a major spiritual lesson right now.
5. Now, lets take a closer look at the card. We know the area that it relates to, but what is it trying to tell you? Jot down the traditional meaning of your card.
The Moon Tarot card has to do with the subconscious, dreams and that which is hidden. Sometimes it can indicate deception or not being fully aware of something.
6. How does the traditional meaning (or keywords) apply to your specific issue and/or the area of your life in which this issue is based.
Here is where you are really getting into the nooks and crannies of your issue. This is a chance to look at your issue/problem in a way that you probably haven’t yet.
When I did my reading I felt that The Moon applied to my life in that I have been having lots of dreams lately about going down into basements to view disturbing things (which I suspect is a symbol for exploring the unconscious). This could indicate that subconscious issues are holding me back from finding a house.
7. What advice does my chosen card have for me? What should be your next step?
Now you are switching the lens through which you see this card. You are asking a different question, but there is no need to draw a different card. You only need to look at this card in a different light.
When I gaze at The Moon, the advice that jumps out at me is this: study your dreams and explore the scaryness and ugliness that lies beneath the surface. The frightening things you find in the basement of your dreams may represent thoughts, fears and feelings that you have repressed because you’ve deemed the unacceptable or too scary to face.
8. Set a goal. Write it down. Give yourself a timeline. Take action.
This is where the life-coachy part comes in! The impact of a really insightful Tarot reading can vanish like a fart in the wind if you don’t write it down and do something about it.
I set the goal to consult some dream books and take a closer look at the symbols in my dreams and do some journalling around this. I aim to do this over the next 7 days.
9. Bonus question: what message does my Inner Self have for me in regards to this issue?
If you still feel a little unsatisfied with your reading, this can be a nice way to wrap things up. Spend some time gazing at your card, noticing the symbols and general vibe of the card. Can you decipher a comforting or encouraging message there?
When I gazed at The Moon, I noticed that it wasn’t a full moon – it was only a crescent moon. When I pondered this for a bit I heard the phrase “the moon is not yet full” meaning that the time has not yet come, but it will. In other words, now is not the right time for me to find a house. So I can just relax.
Was it good for you? Let me know what you think!
In the comments below feel free to share your own experience with this Tarot exercise 🙂
Veronica Noir, The Daily Tarot Girl’s evil counterpart, is here to kick some sense into you with her uncompassionate style of Tarot reading. She usually writes these half-drunk, so take her advice with a grain of salt…or a tablespoon!
Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffi
Are you tired of spending your hard earned money on totally boring things like insurance, taxes, RRSPs and toothpaste?
The Four of Coinsnymph is here to suggest that you start spending your cash on the things that matter – lavish dinners, theater tickets, Turkish towels and gigolos!
That is what money was made for! Not all this boring shit that seems to consume 100% of your income. Good God!
Some people think the Four of Coins (aka Four of Pentacles) is about being cheap or feeling the need to pinch pennies. But it’s not!
Its about feeling pissed off that you have to spend so much money on totally pointless stuff that brings you absolutely no pleasure whatsoever. Like spending tons of money on a modest, unsexy car….so you can drive to work everyday.
So this weekend, blow your dough on something totally delicious. Something totally extravagant. Something totally….hedonistic!
In the comments below, tell me what one awesome thing you are going to spend your money on this weekend….and please don’t say “penny slots” or Doritos. Fuck!
Veronica is my fun-loving evil twin. She spends her days swanning about her apartment, painting nude men and writing about Tarot. Her readings are blunt and tasteless…yet oddly helpful. Basically, she just wants to slap the crap out of you with her Tarot cards! Now let’s get to today’s reading…
