Tarot Reading for June 1 – 7
Please feel free to share your own insights in the comments below 🙂
Have a beautiful week!
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tarot blog
Channel your inner cock (I mean rooster!)
Veronica is my evil twin and a Tarot card reading dynamo! She spends her days reading paranormal romance novels, suntanning on her balcony and leering at young male construction workers that are building her neighbors deck. Yum! She is here to tell you what to do with your life – so lets see what she has to say…
Cock-a -doodle-do! says the Rooster, wake the f*ck up!
Rub the sleepiness out of your eyes and step onto the scene of your life with gusto and snap – it’s time to announce yourself!
You might be thinking “can’t I just phone this one in today and get back to my zombie shuffle?”
The answer is NO!
It’s time to be awake, present and loud. Maybe even obnoxious. Like morning wood.
Live life on purpose today.
Stride (instead of shuffle) down the street, wear bright clothing, don’t try to fit in and make sure you act a little, well…. cocky!
You’ve been passive and non-offensive way to long, silly pants. Who cares if you annoy others? The roost is yours to rule this weekend 😉
And I hope that wasn’t too much penis innuendo for you.
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Shield yourself from twits
Veronica is my evil twin. She is also many other things: nude yoga practitioner, Tarot reader, ninja-spy, painter, professional napper and erotic fiction writer. Today she gifts you with a reading from my Angel cards…
Today’s card is “Shielding” and it suggests that there is someone in your life who is really starting to piss you off.
Perhaps a co-worker who brags about never taking her breaks or a spouse who drapes his sweaty workout shirts on your furniture “to dry before putting them in the laundry hamper.”
Who ever it is, you have the overwhelming urge to erect a massive bubble around you, stick your fingers in your ears and go la la la la la la la!
Ignore those obnoxious twits in your life by finding your “happy place” – creating a bubble of denial where you can immerse yourself in fantasy and daydreaming to your hearts content.
This creates an invisible energy shield and those who seek to drain your energy will find you boring, repulsive and not worth their time. YES!
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Negative Tarot Cards = Your Secret Desires: A Surprising New Way to Read Tarot!
This week, I am unveiling my brand new e-course The Art of Tarot: How to Read a Negative Card in a Positive Light.
Today I want to share my favorite part of this course with you – reading the negative cards as secret desires.
When a “negative” Tarot card (like the 3 of Swords or The Tower) appears in a reading, it can often represent a secret wish or unconscious desire. A desire so dark and so shocking, that our conscious selves just can’t handle it!
Let me show you what I mean:
Let’s say I’m giving myself a Tarot reading and I ask “how can I make my life more adventurous?”
And one of the cards that appears is the 8 of Swords.
Ding, ding, ding! Secret desire alert!
Now, there are many different ways I could look at this card, but today I am choosing to see the negative cards as representing my secret desires.
So what dark, undisclosed desire could the 8 of swords represent? And how on earth does it relate to my question?
Here are some possibilities…
1) the desire to be “rescued”
2) the desire to be tied up and blindfolded (very literal!)
3) the desire to remain “in the dark” (blindfold) and powerless (and therefore not responsible for anything)
Out of all these possible “secret desires”, the desire to be rescued feels most likely.
My Interpretation: Perhaps I want my life to be more adventurous, but secretly, deep down, I really want someone to swoop in and rescue me from boredom, whisking me away to be entertained and enchanted. As long as I sit around waiting, my life will never truly be an adventure. I need to acknowledge this desire and then take matters into my own hands.
Now it’s your turn!
Just for fun, let’s pretend your deepest, undercover desire is…..
THE DEVIL!
In the comments below, tell me what “secret desire” of yours this Tarot Card might represent. (Can’t wait to read this!!!)
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It’s Okay to be a Jerk Today
Veronica is my evil twin. And oh my god is she evil! The contents of her Kindle are filthy, filthy, filthy, and her mind isn’t much better. The advice she gives via her Tarot cards is one stop short of crazy, but her intentions are pure. So every Friday I let her go batshit…
Today is a good day to act like a sociopath. At least that’s what I think this card is trying to say.
The Eagle, Guardian of Feathers (aka King of Swords) is here to tell you not to get all emotional and touchy feely about everything. Be cool. Be calm. Detach.
I watched a documentary on eagles last week and those birds are horrible creatures. They don’t give a shit about anyone’s feelings! They push their infant siblings out of the nest and sometimes even eat them alive as soon as they hatch (provided the mama eagle isn’t around).
These giant winged jerks look out for number one. Get in the way of an Eagle and he will pluck your eyes out and won’t even feel a twinge of guilt.
So what can you learn from these airborne psychopaths?
I think Eagle gives us permission to be cool and detached every now and then. Just because you sometimes want to peck the brains and eyes out of your coworkers doesn’t mean you aren’t “spiritual”.
After all, the Eagle is a spiritual symbol. How such a mean bird managed to claim such a high place on the spiritual animal hierarchy is a mystery. Wrens and Robins – perfectly nice birds – are totally looked over.
So let that be a lesson.
In the comments below, tell me which animal you think gets waaaay to much undeserved attention…
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Queen of Cups ~ F*ck this Christmas sh*t!
Veronica Noir is my batshit crazy twin sister. She is just like me except she’s brilliant, has no sense of guilt or shame, speaks her mind and does whatever she wants, when she wants! Kind of like a psychopath….but with a heart of gold. Oh, and she also reads Tarot…
T’is the season…
To be inundated with boring work parties, excruciating family get togethers, shit Christmas music warbling in the background as you shuffle through the mall and the worst thing of all….buying presents for other people. Blech!
“Well at least there’s lots of alcohol around,” purrs the Queen of Cups. “So drink up, slut!”
When you see this Queen’s far off, glazy stare you just know she’s thinking “I’m gonna need to knock back two more goblets of Dubonet to survive listening to Larry from finance drone on about World of Warcraft for the next hour.”
So my advice for this weekend is this: use whatever aids you have available to you – ahem! hard liquor – to help get you through this difficult time. And if you end up behaving inappropriately as a result, well…blame it on whoever’s closest. Especially if they’re dressed like a whore.
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Bust out of that coffin! Tarot card for Friday…
Question of the day: What coffin do you long to burst out of? What tiresome “role” makes you feel like a zombie? It’s time to bust loose!
Judgement is here to let you know that a re-birth is in order. This card is choc-full of phallic and vaginal symbolism – people leaping out of dark boxes and an angel going to town on a large golden “trumpet”. Good god! What does is all mean?
It means wake the fuck up and start living! It’s easy to corpse-walk your way through life, but who wants to do that?
The trumpet actually symbolizes your divine calling. Are you going to listen and act? Or are you going to stay in that safe little coffin of yours?
But how do you do that? Let me tell you…..
Do ONE THING today that a zombie would be incapable of doing. You’ll be surprised by how this eliminates most of your daily activites 😉 Then report back here and share what you did!
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Tarot Card for Thursday ~ 6 of Cups
Today’s Tarot card is Six of Cups and it is all about helping a friend out. Someone needs your assistance today – perhaps it is just a kind work of encouragement that is needed or maybe a little more.
But here’s a word of warning – help only if it feels good for you. Don’t help out of a sense of should or duty – especially if it feels heavy and draining for you.
Someone could use your help today, but its your genuine spirit of generosity that is needed, not the actual action of help, if that makes sense!
Help is only helpful if it is freely given. And remember…there is no shame in saying “no”.
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Tarot Card for Friday ~ Knight of Cups
Veronica is my evil twin and she loves to give bad advice! She wrote this reading at midnight while sipping Bailey’s and watching some smutty late night foreign film. Enjoy…
The Knight of Cups is at it again! Drinking on the job and raising his martini glass to toast his newest adventure. I like this guy!
But you know what I really like about him? He wears pink. Out of all the testosterone fueled Knights, this guy is blatantly androgynous – or dare I say feminine?
His colleagues (the other three knights) may wield phallic objects and look all serious, but he went “fuck this. I’m going to have a drink and wear a pink feather in my helmet. And I don’t give two shits where I end up as long as its interesting and fun.”
Today, be like the Knight of Cups! Contrary to what Kate said on Monday and Tuesday, don’t make a plan! Get distracted! Go wherever the wind takes you and raise a glass to all wandering spirits. Enjoy the journey!
*Are you an aspiring business lady (or man)? Want to hear my cracked out business advice? Check out Kris Oster’s rockin’ blog right here to read my article Get Drunk on the Beach!
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Tarot Card for Monday ~ The Chariot
Monday’s Tarot card, The Chariot, is all about getting your shit together and making a plan!
Today is a good day to write down your goals and make an action plan. You’ve got the energy, but without direction it will just fizzle.
Where do you want to go? What direction do you want to take? What will your next step be? Ask yourself these questions and write down the answers.
Remember, you don’t have to figure out your next 20 steps – just the next step. Don’t overwhelm yourself by thinking you have to figure it all out right now. You don’t!
But you do need to get your wheels greased up and your glasses cleaned so you can move forward with ease and clarity.
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