Veronica Noir, The Daily Tarot Girl’s evil counterpart, is here to kick some sense into you with her uncompassionate style of Tarot reading. She usually writes these half-drunk, so take her advice with a grain of salt…or a tablespoon!
Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffi
Are you tired of spending your hard earned money on totally boring things like insurance, taxes, RRSPs and toothpaste?
The Four of Coinsnymph is here to suggest that you start spending your cash on the things that matter – lavish dinners, theater tickets, Turkish towels and gigolos!
That is what money was made for! Not all this boring shit that seems to consume 100% of your income. Good God!
Some people think the Four of Coins (aka Four of Pentacles) is about being cheap or feeling the need to pinch pennies. But it’s not!
Its about feeling pissed off that you have to spend so much money on totally pointless stuff that brings you absolutely no pleasure whatsoever. Like spending tons of money on a modest, unsexy car….so you can drive to work everyday.
So this weekend, blow your dough on something totally delicious. Something totally extravagant. Something totally….hedonistic!
In the comments below, tell me what one awesome thing you are going to spend your money on this weekend….and please don’t say “penny slots” or Doritos. Fuck!
Veronica is my evil twin. She’s wicked, nasty and way more interesting than myself! Here is her take on the Four of Swords…
Anna K Tarot
You know when you have those days where all you want to do is just lay on the couch for hours and watch 90210 (the 90’s version) on Netflix?
Remember LUKE PERRY?!
But you tell yourself “no, that’s lazy, I must go grocery shopping, do laundry and attend some shitty social event tonight.”
And then you get sick.
And you are forced to cancel because you feel horrible.
But then you get to spend all night on your couch watching 90210 re-runs.
Well played, my friend, well played.
The Four of Swords has shown up to remind you to take some downtime.
And not any of that high-quality downtime, like meditation or yoga. I’m talking low quality down time. Nachos, Netflix, Harlequin romance novels – that kind of shit!
Engaging in that kind of soul-poisoning claptrap is actually quite nourishing at times. It’s what I call true self care and it just might be your best cold prevention medicine!
In the comments below, I want you to tell me exactly what kind of “low quality downtime” you will be engaging in this weekend….
Veroncia is my evil twin/alter ego who writes awful Tarot readings on Friday’s. She loves sneering at happy couples, eavesdropping on her neighbor’s fights and ignoring everyone on Facebook. Yes, she is totally evil…
Anna K Tarot
The Six of Swords reminds me of my favorite super-bitchy spiritual saying “wherever you go, you take yourself with you.”
We all know some jerk who’s always spouting off about how this place sucks and why it’s way better someplace else.
Or maybe you do this.
Have you ever found yourself day-dreaming about having a different job, romantic partner or body?
Well guess what?
It’s easy to romanticize something that you don’t have to encounter every fucking day. The reality is never the juicy utopia of your fantasies!
And here’s the bombshell…if your not awesome, your surroundings never will be.
So if you find yourself in a state of transition, which the Six of Swords suggests, don’t get your panties in a twist trying to change everything and everyone around you.
Instead, transform yourself. Be more fabulous.
But how?!you ask.
Veronica’s Rules For Being More Fabulous
1. Stop going on Facebook. It’s just people’s boring wedding and baby pictures anyway.
2. Start using cash to pay for things….and always keep it stuffed in your bra (or jock strap).
3. Read smutty books in the break room at work and conduct live “readings” whenever possible!
Yep, just three rules. Should be simple for you. Good luck 😉
Q:I am having trouble learning the Tarot card meanings. It’s a boring process and I can never remember the meanings. Do I really need to learn them? Or can I just learn to read “intuitively”?
A: Reading Tarot “intuitively” without first learning the structure of Tarot and the card meanings is kind of like visiting a foreign country without learning the language.
Sure you will be able to get by with charades style communication and drawing pictures, but things won’t be smooth and you will feel like a total moron! Even learning a few key words and phrases can make a world of difference.
This is what I have found to be true….
1. Tarot is like a language – its a way for you to communicate with spirit and with your Inner Self.
2. Sometimes there is real value in tossing the “traditional” Tarot meanings aside to explore the cards more deeply and engage my intuition as I interact with the card figures, symbols, etc.
But…
3.The traditional card meaning always acts as a trigger or a doorway into my inner, intuitive landscape.
So while you don’t need to learn the Tarot card meanings in order to get guidance from your Tarot cards, your readings will take on a richer, more grounded quality when you do.
But if learning the Tarot card meanings feels boring to you, I suggest you vamp up the way you study your Tarot cards.
One of the techniques I love to teach is the “creating a story/character” approach.
Here’s how it works:
Step one: Choose a Tarot card that features a person.
Any court card will work good for this, as will Major arcana cards like The Magician or The Empress.
For this exercise I am going to be working with the Knight of Pentacles from the Crystal Visions Tarot.
Step two: Consider the traditional meaning of this card.
The Crystal Visions companion book describes the Knight of Pentacles as being “cautious, thoughtful and hardworking” with an “all work and no play” attitude.
Step three: flesh out the character by imagining other details and quirks.
I bet this Knight is the kind of guy who loves to read non-fiction and will spout off “facts” about things at dinner parties.
But I also think he would make a mean apple pie and is particularly talented when it comes to making curries and casseroles and stuff like that. Yum!
Step four: Imagine a backstory & create a history for your character.
When I imagine the Knight of Pentacles as a real person, I see him working in a “safe”, repetitive job – like a factory or office.
His home life growing up was average and uninteresting, but then he met the love of his life and suddenly everything changed. He had never been happier.
But he was slow in proposing to her and she ended up running off with a rich playboy on a yacht in the Bahamas. That was years ago, but his heart still aches, so he wears a thick layer of emotional armor….etc, etc…I could go on all day.
What’s the point of all this? you may be wondering…
When we craft our own stories about the Tarot cards, we are adding our own creative spice to our studies.
Not only will you now have an easier time remembering the meaning of The Knight of Pentacles, or whatever card you chose to do this exercise with, but you will feel like you know this dude and he’s no longer a stranger on a Tarot card.
In the comments below, tell me….
What card did you pick for this exercise and what sordid personality quirks did you uncover? I can’t wait to read your response 🙂
Veronica Noir is my evil twin and fellow Tarot reader. When she’s not molesting young men with her eyes and knocking back Margaritas on her balcony, she’s helping me with my upcoming Tarot book and doing horrid readings on this blog…
The Cosmic Tarot
The Four of Cups shows a pasty young man who looks rather blase about everything. But he’s wearing a loincloth and he has a frickin’ horse! How on Earth can this little shit be bored?!
Anyway, you’re feeling rather dull today.
And just under the surface is this curious buzzing, this feeling of discontent that is gaining momentum and threatening to break free.
Boredom….the most dangerous thing in the world? It just might be.
The other day I was out for a walk and I came upon a little girl who was writing things in the street with chalk. In huge, bubbly letters was the word “POO” – scrawled right across the entire road.
“Did you write this?” I asked her.
She shrugged, smirked and said “I was bored.”
So let that be a lesson. We do odd things when we’re bored.
Whether it’s writing “POO” on the street, reading US Weekly magazine or organizing your cookbook collection, we all resort to horrific things when boredom strikes.
So this weekend, don’t just sit there. Tap into your boredom – because it’s masking something…something magnificent!
Veronica is my evil twin and fellow Tarot reader. How evil is she? Well, she detests baby showers and thinks wearing panties is for wimps. And when she isn’t strutting about in slutty halloween costumes all year round, she can be found in her local metaphysical bookstore….reading books but never buying anything. Here is her take on the Three of Cups…
Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffin
Today’s Tarot card is the Three of Cups (from the Hezicos Tarot), which predicts that it won’t be long until you find your tribe of fellow wack-jobs!
For too long now you have felt like an outsider in your community – the crazy one, the one with odd hobbies and interests.
Not everyone is into meditating with crystals, energy healing and Shamanic journeying. In fact, hardly anyone is. Which has made you wonder….is it me? Am I the odd one?
Yes, you are! But guess what? That’s a good thing. All those normal people are crap…and they’re boring!
It’s high time you celebrated your unique nutsyness by starting a community of sorts. Put the call out – start a dream group, a healing circle or a Tarot study group – you will be shocked silly at the response you get!
Here’s a secret I found out recently….not everyone who seems “normal” actually is. Most of them are just pretending…just waiting for someone to come along and start an Astral Travel support group or something, so they can find their tribe.
So don’t be a lolagagging Lola….get out there and start recruiting some fringey friends!
It’s been a while since I presented you with a new Tarot challenge, so I decided to make this one extra tough…..by using only Court Cards!
First I will present you with a fabricated scenario:
You are doing a reading for Stephen – a middle aged man who works stocking vending machines in government buildings. Stephen has been divorced two years, has two teenaged daughters who hate him (he sees them every other weekend) and a Chihuahua with a bladder control problem.
Despite this dreary description of Stephen’s life, he is actually quite happy and content. He is coming to you for a reading because he’s just met someone new – Larissa – a new-agey maven who runs the local crystal shop.
They’ve been on a few hot and heavy dates and now Larissa wants him to come to Sedona with her for a Shamanic drumming weekend. He is reluctant. He hates that shit! But he doesn’t want to upset Larissa. What should he do?
You shuffle your cards, lay them out and turn them over. This is what comes up…..
Druidcraft Tarot
Remember: Court cards can represent people and/or personality traits. They can suggest how to act (or how not to act). Notice the facial expressions, body language and action in these cards.
You are not using a particular spread, so feel free to interpret the cards however you like.
So….what advice would you give Stephen, based on these three cards?
Please post your interpretation/reading in the comments below. This challenge is open to ALL levels of readers – so don’t by shy if your a beginner!…I can’t wait to hear what you come up with 🙂
Veronica Noir is my batshit crazy twin sister. She is just like me except she’s brilliant, has no sense of guilt or shame, speaks her mind and does whatever she wants, when she wants! Kind of like a psychopath….but with a heart of gold. Oh, and she also reads Tarot…
Ah yes! The Ten of Rods (aka Ten of Wands) – a warning for you to plug your ears to the siren call of wanting more.
Here’s a depressing equation:
feeling empty + wanting more = taking on lots of responsibilities, roles, hobbies and friends to make your life more meaningful and important + realizing your still empty, but now your also exhausted = resentment x 100
I was always crappy at math, so the above equation may not make sense to you, but that’s not the point.
The point is, all your roles and duties will only weigh you down on the adventure of life!
Do you knowsomeone who is always informing you of all the different roles they play? For example, a friend who says shit like “I’m a wife, mother, sister, chef, girl guide leader, janitor, blah, blah, blah” and you all you can think is holy fuck, when do you have time to fap?
While the Urban Dictionary defines the termfap as “the onomatopoeic representation of masturbation”, I would like to extend that definition to include all activities that are pleasurable but ultimately serve no purpose – like watching Entertainment Tonight, googling hot celebrities, organizing your nail polish collection – stuff like that.
Make time to fap. A life without adequate fap time will only foster resentment.
On a different note.....the second episode of the Menage A Tarot podcast is up! Click here to listen 🙂
1) You right now – This card represents what is going on for you right now. It indicates what you are thinking, feeling or doing.
2) Strongest influence – what is influencing you right now. This could be a particular energy, desire, person or event.
3) Hidden desires – Oh la la! This is what you really want. Social expectations be damned!
4) Snakeskin: what you’ve shed – what you’ve let go of, what is no longer a part of you or your life.
5) What you think you want – This may or may not be in alignment with #3 (what you really want), but this is a goal that you are actively pursuing.
6) Into the forest! What’s next? – As you go deeper into your life journey, what adventure will await you next?
7) Your relationship to your higher self – how connected or disconnected are you from the higher aspect of yourself?
8) Your role in your community – the role you often play at work, with friends and family and with the people you encounter in your day to day life.
9) The secret key to bliss! – what would make your life more blissful and fun.
10) Wonderful things that will happen – the good stuff that awaits you in the distant future.
What if you get a negative card in a "positive" position?
Negative cards represent blocks that, if dealt with and removed, will bring greater ease and joy into your life.
For example, if you get The Devil in the "key to bliss" position, it could indicate that dealing with your addictions will lead to a more blissful life.
Always keep the positive aspect of the negative cards in mind. If you get Three of Swords in the "role in my community" position, it could mean that you act as the shoulder to cry on when others are feeling down.
Watch this spread in action in my video below:
Please feel free to share your results with this spread in the comments below!
Veronica Noir, The Daily Tarot Girl’s evil counterpart, is here to kick some sense into you with her uncompassionate style of Tarot reading. She usually writes these half-drunk, so take her advice with a grain of salt…or a tablespoon!
