veronica noir - Page 4 of 7 - Daily Tarot Girl

Full moon dreams + hippie sex!

Veronica Noir is my evil twin. She loves mean cats, nice boys and devouring melting ice cream sandwiches. Billionaire heiress by day, scrawler of paranormal smut by night. And for some sick reason I let her mess up my blog on Fridays…

4-of-swords-hezicos-tarot — Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffin

Today we’ve got the Four of Swords!

I was about to rattle off some nonsense about meditation and going within until I noticed that the moon is shining a spotlight on this dreamer’s nether region…

It’s showtime!

Is the light of your unconsciousness casting an eerie glow on your sex life?

Are you having weird sex dreams?

If not…why not?

One of the greatest pleasures in life is having messed up dreams, so be sure you make an extra effort this weekend. Plus its a full moon! Eeeeeee!

Watch creepy sex movies like Eyes Wide Shut right before bed, eat cheese for a bedtime snack and put a drop of Patchouli on your pillow (its an aphrodisiac that might bring on a hippie dream)

It’s high time you had some free love!

Full moon dreams + hippie sex! Read More »

Are you Judging Yourself?

Veronica Noir is an anarchist, International woman of mystery, banana bread lover, frantic scrawler of smut and just happens to be my evil twin/alter ego. Here is her take on the Judgement card…

Have you been judging yourself lately?

Do you think you should be thinner, more motivated, more successful and more interesting than you actually are?

Maybe that’s not true. Maybe you should be exactly as you are.

Let me tell you a story.

I once had a job interview for a job I felt I was underqualified for (International Spy).

I had no experience whatsoever and to top if off I was late for the interview – my black Lamborghini broke down on the way there – and by the time I arrived I was panting and sweaty.

Turns out, the interviewer was kind of a perv and my heaving bosom and flushed skin turned him on. And the fact I had no qualifications only inflated his ego and made him feel superior to me. I got the job!

So let me say it again: you are perfect just the way you are. This weekend, release any self-judgements and just enjoy life!

Are you Judging Yourself? Read More »

Advice from The Magician!

7 Comments / May 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / May 9, 2014

Veronica Noir is my evil twin who is way more badass than myself. She is 10 x hotter, smarter and crazier than me and every Friday I let her do a one card reading on my blog. Her advice is always dreadful and sometimes even a bit rude. So without further ado…

Today’s Tarot card is The Magician and this magician in particular has a real panty-melting stare!

He seems to be encouraging you to put intensity into all that you do today. Don’t half-ass it, don’t be soft, don’t shuffle through it. Go full tilt!

The Magician is all about harnessing energy and then directing it to a specific goal.

If there’s something you want, you need to go after it like a sexual predator. No holds barred. Bystanders be damned!

One way to do this is to notice what your “energy drains” are. If your exhausted all the time, you sure as f*ck aren’t going to feel like goal setting.

For me, my energy drains are: boring people, grocery shopping, The John Tesh radio show and reality TV.

What are yours? Tell me all in the comments below!

Advice from The Magician! Read More »

Nine of Wands: Start Aiming Lower…

3 Comments / April 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / April 25, 2014

Veronica Noir is a Tarot reader extraordinaire, serial man-eater and my evil twin sister. She likes telling people what to do, loudly saying the F-word at the grocery store and deeply inhaling sage smoke – its cleansing, right? Here is her weekly dose of Tarot guidance, just in time for the weekend…

Success is sweet because once you are high up, you get to look down on everyone.

But then you start to fantasize that everyone’s out to get you, trying to knock you down and stomp on your face.

Success is stressful!

But nothing says zen-bliss like mediocrity. Sometimes its nice to just aim for blandness, middle of the road, average and unimpressive.

Sliding in under the radar is the most underrated, hedonistic pleasure.

“Reach for the stars!” annoying people say.

I like to reach for the glow in the dark stars on my bedroom ceiling that were haphazardly stuck on by the previous resident of my apartment. I know I can reach those!

So my advice for this weekend is this: keep your expectations low and no one gets disappointed!

Nine of Wands: Start Aiming Lower… Read More »

Terrible Advice for Your Weekend…

8 Comments / April 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / April 4, 2014

Veronica Noir is my horrible alter ego. She reads Tarot Cards, writes dirty books and can make a mean cappuccino cheesecake! She loves giving shocking, offensive advice via this weekly blog…

Sometimes shit just doesn’t go your way.

But you always have the choice of rolling with it or digging in your heels and getting really, really pissed.

Personally, I like the second option best. Why does everything have to be positive, anyway?

Everyone’s always quick to say stupid shit like:

“look on the bright side!”

“every cloud has a silver lining!”

Fuck that. I like to revel in my misery.

So this weekend, if you feel grumpy, embrace it! Don’t try to run, don’t try to put a positive spin on it. Really immerse yourself in it. Play it for all its worth!

If you don’t allow yourself the decadent luxury of unchaperoned suffering from time to time, how will you ever know true happiness?

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Goddess Advice for Friday!

7 Comments / March 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / March 28, 2014

Veronica Noir is my batshit crazy twin sister. She is just like me except she’s brilliant, has no sense of guilt or shame, speaks her mind and does whatever she wants, when she wants! Kind of like a psychopath….but with a heart of gold. Oh, and she also reads Tarot…

Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue

Happy Friday!

The Goddess Sige is here to tell you to “shut the f*ck up!”

Oh wait, that’s not was she’s saying….she says “take some quiet time alone to rest, meditate and contemplate.”

She’s not just referring to physical chitter chatter, either. The more you quite your inner blatherings, the more in-touch with your divinity you will be.

Take a nap this weekend. Isloate yourself and ignore friends and family. They only distract you from achieving pure nirvana.

Your ego hates it when you get quiet! Remember that. Whenever you meditate, you are annoying the living crap out of your ego.

This fact alone can make meditation a more enjoyable, deliciously mischievous experience 😉

Goddess Advice for Friday! Read More »

Friday Reading: What’s YOUR Volcano Spewing?

5 Comments / March 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / March 21, 2014

Veronica Noir is a perma-drunk whippersnapper who loves to give insensitive Tarot readings, pen crude stories and sleep til noon. She is also my evil twin, which is why I let her do these horrid readings on Friday’s….

Today’s message is from the fiery goddess Pele. She says “Be honest with yourself, bitch! What is your heart’s true desire?”

Well, she doesn’t actually say “bitch”, but she totally should have.

So listen up. What do you really want?

What would make your volcano ejacul…..I mean erupt?

This weekend is all about finding explosive passion and then dancing like a crazy woman (or man).

My guess is that your in one of those “bleh, I think I’ll stay in bed today reading werewolf erotic romance novels on my kindle rather than work” moods. I know how you feel!

Now snap out of it.

What truly lights you up? What energizes you? Go do it and stop pansy-footing around your life!

Your welcome 🙂

Friday Reading: What’s YOUR Volcano Spewing? Read More »

Happy Valentine’s Day! A Message from the Virgin Goddess…

4 Comments / February 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / February 14, 2014

Veronica Noir! By day she reads Tarot, googles inappropriate words and laughs at filthy jokes. By night she slinks through the streets, preying on innocent young men, devouring their souls like a bag of Kettle Chips (Salt and Vinegar). Now she is about to give you some straight up advice on how to live your life…

Happy Valentine’s Day!

For a minute I thought Diana’s bow and arrow kind of reminded me of Cupid. Which I had to snicker at because the goddess Diana does not go in for any of that romantic shit.

According to Roman mythology, Diana was a virgin. Not a virgin in the vaginal sense, but a real virgin – a woman unto herself who was totally independent and free from all the silly marriage claptrap.

One day, this dude who was totally into her followed her to the stream where she bathed and hid behind a tree so he could be creepy and watch her. Diana doesn’t miss a trick. She spots him and turns him into a deer and then BAM! A pack of dogs rip him to shreds.

So Diana doesn’t mess around. She means what she says and does what she means.

Her message for today is this: “Keep your unwavering thoughts, feelings and actions focused on your target and you will make your mark.”

So don’t be half-assed about anything this weekend. Don’t be wishy washy. If you need to turn someone into a deer to make a point, then by all means, do it!

Happy Valentine’s Day! A Message from the Virgin Goddess… Read More »

The World: “Skip the babyshower and go to Vegas”

7 Comments / January 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / January 31, 2014

Veronica Noir, The Daily Tarot Girl’s evil counterpart, is here to kick some sense into you with her uncompassionate style of Tarot reading. She usually writes these half-drunk, so take her advice with a grain of salt…or a tablespoon!

You are a multifaceted creature – never forget it! That is what The World is sayin’ to me today.

There are many different aspects to your personality and who you are, so don’t let yourself get pigeonholed into any silly “roles” or “personas” – the world is wide open!

Lets take a gander at this card, shall we? The naked lady in the center is dancing inside an ovally, egg shaped space – and if that’s not blatant vagina symbolism, well then I don’t know what is! And she grasps a phallic object in each hand (lucky bitch).

There is something wonderfully hermaphroditic about The World and its message is that you must be both receptive and active in order to truly be Queen (or King) of your surroundings.

Make a to-do list AND meditate. Let go of trying to control everything AND make a plan of action. Say YES to things that make you feel open and free (like a trip to Vegas!) and NO to things that make you want to crawl back in bed (like a friend’s boring baby-shower).

You get the idea! Open yourself to the world by opening up to all aspects of yourself without judgement.

Because I am nosy, I want to know…how will you be expressing your “masculine” and “feminine” sides this weekend? Tell me in the comments below!

The World: “Skip the babyshower and go to Vegas” Read More »

Take action on those hot ideas you have!

12 Comments / January 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / January 24, 2014

Veronica Noir is the Daily Tarot Girl’s evil twin. She is a new age vamp who bellydances, reads Tarot and eats men for breakfast. Let’s see what diabolical advice she has for us today…

brilliant idea — Archangel Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue

Believe it or not, but you’ve had some ideas lately. Some may even call them “brilliant”. Although personally, I think that’s a bit of a stretch.

They’re okay. Your ideas are okay. In fact, they are pretty darn decent.

But if you don’t act on your ideas, they become like farts on the wind. Like a dream that you remember when you awaken but don’t bother writing down….your ideas are in danger of fading away, never to be remembered again.

Do something dammit! Take action!

That yellow angel on the unicorn isn’t just mucking about with that lightning bolt – he means business! And its time you began taking yourself (and your ideas) more seriously.

Write it all down, make little mini-action steps and for heaven’s sake, don’t let other people’s ridiculous opinions pollute your mind. This week is about YOUR ideas!

Take action on those hot ideas you have! Read More »