oracle card reading

Just Be Yourself! Aka “how to be a bitch 101”

7 Comments / August 2014, Veronica Noir / /

fridays with veronicaVeronica is the Daily Tarot Girl’s twin and a truly horrible person. When she isn’t busy turning down charities and glaring at babies, you will find her writing these Friday blog posts…doing her best to totally ruin your life…

be yourself
Magical Messages from the Fairies by Doreen Virtue

Today’s message is “BE YOURSELF“!

This is great advice…unless your a complete asshole, in which case please don’t be yourself.

But I am sure if your reading my blog, your an okay character 😉

So this card says “this situation calls for you to be your authentic self, which is the basis for your personal power.”

That’s all well and good…..but don’t forget the fact that your entire life has basically consisted of military grade training in how to be inauthentic.

People say “just be yourself!” like its as easy as sneezing in a library book or farting on a treadmill.

But it’s not!

So this weekend, I want you to practice “being yourself” and then notice the delicious chaos that results.

Here’s a true story…

Yesterday, while entering my local grocery store, a group of children congregating outside the entrance asked me for a donation to some stupid sports related thing.

In their innocent, high pitched voices they said “would you like to donate to…”

“NO!” I said and marched past them.

Now your probably thinking Veronica, why so evil?

Well, because I would rather involve myself in making the world a better place in a way that has personal meaning to me. If I donate to a cause I don’t really care about, I would only be doing it out of fear of looking like a bitch if I didn’t. Totally inauthentic!

So pay attention to when you do (or don’t do) things out of fear of what others may think. 

This is the key to being more “authentic” – and trust me, it’s waaaaay harder than farting on a treadmill.

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Shield yourself from twits

7 Comments / May 2014, Veronica Noir / /

fridays with veronicaVeronica is my evil twin. She is also many other things: nude yoga practitioner, Tarot reader, ninja-spy, painter, professional napper and erotic fiction writer. Today she gifts you with a reading from my Angel cards…

shielding
Indigo Angel Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue

Today’s card is “Shielding” and it suggests that there is someone in your life who is really starting to piss you off.

Perhaps a co-worker who brags about never taking her breaks or a spouse who drapes his sweaty workout shirts on your furniture “to dry before putting them in the laundry hamper.”

Who ever it is, you have the overwhelming urge to erect a massive bubble around you, stick your fingers in your ears and go la la la la la la la!

Ignore those obnoxious twits in your life by finding your “happy place” – creating a bubble of denial where you can immerse yourself in fantasy and daydreaming to your hearts content.

This creates an invisible energy shield and those who seek to drain your energy will find you boring, repulsive and not worth their time. YES!

art of tarot banner

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Goddess Advice for Friday!

7 Comments / March 2014, Veronica Noir / /

fridays with veronicaVeronica Noir is my batshit crazy twin sister. She is just like me except she’s brilliant, has no sense of guilt or shame, speaks her mind and does whatever she wants, when she wants! Kind of like a psychopath….but with a heart of gold. Oh, and she also reads Tarot…

Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue
Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue

Happy Friday!

The Goddess Sige is here to tell you to “shut the f*ck up!”

Oh wait, that’s not was she’s saying….she says “take some quiet time alone to rest, meditate and contemplate.”

She’s not just referring to physical chitter chatter, either. The more you quite your inner blatherings, the more in-touch with your divinity you will be.

Take a nap this weekend. Isloate yourself and ignore friends and family. They only distract you from achieving pure nirvana.

Your ego hates it when you get quiet! Remember that. Whenever you meditate, you are annoying the living crap out of your ego.

This fact alone can make meditation a more enjoyable, deliciously mischievous experience 😉

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Friday Reading: What’s YOUR Volcano Spewing?

5 Comments / March 2014, Veronica Noir / /

fridays with veronicaVeronica Noir is a perma-drunk whippersnapper who loves to give insensitive Tarot readings, pen crude stories and sleep til noon. She is also my evil twin, which is why I let her do these horrid readings on Friday’s….

pele
Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue

Today’s message is from the fiery goddess Pele. She says “Be honest with yourself, bitch! What is your heart’s true desire?”

Well, she doesn’t actually say “bitch”, but she totally should have.

So listen up. What do you really want?

What would make your volcano ejacul…..I mean erupt?

This weekend is all about finding explosive passion and then dancing like a crazy woman (or man).

My guess is that your in one of those “bleh, I think I’ll stay in bed today reading werewolf erotic romance novels on my kindle rather than work” moods. I know how you feel!

Now snap out of it.

What truly lights you up? What energizes you? Go do it and stop pansy-footing around your life!

Your welcome 🙂

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Happy Valentine’s Day! A Message from the Virgin Goddess…

4 Comments / February 2014, Veronica Noir / /

fridays with veronicaVeronica Noir! By day she reads Tarot, googles inappropriate words and laughs at filthy jokes. By night she slinks through the streets, preying on innocent young men, devouring their souls like a bag of Kettle Chips (Salt and Vinegar). Now she is about to give you some straight up advice on how to live your life…

 

diana
Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue

Happy Valentine’s Day!

For a minute I thought Diana’s bow and arrow kind of reminded me of Cupid. Which I had to snicker at because the goddess Diana does not go in for any of that romantic shit.

According to Roman mythology, Diana was a virgin. Not a virgin in the vaginal sense, but a real virgin – a woman unto herself who was totally independent and free from all the silly marriage claptrap.

One day, this dude who was totally into her followed her to the stream where she bathed and hid behind a tree so he could be creepy and watch her. Diana doesn’t miss a trick. She spots him and turns him into a deer and then BAM! A pack of dogs rip him to shreds.

So Diana doesn’t mess around. She means what she says and does what she means.

Her message for today is this: “Keep your unwavering thoughts, feelings and actions focused on your target and you will make your mark.”

So don’t be half-assed about anything this weekend. Don’t be wishy washy. If you need to turn someone into a deer to make a point, then by all means, do it!

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Be Compassionate….to nice people only

6 Comments / February 2014, Veronica Noir / /

fridays with veronicaVeronica is a slinky minx of a Tarot reader who gives awful (yet always practical) advice. She is the The Daily Tarot Girl’s evil twin and has a passion for telling it like it is, offending others and being way sexier than everybody else. She recently got into her good twin’s box of Doreen Virtue oracle cards and she’s just having a field day….

kuan yin
Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue

“Release judgments about yourself and others, and focus on the love and light that is within everyone.”

Except for the assholes. Don’t release judgements about them 😉

Kuan Yin busts onto the scene with her message of compassion, but what she’s really saying is you must learn to love all of yourself…even your inner jerk-face.

Then releasing judgments about all the other jerk-faces in your life will be a whole lot easier.

No one is one-dimensional. We all have our wonderful and terrible aspects.

That raging douche-bag who pulled out in front of you in the grocery store parking lot, causing you to slam on your breaks, sending a carton of milk flying off the passenger seat and bursting into your windshield and all over the dashboard and upholstery, also has a really lovable side to him.

Trust me….

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Take action on those hot ideas you have!

12 Comments / January 2014, Veronica Noir / /

fridays with veronicaVeronica Noir is the Daily Tarot Girl’s evil twin. She is a new age vamp who bellydances, reads Tarot and eats men for breakfast. Let’s see what diabolical advice she has for us today…

brilliant idea
Archangel Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue

Believe it or not, but you’ve had some ideas lately. Some may even call them “brilliant”. Although personally, I think that’s a bit of a stretch.

They’re okay. Your ideas are okay. In fact, they are pretty darn decent.

But if you don’t act on your ideas, they become like farts on the wind. Like a dream that you remember when you awaken but don’t bother writing down….your ideas are in danger of fading away, never to be remembered again.

Do something dammit! Take action!

That yellow angel on the unicorn isn’t just mucking about with that lightning bolt – he means business! And its time you began taking yourself (and your ideas) more seriously.

Write it all down, make little mini-action steps and for heaven’s sake, don’t let other people’s ridiculous opinions pollute your mind. This week is about YOUR ideas!

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Wednesday’s Oracle Card ~ Transformation

3 Comments / October 2013 / /
vibrational-energy-oracle
Vibrational Energy Oracle Cards by Debbie A. Anderson

You are in a period of transformation at the moment – transitioning from one phase to the next. It helps to know this and to be gentle to yourself as you grow your wings 🙂

Emerging into an expanded and free version of yourself isn’t easy. Some days it can feel awful, confusing and frustrating. But think of the butterfly and process it goes through in the cocoon.

Everyday you have the option of changing and transforming yourself and how you see and experience things. Nothing stays the same, even if you sometimes think so.

It’s time to get out of your own way and let your wings emerge!

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