Veronica Noir is a perma-drunk whippersnapper who loves to give insensitive Tarot readings, pen crude stories and sleep til noon. She is also my evil twin, which is why I let her do these horrid readings on Friday’s….
Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue
Today’s message is from the fiery goddess Pele. She says “Be honest with yourself, bitch! What is your heart’s true desire?”
Well, she doesn’t actually say “bitch”, but she totally should have.
What would make your volcano ejacul…..I mean erupt?
This weekend is all about finding explosive passion and then dancing like a crazy woman (or man).
My guess is that your in one of those “bleh, I think I’ll stay in bed today reading werewolf erotic romance novels on my kindle rather than work” moods. I know how you feel!
Now snap out of it.
What truly lights you up? What energizes you? Go do it and stop pansy-footing around your life!
Veronica is my evil twin. She’s a sassy psychic with a flair for penning filthy short stories, online shopping and peanut butter fudge. When she’s not busy reading werewolf erotica and getting drunk on Kombucha tea, she’s writing this column….
Anna K Tarot
Today’s Tarot card is the Knight of Rods. Tee hee hee! Rods!
This manly man rockin’ the chain-mail seems to be erecting some sort of flag. He’s gearing up to stab in into the ground, penetrating the Earth in his proclamation of ownership. Similar to a dog peeing on a fire hydrant.
What are you proud of? What do you stand for?
Today is the day to celebrate it and own it.
Mark your territory. Pee on something. Make it yours!
This weekend is all about going after what you want with a fiery, blazing, possessive passion. Whether your after a new lover, a fancy-dancy career or something more bizarre, the message is clear:
Picture this: the candles are lit, Nag Champa incense is wafting about the room, a cozy fire is crackling in the background (or if your like me, your “fireplace” dvd is crackling in the background), and your hunkered down at your dining room table, giving your best friend a Tarot reading…
Your friend asks something typical like “Is Gary my soulmate?”
You roll your eyes, draw a card and…WTF?! It’s The Heirophant.
“F*ck!” you think. “What on Earth does that mean?!”
Card image is from The Rider-Waite Tarot Deck published by U.S.Games Systems, Inc.
Of course, you know exactly what The Hierophant means all on its own, but you have no idea what it means in relation to the question being asked.
Reading Tarot can sometimes feels like deciphering hieroglyphics. All you want is a clear answer and instead you end up feeling more and more confused!
This actually used to happen to me ALL THE TIME. And if I am being 100% honest with you, it still happens every now and then 😉 But luckily I have gotten my shit together and come up with some handy dandy ways to get around this annoying issue.
Tip #1: Put on Your Glasses
Have you ever heard that expression “looking at the world through rose-tinted lenses”? You want to look at the confusing Tarot card through situation-tinted lenses. Let me explain…
When you get a Tarot card that just doesn’t make sense, picture yourself calmly sliding on a pair of glasses, like Corey Hart in his Sunglasses at Night video…
Now imagine that these are magic glasses that will help you see the Tarot card in light of the particular issue.
So for the reading I mentioned earlier, you would put on your “soulmate searching” glasses and ask “in regards to finding one’s soulmate, what message does this card have for my friend?”
Look at the Tarot card:
Let go of the traditional card meaning for a sec and just see what pops into your head. Notice what symbol your attention is drawn to. Doing this gives your intuition a chance to come out and play.
Example: When I do this for The Hierophant (above), I suddenly notice that there are two identical pillars, two identical monks side by side and two keys crossed. This makes me think aha! soulmates! but then there’s that pesky Hierophant coming between them. So I might say that there is soulmate possibility, but there is a powerful force keeping them apart right now.
But what if The Hierophant had come up in a reading about career/life purpose?
As I slide on my magic glasses, I notice that this card really exudes authority and tradition. This could suggest your life purpose is to be an authority figure of some type, but it may require years of formal study. Or it could mean your life purpose will be intimately intertwined with spirituality.
Look at the “traditional meaning”:
Now that you’ve unleashed your intuition, it’s time to indulge your intellect! Take a look at the traditional card meaning through your magic glasses and see how it relates to your question.
According to the little white book that came with my Universal Waite Tarot deck, The Hierophant means “marriage alliance, captivity, servitude, mercy and goodness, inspiration, the man to whom the querent has recourse.”
So how could I bend this definition to shed light on the question “Is Gary my soulmate?”
Well, well, well! I might say that marriage to Gary would make sense in a socially acceptable, conform to society kind of way. Perhaps she really wants Gary to be her soul mate because marriage to him may solve many of her problems. But ultimately, this will make her feel trapped. This doesn’t really answer the question, but it does suggest that rushing into marriage isn’t necessary.
Here’s my demonstration of how to read a Tarot card in many different contexts:
Tip #2: Practice Looking at Each Tarot Card in Many Different Ways
Let’s take The Chariot. What might it mean if it came up in a reading about career? About love? About health?
Typically The Chariot is all about moving forward, success, etc, but what if it appears in the “things that are blocking me” position in a reading?
Doing this will require you to really ponder each card, its symbols and even look up the meanings in your book. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box. Consider both the negative and positive aspects of the card.
Card image is from The Rider-Waite Tarot Deck published by U.S.Games Systems, Inc.
Example: The Chariot: Career – advancing quickly
Love – triumph, success in romance
Health – health is improving, but keep things balanced
Block – too driven, need to slow down and relax
Negatives – too focused on “success” and getting to the destination, parts of the self being in disagreement (especially if the horses are going in different directions)
Tarot is meant to be flexible. When you first learn Tarot, its all about memorizing the specific card meanings, and this can put you in a rigid frame of mind. But as you develop your reading skills, the challenge is in using the context to bend and grow the card meanings.
This exercise helps your mind get used to looking at a Tarot card from all angles and contexts.
Tip #3: Don’t always expect your Tarot cards to give you a clear answer!
Sometimes a Tarot card will be the doorway to discovering your own solutions and answers, but it will not be the answer itself.
The images on a Tarot card may lead you on a trip down memory lane, steer you into a particular train of thought or an idea may be sparked. So don’t go chucking out your cards if they don’t make sense right away! Be willing to explore 🙂
Let me know what you think!
♥ What happened when you tried out this technique?
♥ Do you have a favorite trick for reading a Tarot card in a specific context?
Veronica is my evil twin. And oh my god is she evil! The contents of her Kindle are filthy, filthy, filthy, and her mind isn’t much better. The advice she gives via her Tarot cards is one stop short of crazy, but her intentions are pure. So every Friday I let her go batshit…
The Animal Wisdom Tarot by Dawn Brunke
Today is a good day to act like a sociopath. At least that’s what I think this card is trying to say.
The Eagle, Guardian of Feathers (aka King of Swords) is here to tell you not to get all emotional and touchy feely about everything. Be cool. Be calm. Detach.
I watched a documentary on eagles last week and those birds are horrible creatures. They don’t give a shit about anyone’s feelings! They push their infant siblings out of the nest and sometimes even eat them alive as soon as they hatch (provided the mama eagle isn’t around).
These giant winged jerks look out for number one. Get in the way of an Eagle and he will pluck your eyes out and won’t even feel a twinge of guilt.
So what can you learn from these airborne psychopaths?
I think Eagle gives us permission to be cool and detached every now and then. Just because you sometimes want to peck the brains and eyes out of your coworkers doesn’t mean you aren’t “spiritual”.
After all, the Eagle is a spiritual symbol. How such a mean bird managed to claim such a high place on the spiritual animal hierarchy is a mystery. Wrens and Robins – perfectly nice birds – are totally looked over.
So let that be a lesson.
In the comments below, tell me which animal you think gets waaaay to much undeserved attention…
Did you know that each card in your Tarot deck symbolizes a particular event, person, place or thing in your life?
Here’s a little Tarot trick that will help you remember the meanings of each Tarot card AND connect to your Tarot deck like it was your long lost twin. Major bang for your buck.
Now snuggle up with a hot mug of chai and let me share this trick with you and tell you a story…
Step One
First, go through your Tarot cards and pick out the card that seems to be saying “pick meeeeee!”
Or, if your feeling all emo, pick the card you despise the most.
Now ask yourself: what does this card remind me of? What part of my life is it referring to?
What is the feeling evoked by this card? When in your life did you feel that feeling most strongly?
If you feel like writing, you can record your thoughts in your Tarot Journal.
My Horror Story
The card I chose for this exercise was the Three of Swords. Not because I like this card, but because it evokes a very horrific memory for me…
Three of Swords from the Robin Wood Tarot
It was 1995. I was at my high school Valentine’s Day dance, trying to work up the nerve to ask my “crush” to dance.
I had been obsessing over this particular boy and his deliciously hairless legs for an eternity (at least 4 weeks) and all I wanted was to press my body up against him for three solid minutes while TLC’s “Red Light Special” warbled in the background. I wasn’t asking for much.
“Do you want to dance?” I asked, very nonchalantly I might add. (I had been mentally rehearsing this moment for weeks!)
And he went “Pfffft”, rolling his eyes and awkwardly looking away. “I promised someone else a dance and now I’m looking for them.”
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! My life came crashing down around me with the sudden, shocking, piercing realization that this boy with the shiny bowl cut hair did not like me back. HE DID NOT LIKE ME BACK!
I was forever jaded.
And that’s how you do it! Pick a card and then take a trip down memory lane. Now, if your own “memory lane” is pitch dark or bubbling with excrement, just skip straight to step two…
Step Two
Take things even further by asking: what aspect of my present life does this card symbolize?
Doing this simple task will make your Tarot card(s) relevant to your life NOW.
Personally, the Three of Swords sums up how I feel every time my date movie suggestions get shot down by my partner. Which is pretty much all the time.
Step Three
Now if you really want to take this Tarot exercise even further, do it for:
All the cards you can’t stand! (for me this is the Five of Swords and that cold bitch Justice)
The cards you really love
The cards that confuse the hell out of you!
 Have fun with this and tell me how it went in the comments below…
Veronica Noir is a mysteriously delinquent Tarot reader who travels the world, diving with sharks and dancing on tabletops. Her advice is horrific at best, yet often surprisingly helpful. Let’s see what she has to say about the Page of Cups…
Housewives Tarot
Happy Friday! The Page of Cups is a sneaky little twerp and he is here with a very specific message just for you:
“I know you sometimes get depressed when you go on Facebook and see that everyone seems to be having a better time than you. But don’t be fooled. Most of those people are totally miserable. Party on!”
Gosh, what a strange thing for him to just say out of the blue. Oh well, that’s the Page of Cups for you!
Have some fun this weekend by focusing on doing silly, unproductive things – like finger-painting, collecting rocks on the beach, googling dirty words, rolling around naked in a pile of mud – you know, the usual “inner child” stuff.
The more fun you have, the less you will resent those assholes on Facebook for pretending to be having the time of their lives 24-7.
In the comments below tell me what silly things you have planned this weekend…
Veronica is The Daily Tarot Girl’s evil twin. She is a whip cracking dominatrix by night and a professional napper by day. When she isn’t giving dreadful Tarot readings on this blog, you can find her spying on her neighbors, writing smutty stories and getting up to all kinds of mischief! Here’s her take on the Six of Swords…
New Palladini Tarot
This weekend is all about traveling to greener land.
You have a clearer picture on where your going, your making phone calls, taking notes, getting your act together. Good for you.
But the Six of Swords reminds me of something I once read in a self-help book I stole from my good twin Kate – wherever you go, you take yourself with you.Â
You can change the scene and the players, but if you keep your head down and ignore your own role in the shit charade, then you are doomed to re-create the same drama wherever you are. You must shift your thoughts before you truly shift your reality. But lets not talk about that….
Lets talk about the golden boat your riding in (see card above) and those green virgin hills your about to plunder. Things are looking good! Sexy times are on the horizon…if only you’d look up! If only you’d look up!
In the comments below, tell me what kind of shift/change your making this week (god I love being nosy!)
Veronica Noir is a reader of smut, drinker of cocktails and all round horrible person. She is the Daily Tarot Girl’s evil twin and unfortunately for you, she also reads Tarot….
The Intuitive Tarot by Cilla Conway
This is the time of year when you usually “set goals” and make predictable “resolutions”.
BORING!
Think of the universe. Think of all the planets, stars, interstellar bullshit and whatnot…..now think of your New Year’s resolution.
“Well, this year I plan to cut back on eating refined carbohydrates and sugar,” you might say “and get out for more walks.” ZZZZZZZZ! That’s lame.
You are a sexy, multidimensional warrior of life, capable of sooooo much more than you even know. So stop mincing around with safe “goals” and start living!
Be like the naked prancer in The Worldcard – throw your head back as a maniacal laugh escapes your throat and open your arms to life. Skip through fields of possibility and dance on oceans of joy. Oooh, I’m feeling all poetic!
But really, there is so much more to this world than setting goals and then achieving them. Goal setting should be used as a “tool” to create what you want, but not as the whole focus. This year, your world is wide open….so don’t hold back!
Veronica Noir is a perma-drunk whippersnapper who loves to give insensitive Tarot readings, pen crude stories and sleep til noon. She is also my evil twin, which is why I let her do these horrid readings on Friday’s….
