Veronica solves all your problems…

fridays with veronicaVeronica is my evil twin/alter ego and instead of her usual Friday Tarot reading, she is taking a break over the holidays to help you solve some of your biggest problems….agony aunt style! She has taken the best questions from the Daily Tarot Girl Facebook page and will now attempt to dish out some sassy advice. And you just know that she wrote this column while taking generous sips (or gulps) of spiced wine while her latest boy toy paraded around in an indecent Santa costume. Enjoy!

Question: Dear Veronica, I’m having the nastiest bout of un-productiveness. I just want to sit around sipping mimosas and binge watching Netflix when I need to be writing articles for my blog, doing housework, Christmas shopping and working on personal creative projects. Whatever shall I do to motivate myself? Thank you for your boundless wisdom.
Sarah D

Veronica: Sarah, you silly banana, what on Earth is wrong with that?! That sounds like a regular evening at my house. You say you need to be doing all these horribly boring things – but do you really? Clearly you don’t actually want to. The lazy, TV loving, booze swilling part of yourself is running the show – your own inner Veronica! So the trick is to make these awful tasks you deem so important, seductive enough to lure your inner Veronica to accomplish them!

Here are some ideas….

1. Do your housework naked with the blinds open. Not only will this make a dull task feel more footloose and fancy-free, but it will offend your neighbors! Bonus!

2. Do your Christmas shopping online. Naked. With the blinds open. Just kidding! Go Christmas shopping somewhere fun – like downtown – and avoid depressing big chain stores with horrid lighting and shitty Christmas music blaring. Take a lavish lunch break at a fancy restaurant and indulge in appys, main dish, drinks and dessert! And maybe do it all without wearing panties? Now there’s an idea…

panties
skip these

3. Write blog posts that are a little bit daring. The reason you can’t motivate yourself to write is because your subject matter isn’t enticing you. After a while a blog can start to feel a lot like monogamy. Give yourself permission to write about something a bit different. What would the Netflix loving/Mimosa chugging part of yourself want to write about? Start there!

Good luck snapping out of your TV/booze haze, Sarah. Although really, I don’t know why you’d want to 😉

xoxo
Veronica

Question: Hi Veronica,what advice do you have for me for coping with stress?
Indie Tarot

Veronica: The only reason you’re stressed is because you’re thinking too much about your problems and thinking you have to actually solve them. You don’t. Problems cease to exist when you stop thinking about them. It’s like the old saying “if a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, did it make a sound?”

If you have lots of problems and responsibilities but you never think about them, are they problems?

Do whatever you can to distract yourself from the crushing pressure of whatever is stressing you out. Watch lots of reality TV, post to Facebook multiple times a day declaring how great your life is and maybe start drinking more. That seems to work for most people.

But if that seems horribly shallow to you, you can try this technique which is my favorite stress buster: the next time you feel stressed, close your eyes, take a deep breath and imagine the planet 100 years in the future, totally destroyed by nukes, or aliens or whatever and repeat to yourself “in 100 years none of this will even matter”.

 

Ahhh…sweet relief!

Hang in there Indie, the stress will pass 🙂

xoxo
Veronica

If you would like Veronica to solve one of your problems, in her special, bitchy way, please just reply to this post with your question!

 

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Asking YES/NO Questions with Your Tarot Cards

I am just going to come right out and say it….

The surefire way to get confused as f*ck is to ask your Tarot deck Yes/No questions.

In my opinion, Yes/No questions + the Tarot just don’t mix. The Tarot is an amazing tool for inquiring about things and making discoveries. But it is total shit at answering Yes/No questions.

I know, I know, it’s so tempting to ask. I do it all the time. Even though I know that Yes/No questions never really work well with Tarot, I ask them all the time….and I always end up confused and frustrated.

Why is the Tarot so hopeless at answering your Yes/No questions?

Here’s my take on it – the Tarot is a reflection of the world around you. If you study your deck closely you will see that all the archetypes, emotions, everyday challenges and joys are all depicted in the Tarot.

Our world is complex, messy, interconnected and bursting with colour, sensation and vibration. We don’t live in a black and white world where everything is distinct, separate, clean and neat. And Yes/No questions are black and white.

But here’s a sneaky way to get your Yes/No questions answered anyway…

All you need to do is rephrase your Yes/No Tarot question.

For example, if I want to ask “should I seduce my 19 year old neighbor, yes or no?” I could rephrase it as “how do you feel about me seducing my 19 year old neighbor?” (in this case the you could refer to your higher self, the universe, your spirit guides – whoever it is your trying to communicate with via your Tarot deck)

Asking open ended questions when working with your Tarot cards will make for much better readings and less confusion.

Let me demonstrate this concept a little more….

Today I asked my Tarot deck “should I take a month off to travel around Costa Rica in 2015? Yes or no?” and I pulled the Seven of Pentacles from the Anna K Tarot deck:

7 of pentacles
Anna K Tarot

I was confused at first. Does this mean “yes, but be patient” or does it mean “no, you should be focusing on work”?

So I rephrased my question and asked “How do you feel about me taking a month off to travel around Costa Rica in 2015?” and then I took another look at this card.

Suddenly, it all seemed very clear! A few months ago I planted some seeds (aka started some projects) and those “seeds” have taken root and are beginning to sprout. If I go away now, those shoots will die from neglect. I need to tend to my garden (garden = my life and my creative/business projects) first and once things are more established, then I can take off for a month. I need to be patient now – patient with my projects and business and patient because I will get to go to Costa Rica eventually, just not right now.

So not only did I understand that the answer to my question was NO, I could see the reasons why it was a no and what I needed to focus on in the meantime.

Here are some other ways to rephrase your Yes/No Tarot questions:

1. What is the potential of ___________________?
For example, “should I accept this job offer? Yes or No?” becomes “what is the potential of accepting this job offer?”

2. How would I feel if I ________________?
For example, “should I sell my house now?” becomes “how would I feel if I sold my house now?”

3. What would be the outcome of ____________ vs ____________?
For example, “should I marry Bob or Dave?” becomes “what would be the outcome of marrying Bob?” – draw a card – “vs marrying Dave?” – draw a second card.

Your turn!

What Yes/No question do you have for your Tarot cards? Try one of my alternate rephrases and see how it goes! Feel free to share all about it in the comments below 🙂

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Radical holiday ideas from Veronica

fridays with veronicaVeronica is my evil Tarot reading twin. She enjoys sneaking in dirty gifts at her workplace’s Secret Santa party, avoiding shopping malls and buying herself lavish gifts on Amazon.com. Let’s read her advice for the holiday season….

silence
Osho Zen Tarot

Meditation is like telling your mind to shut the fuck up.

And this card, Silence (aka The Star) is telling you to do just that.

During the holiday season, your mind is probably all like “what should I take to the party? when will I get all my shopping done? What am I going to buy for this person and that person?”

Don’t buy anyone anything this year. It’s all going to end up in a landfill in a couple of years anyway.

Give the gift of silence this Christmas.

Instead of presents, how about presence?

Gosh, I’m witty!

But what this card’s really saying is take some time out from all the pointless parties, socializing with irritating family members and horrific shopping excursions and connect with the deepest part of yourself.

This will allow you to be fully present at your next nightmare inducing social gathering so you won’t have to chug dirty martinis all night just to get through it.

Although, that doesn’t sound so bad after all!

In the comments below, tell me what Christmas event/party/obligation you will be skipping this year…just because?

december special readings

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Veronica shows you how to be lazy…

fridays with veronicaVeronica is my evil twin. I let her write on my blog only on Fridays. She is a part time Tarot reader, full time gangster of fabulousness. While you can find her many places…you won’t find her volunteering, attending lame office Christmas parties or pretending to like children…

laziness
Osho Zen Tarot

Today’s card is Laziness (aka Nine of Cups) from the Osho Zen Tarot.

Laziness – it’s the greatest taboo in our culture while simultaneously being dangled in our faces like a carrot called “retirement”.

Don’t put off rest and relaxation for when your retired – that’s one of those creepy ideas that the social control system churns out to trick you into working yourself to death.

Laziness is a fine art which requires practice, practice, practice!

So if you don’t master it now, don’t expect to retire and “poof!” suddenly be able to just sit back and chill out while binge watching old episodes of  The Vampire Diaries on Netflix. It just won’t happen.

But hear me when I say laziness is a fine art. You have to be careful not to overdo it.

Laziness, while artfully done, always feels good, nourishing and a little bit naughty. But if it makes you feel de-motivated, irritable and hating all of humanity, then you’ve fucked up big time.

So this weekend….be a bit lazy. And if some twit says “keeping busy?” when they run into you on the street, say “NO” and watch what happens!

 

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Tarot challenge! What should Markus do?

It’s time for a Tarot challenge!

Are you ready?

Okay, here’s your situation:

You are doing a Tarot reading for Markus, a smouldering hot 25 year old. Markus is an artist – he specializes in painting pixies and water nymphs and he is really quite talented. But he can’t seem to make a living from his art, so for the past five years he’s been working nights stocking shelves at a sex toy distribution company’s warehouse.

He is fairly happy in his life but his dream is to paint pixies full time and quit his night job. He asks you “how can I be more financially successful with my art?”

You draw two cards: The Hermit and the Seven of Wands.

tarot challenge markus
Crystal Visions Tarot

How would you interpret these two cards? What advice would you give Markus?

Please feel free to leave your interpretation in the comments below!

The purpose of this exercise is to practice your Tarot reading skills. Markus is just a character and situation I made up.

Click here to see how I interpreted these cards +

Markus, it's clear to me that spending time alone, meditating and pondering things will help bring about a solution for you (The Hermit). When your right in the thick of things it can be hard to see the forest through the trees and this is why you aren't sure how to make more money from your art. Get some distance and perspective from it - detach emotionally and look at your art through a different lens - a clear path will emerge eventually. Detaching might mean not taking things personally when it comes to your art, which leads me to the next card - the Seven of Wands.

The Seven of Wands shows that you are feeling defensive about this issue, like making money from your work will mean you have to be competitive or something. It also shows me that you fear attack and criticism. Perhaps part of you really fears having your art judged and critiqued and deemed unworthy. This seems to be the energy that is holding you back and creating fear for you.

The more you relax and let go of this idea, the more quickly you will earn and income from your art. Perhaps letting go of those fears will make you feel more comfortable about putting yourself out there and even networking with other artists. Again, look at The Hermit and notice how calm and detached she is - other's opinions don't define her, so she doesn't fear them.

One theme I notice is that both The Hermit and the guy in Seven of Wands are on cliffs or pedestals. The advantage of this is that you have a nice view of things - a birds eye view. The downside is that you have farther to fall. You may fear that once you attain success you could lose it, or people will judge you more harshly. It's clear you have much passionate and fiery energy around your art (Wands), but it needs to be balanced with the calm, cool and intuitive nature of The Hermit. Meditation, nature walks and reflection will help you discern the voice of your intuition from the voice of your ego so that you can let go of fear and pursue your dream with newfound energy, enthusiasm and calmness.

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Notice the Good Shit!

fridays with veronicaVeronica is my sassy, foul-mouthed twin and she’s here to inject some fabulousness into your life! Let’s see what she has to say about the Nine of Pentacles….

9 pentacles
Tarot of Mermaids

When you go off looking for the good stuff, you’re likely to find it.

The Nine of Pentacles is all about total enjoyment of your surroundings. And you can start by noticing what’s awesome about your life right now.

No, I’m not going to say “make a gratitude list, be grateful for what you have,” because YUCK! who wants to hear that?

Personally, I’ve had enough of preachy spiritual types telling me to practice “gratitude”. They can suck it.

But I love to appreciate the good things in life – like shutting off my alarm clock and going back to sleep when it’s dark and rainy outside. Or the feel of two boy-toys massaging my feet while the third one feeds me profiteroles. Or just knowing that my kindle has nearly 1,000 filthy unread novels waiting for me….

It’s the simple things, really.

So if you want to make your life more fabulous, make a list.

No, not a gratitude list. Call it a “Delicious List” and list everything in your life that is deliciously wonderful.

Then just sit back and let the good times roll….

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Interview with Tarot Author Benebell Wen

Join me as I chat with Benebell Wen, Tarot Master and author of the upcoming book Holistic Tarot.

We discuss a variety of Tarot topics including:

♥ The different ways to learn Tarot

♥ Advice for Tarot newbies

♥ The 3 main Tarot traditions – Rider-Waite-Smith, Marseilles and Thoth

♥  Some of the big Tarot misconceptions

and more….

Find out more about Benebell and her work at benebellwen.com

Order your copy of Holistic Tarot right here.

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Veronica’s advice: Start gossiping!

fridays with veronicaVeronica is my evil twin who spends her time getting tipsy, reading politically incorrect “romance” novels and just being all around fabulous. Let’s see how she’s twisted the meaning of the Two of Cups to fit her nefarious worldview….

2 of cups
Morgan-Greer Tarot

Gossiping is GOOD for you!

With the Two of Cups we have two people connecting intensely and it’s probably because she’s saying “OMG, have you heard what Joanne’s husband did?” and he’s all like “GASP! No! Spill the beans, sister!”

Sure, you hear some people saying things like “oh, I never gossip” or “gossiping is negative, I just don’t engage in it”

You know what I call that?

Boring. Fucking boring.

Gossiping about people you know with people who also know them can magically transform a workplace from dull to riveting!

Gossiping can turn a lame party into a den of fascinating chitter chatter.

And best of all, it gives you something to talk about with someone you’d otherwise have nothing to talk about.

So stop judging yourself for loving a little gossip. SO WHAT! It’s not the worst thing you could be doing.

Now get out there and say something bitchy about someone you hardly know!

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You don’t ALWAYS have to be a bitch…

fridays with veronicaVeronica is my evil twin, alter ego and professional bon bon eater. She reclines on her chaise lounger gazing down on the world like a maliciously sexy cat. Let’s see what she has to say about the Six of Cups….

6 of cups
Morgan-Greer Tarot

Do you remember The Rules? It was the dating advice book that Cosmopolitan magazine had a huge ladyboner for in the mid 90’s.

Anyway, its packed with valuable advice like how to be cold an distant and mysterious. Essential skills for any woman looking to trap a man in her net of deceit and trickery! Ha!

Well, this is NOT what the Six of Cups is about.

There is a time when being a bitch is healthy, necessary and preferable. But today is not that time.

Today, it’s okay to be warm, loving and kind. Even to strangers.

I know, I know, it’s hard.

If you fear that being helpful and supportive to someone will only make you vulnerable, relax. It’s just for one day. No one will take advantage of you. It’s okay.

And you don’t have to play all hard to get this weekend either. Help a friend out. Let people know you appreciate them. Try not to tell anyone to fuck off today.

Just for today.

Tomorrow you can go back to hating everyone…

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Veronica’s Bitchy Take on The Hanged Man…

fridays with veronicaVeronica is my evil twin and alter ego. She lives in a world of red feather boas, salted caramels and gorgeous man-sluts. Having mastered the fine arts of leisure and pleasure and is here to slap some sense into you with her deck of Tarot cards…..

hanged man
Housewives Tarot

Today’s Tarot card is The Hanged Man and it’s message is as clear as day – if someone’s annoying you today, hang them out to dry!

There’s someone in your life who is more demanding than necessary. Maybe more than one person. Always wanting you to rearrange your schedule to suit their bullshit needs.

Normally, you rush and scramble to cater to these fucks. Well, no more. No More!

Your time is fucking gold. People should be tripping over themselves to be gifted with even a mere moment of your precious attention.

And yet your good friend wants to reschedule your lunch date today for 45 minutes later because she’s waiting for the UPS guy to show up with the new juicer she ordered. Um….WTF?!

Or maybe your pesky client just doesn’t show up for their appointment with you. Typical.

Don’t get all flustered and be all like “hmf, hmf, nobody respects me! People treat me like crap!”

Nip that shit in the bud. Don’t give second chances. Don’t say horribly untrue things like “It’s okay, I understand. Sure. We can reschedule. No problem, I don’t mind.”

Because doing that kills your soul….slowly.

Even if all you have on your schedule for today are naps, reading, and more naps….it doesn’t matter. Stop being so damn flexible!

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