My Interpretation of These 3 Craptastic Cards (Tarot Challenge)

Last week, I posed a “Tarot Challenge“, where I asked you to interpret this reading in a positive, empowering way.

First of all, I’ve been LOVING all the comments! I waited until I had written my own interpretation to read everyone’s responses, because I knew it would influence how I saw the cards.

And before I get into my own take on the cards, I just want to say…

Thank you!!!

Big hugs to everyone who participated in this “Tarot Challenge” – it was so much fun to read through your take on the cards. Honestly, I am blown away by the insights and wisdom in all the responses and I feel somewhat intimidated, but also very very lucky to have such brilliant Tarot readers reading my blog!

I think I may do a “Tarot Challenge” each month from now on, as I think its an awesome way to practice and learn 🙂

As promised, here is my own interpretation of these cards:

negative-tarot-cards
Universal Waite Tarot

Just to refresh your memory, I am doing this reading for Xavier (a sexy, make believe person) and his issue is this: “my life is not going anywhere. I have been stuck in the same crappy job for the past 6 years, living in my parents basement and have been single for 3 years. I can’t seem to meet the right person, no matter what I do. It feels like I am not progressing in life and I have no idea why or what I can do to change things. Help!”

I ended up reading these cards in a past/present/future framework because that is what seemed to work best for me.

 

The Ten of Swords

ten of swordsMy attention is immediately drawn to the center card and it kind of makes me chuckle that for someone who complains of being “stuck”, the guy in the Ten of Swords is quite literally stuck – with ten swords!

For the most part, I feel that the Ten of Swords is simply illustrating how you feel right now.

But number 10 cards often symbolize an ending of a phase and this shows that, although it may not feel like it now, things will be on the upswing sooner than you expect.

The Tower

the towerThe Tower has shown up in the past position, which suggests you had some kind of shock a few years back that has caused you to feel a bit fearful about taking risks and moving forward.

Perhaps this card refers to the end of a relationship, loss of a job or even some kind of upheaval within your family. But whatever it was it made you appreciate and yearn for  safety and comfort.

This desire for comfort and safety has often kept you stuck and you may catch yourself thinking things like “better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know.”

The sooner you can let go of that mindset, the quicker you will move forward with things and create change. Do you have a thirst for adventure? For taking the odd risk? For trying new things?

Try changing just one habit you have or doing just one new thing a week. For example, go indoor rock climbing or to see a movie by yourself – anything as long as its something different from your normal routine. This will help shake things up energetically and get things moving in a new direction.

I suspect there is something you have been wanting to do for a while now, but you keep hesitating and holding back. Now is the time to do that thing!

Also, using the affirmation “it is safe for me to create change in my life” will be very helpful to you as you move forward.

If you can, write those words down on an index card and tape it up somewhere you can see it everyday, like your bathroom mirror. Yes, I know that sounds really lame and self-helpy, but try it!

Death

deathDeath shows up in the “future” position and thank God for that!

Death ultimately means change. The end of something which will always precedes a new beginning. Nothing is meant to last forever. And really, what a relief that is!

So big change is on the horizon for you, but in order for those changes to happen, you really need to let go of many things.

You will most likely need to release old thinking patterns, limiting self-beliefs, the fear of change (which we all have to some degree) and embrace a new way of thinking and being in the world.

This sounds like an enormous task, but don’t let it overwhelm you. What are a couple of things you could do this week that would help you get on the track to changing your thoughts and feelings?

[If Xavier can’t think of anything, then I might suggest a meditation technique, a book or journaling exercise. I find it’s more powerful if he comes up with something on his own, because often we know deep down what things we need to do in order to create change.]

The “Big Picture” view

When I look at all these cards together, I notice that movement is the theme that really stands out. Let me explain.

In The Tower, we have downward movement (the figures are falling) showing a feeling of loss of control. This lead you to feeling stuck, which is shown by the Ten of Swords where there is no movement happening at all. Then, with Death, forward motion is finally happening! And of course, the sun is rising in the distance. It is the dawn of a new day in your life and today is the turning point.

Xavier, what you do today will determine what happens tomorrow, so embrace your own power to create change in your life. Don’t wait around for something to happen. Get out there and do stuff!

A tip for interpreting “negative” Tarot cards

See if you can come up with at least one or two action steps – this adds that empowering element to a reading.

For example, in this reading I used the Death card to come up with some things Xavier could do (journalling, meditation or reading a book) that would help him change his mindset.

Your client (or you, if your reading for yourself) will come away from the reading feeling like they have something they can actually do about things, rather than feel helpless and powerless.

*If you enjoyed this topic, I will be unveiling my brand new e-course The Art of Tarot: How to Read a Negative Card in a Positive Light this month. It will be chalk-full of tips like this, as well as videos, audio lessons, fun worksheets and more!

 

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Advice from The Magician!

fridays with veronicaVeronica Noir is my evil twin who is way more badass than myself. She is 10 x hotter, smarter and crazier than me and every Friday I let her do a one card reading on my blog. Her advice is always dreadful and sometimes even a bit rude. So without further ado…

the magician
Cosmic Tarot

Today’s Tarot card is The Magician and this magician in particular has a real panty-melting stare!

He seems to be encouraging you to put intensity into all that you do today. Don’t half-ass it, don’t be soft, don’t shuffle through it. Go full tilt!

The Magician is all about harnessing energy and then directing it to a specific goal.

If there’s something you want, you need to go after it like a sexual predator. No holds barred. Bystanders be damned!

One way to do this is to notice what your “energy drains” are. If your exhausted all the time, you sure as f*ck aren’t going to feel like goal setting.

For me, my energy drains are: boring people, grocery shopping, The John Tesh radio show and reality TV.

What are yours? Tell me all in the comments below!

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How would YOU interpret this reading?

Are you up for a Tarot challenge?

Good!

Okay, so let’s say your giving a reading to a close friend (lets call him Xavier, because that’s a pretty sexy name).

He moans “my life is not going anywhere. I have been stuck in the same crappy job for the past 6 years, living in my parents basement and have been single for 3 years. I can’t seem to meet the right person, no matter what I do. It feels like I am not progressing in life and I have no idea why or what I can do to change things. Help!”

You shuffle the deck and this is what comes up:

negative-tarot-cards

Now, how would YOU interpret these cards?

But here’s the “challenge”: How would you interpret these cards in a way that is uplifting and empowering, without being sugarcoated?

*Please note that I am not using any particular spread, so you can interpret these cards any way you like.

What advice would you give Xavier?

Feel free to share your interpretation in the comments below – I can’t wait to see what you come up with!

In one week, I will post my own interpretation here. But remember there are many, many ways to interpret this reading – there is no one “right” way. So put on your Tarot reading glasses and go to town!

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The 9 of Swords…and why you need to nap more

fridays with veronicaVeronica is my crazed evil twin who reads Tarot, takes long naps and eats men for breakfast. Always sarcastic, slightly witty and a true hedonist, lets hear what she has to say this week…

crow
Animal Wisdom Tarot by Dawn Brunke

Do you ever notice how crows are nefarious little birds? Always watching and plotting and much smarter than you suspect.

That’s because they use their minds for crafty, up to no good behavior and that is what you should do.

You have a crafty, nefarious mind too, but sometimes it uses you and not the other way around.

If your mind is going a mile a minute and just won’t shut the fuck up while you try to fall asleep at night, then you need to get your ass in gear.

Your mind is a tool. Use it. But don’t let it rule you!

Speaking of sleep, this weekend is a good time to catch up on some beauty sleep, one of my favorite hobbies.

Here are my tips for a good nap:

  • Convert your bondage blindfold into a sleep mask to block out the pesky sunlight
  • Always nap alone. Kick your boy-toy out of your bedroom for once!
  • Nap with your head at the foot of your bed – this is so you don’t associate your beauty nap with night time sleep and it just makes things so much more interesting.

Have a napilicious weekend 🙂

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Nine of Wands: Start Aiming Lower…

fridays with veronicaVeronica Noir is a Tarot reader extraordinaire, serial man-eater and my evil twin sister. She likes telling people what to do, loudly saying the F-word at the grocery store and deeply inhaling sage smoke – its cleansing, right? Here is her weekly dose of Tarot guidance, just in time for the weekend…

9 of wands
Housewive’s Tarot

Success is sweet because once you are high up, you get to look down on everyone.

But then you start to fantasize that everyone’s out to get you, trying to knock you down and stomp on your face.

Success is stressful!

But nothing says zen-bliss like mediocrity. Sometimes its nice to just aim for blandness, middle of the road, average and unimpressive.

Sliding in under the radar is the most underrated, hedonistic pleasure.

“Reach for the stars!” annoying people say.

I like to reach for the glow in the dark stars on my bedroom ceiling that were haphazardly stuck on by the previous resident of my apartment. I know I can reach those!

So my advice for this weekend is this: keep your expectations low and no one gets disappointed!

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Sexual Energy & Intuition: Interview with Allie Theiss

How does sexual energy influence your intuition?

How can you boost your sexual energy to improve psychic senses?

Join me as I talk with Allie Theiss, professional Sex Coach, 6th generational intuitive and author of Out of Body Ecstasy!

Allie’s website: allietheiss.com

Allie’s podcasts:
The Passion Zone
The Allie Theiss Show

Allie’s show:
Amore with Allie

What was your biggest takeaway from this interview? Let me know in the comments below!

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Get a little “me-time” this weekend…

fridays with veronicaVeronica is my evil twin, alter ego, and a real maverick of sorts. She spends her days swanning about her apartment, writing smut, eating cheesecake and god knows what else. On Friday’s she does a horrifically unhelpful reading for you to enjoy…..

the hermit
The Housewive’s Tarot

Today’s message comes from The Hermit.

Spend this weekend soaking in the tub, ordering take out, eating chocolate and reading filthy romance novels.

Oh wait, I just remembered its Easter Weekend. F##K!

I guess your supposed to spend time with family, cook a boring dinner and humor everyone.

Well, no matter what you do this weekend, be sure to squeeze in a little me-time – if anything, it will keep you sane!

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What you should do this weekend…

fridays with veronicaVeronica is my terrible alter ego to whom I give free reign for a few minutes on a Friday, so she can write this reading for you. Her advice is always bad, so be sure not to take it ;)…

the fool
The Fairytale Tarot by Karen Mahony

The Fool is here to say It’s okay to be an idiot if it means you get to have an adventure!

Being smart is overrated and always leads to boring evenings spent watching TV with safe, dull people.

Have you been wearing mostly beige, black and brown lately? Time to color it up! buy a crazy scarf in a bright color or wear some sky blue tights (even if your a guy).

Do something different this weekend – go on a mini adventure. Pack some smelly cheeses in a sac along with grapes, crackers and wine. Take it to the park along with a blank notebook and pen.

Then, plunk yourself down on a grassy knoll and pen some erotic fiction as you proceed to get drunk in public and gorge yourself on cheese.

Gosh, just writing this I am getting so excited for the weekend! I can’t f#$*ing wait!

If you are trying to make an important decision, don’t ask yourself if its the right decision, ask if it will lead to thrills and adventure.

Now is not the time to play it safe. Be reckless, be wild and enjoy it!

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The Tarot Court Cards….In Bed! Part 2: The Pages

Learning the Tarot Court Cards was the most challenging aspect of becoming a Tarot reader!

For me, trying to learn the Tarot Court Card meanings felt like being at a really boring party and attempting to remember the names of all the boring guests that I knew I’d never see again.

Why bother?

And yet, Court Cards kept showing up in my readings, much to my irritation. So I knew I had to buckle down and learn the little fuckers.

How did I do it? I had fun with them.

I fleshed out the characters of each Court Card in my head. And at the incessant urging of my evil twin Veronica, I forced myself to consider each and every Court Card as a sexual being.

I already presented you with the smutty side of the Tarot Queens, so now it’s time to get nasty with the Tarot Pages….

The Tarot Pages in Bed

The Pages are somewhat androgynous, which makes this all the more fun!

A Page can be either a young man or young woman. Some decks show the Pages as young women, while the Rider-Waite-Smith portrays them as youthful girly-boys.

The Pages are still finding themselves sexually and they represent the immature qualities of their suit.

The Page of Cups

Robin-Wood Tarot
Robin-Wood Tarot

Suit qualities: emotions, feelings, relationships

Personality traits: He’s spaced out and slutty!

Young, artsy, footloose and fancy-free, the Page of Cups is the ultimate sexual explorer.

Ever the opportunist, this Page sees the sexy potential in everyone and everything. He/she knows that any dorm party, sculpting class or job interview could turn into a spontaneous, erotic adventure at any moment! So he’s always prepared and ready to go.

If you ever date the Page of Cups he will be disarmingly romantic – writing you songs, painting you in the nude and reenacting the pottery wheel scene from Ghost.

But then he’ll nail your sister.

He doesn’t mean to hurt others or make them feel used, its just a natural consequence of his carefree sexual nature.

Secret fantasy: rolling around naked on a canvas covered in paint.

The Page of Wands

Hanson-Roberts Tarot
Hanson-Roberts Tarot

Suit qualities: creativity, passion, career, action

Personality traits: He’s adventurous, stupidly brave and full of energy!

The Page of Wands is so energetic in the sack that it’s irritating.

This dude can go all night, but after a while you start to get that panicky feeling like when someone has you cornered at a party and just won’t stop talking. You just want it to end!

This sexy Page is very adventurous and up for anything. No matter what bizarre sex ideas you have, this guy will try it.

He is often drawn to older women, which is a good thing because he could stand to learn a little finesse in the bedroom.

There’s more to lovemaking than just thrusting away like a high-speed sex robot. But the Page of Wands does not know this yet.

Secret fantasy: Being a powerful Sheik, surrounded by a harem of beautiful women

The Page of Pentacles

Crystal Visions Tarot
Crystal Visions Tarot

Suit qualities: money, health, home, the body

Personality traits: She’s studious, inquisitive and loves to learn

The Page of Pentacles loves to study up on everything, so naturally she is educating herself on the carnal arts!

But she prefers to read rather than do.

She may sit in a stuffy library devouring The Kama Sutra and The Joy of Sex, but she’s much too reserved to go grab some guy from the bar down the street to experiment on.

This nerdy Page is totally at home in her own body, but she’d rather sit up in a tree strumming her own Lute than join an orchestra. Promiscuous she is not!

But her fortress walls can be penetrated. Just invite her back to your place to see your antique book collection and she’ll be putty in your hands.

Secret fantasy: Seducing her Philosophy professor at the front of an empty lecture hall.

 

The Page of Swords

The Paulina Tarot
The Paulina Tarot

Suit qualities: intellect, thoughts, mind, communication

Personality traits: She’s a tad mentally unstable

This crazy gal read 50 Shades of Grey like everyone else and now pretends to be into BDSM just because its trendy.

She proudly displays her handcuffs and riding crop for all her bedroom visitors to see. Not because she’s kinky but because she wants people to think she’s dark and edgy.

The Page of Swords doesn’t realize it yet, but missionary position, vanilla sex with a generic, dentally perfect hunk is what really lights her loins on fire.

She does not yet know who she is sexually, but that’s okay. She’ll figure it out eventually. In the meantime, she’s content to half-heartedly dominate you.

Secret fantasy: Marrying a male model.

 Read all about the Tarot Knights in bed right here

Discover the Kinky Kings right here

Now it’s your turn….

Which page can you most closely relate to and why? Tell me all about it in the comments below!

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