one card tarot reading - Daily Tarot Girl

Time to meet your inner Buddha

Veronica is my evil twin and partner in crime. You can find her camping out in metaphysical bookstores and napping through a yoga class. When she isn’t scrawling chick-porn on her laptop, she’s writing Tarot readings for this blog…

Your Inner Buddha wants you to just chill the fuck out already. Seriously.

Your personality/ego self is all like “aah! What must people think of me? I don’t make enough money! I look like a bloated whale in these pants! How am I going to get everything done today?”

Meanwhile, your Inner Buddha reclines on a chaise lounge with a joint in one hand, not giving a shit about any of it.

It’s time to meet this mysteriously calm little person inside of you….

When you think “what will the bitches in my office think of my new shoes?”, your Inner Buddha thinks “where can I find some velcro moccasins?”

When you obsess about whether or not your partner really loves you, your Inner Buddha couldn’t care less. It’s completely fucking irrelevant.

It’s not that your Inner Buddha doesn’t care about anything, it’s just that it doesn’t care about stupid pointless shit. And for many of us, worrying and thinking about stupid pointless shit can consume a pretty big part of our day.

So this weekend, don’t try to stop worrying or thinking about stupid pointless shit. That never works. Just ask yourself “what would my Inner Buddha do?”

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The Eight of Swords is Kinky!

Veronica Noir, The Daily Tarot Girl’s evil counterpart, is here to kick some sense into you with her uncompassionate style of Tarot reading. She usually writes these half-drunk, so take her advice with a grain of salt…or a tablespoon!

Now here is the lady of the Eight of Swords looking like a character in one of those kinky romance novels I have been reading on my filthy little Kindle.

And just like those masochistic heroines, this dame actually enjoys her sense of limitation and blindness.

So I ask you this…

Are you getting off on your perceived handicaps?

Are you relishing the feel of powerlessness?

Do you secretly enjoy complaining to friends about stuff?

Well, snap out of it!

While your busy writhing around in miserable ecstasy waiting for a knight in shining armor to save you, your life is passing you by!

So untie yourself, lift the blindfold and….yes, I know! Then you will actually have to take responsibility for your life.

But seriously – break out of your silly little mind prison and run free on the grassy knoll of life!

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The Star tells you how to chill out…

6 Comments / August 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / August 1, 2014

Veronica is my evil, tarot reading twin. Her readings are sassy and inappropriate – just like her personality! Let us see what perverted meaning she gives The Star…

God, I f*cking LOVE The Star!

Know why?

Because she’s a chilled out naked chick by a river, who seems to not have a care in the world. What’s not to love?

The Star has popped into your world today to tell you that you need to RELAX!

Nothing really matters as much as you think it does.

This lovely lady knows a secret – in order to go through life with her laid back attitude, you cannot cling to anything.

Let go of rigid beliefs like I must wear a bra when I venture out in public.

Let go of resentments like my neighbor is a first rate wanker for raking his gravel driveway every morning at 7am and blowing his leaf blower each evening from 7-9pm and basically ruining my life.

Let go of attachment to your possessions – your Egyptian cotton sheets and Vitamix blender don’t enhance your life as much as you think.

On second thought, maybe they do…

Let go of your expectations of people. Especially your children and romantic partner. People are weird and imperfect and that’s that.

And most of all, let go of your idea of “how things should be”.

The Star is dumping out both jugs and she’s naked. She doesn’t cling to anything. Because she doesn’t need to. The world is her oyster and it can be yours too!

So now you just need to get nude.

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The secret ingredient to a decadent lifestyle…

12 Comments / July 2014, Uncategorized, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / July 11, 2014

Veronica is my evil twin and I let her scrawl her silliness all over my blog every Friday. Her readings are deep, insightful and full of penis innuendos. Let’s see what nonsense advice she has for you today…

Just like a spectator at an orgy, the fancy lady of the Nine of Pentacles reclines with ease and luxuriously nibbles on grapes!

Do you wish you could be this fancy lady?

Guess what? You can!

All you need is a falcon, some head jewels and the understanding that everything feels more decadent when you just sit back, relax and eat grapes.

If the kids are fighting this weekend, don’t intervene. Sit back, relax and eat some grapes. Pretend your watching gladiators in a Roman coliseum.

Friends boring you with tiresome, detailed stories about their latest vacation? Sit back, relax and eat grapes. Indulge in a lurid sex fantasy about Daniel Craig. Your friends won’t even know!

Can’t stand the thought of cooking dinner for your in-laws on Sunday night? Fuck it. Sit back, relax and eat grapes. Order pizza.

So there you have it. A plan for your weekend!

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Naughty Tarot Advice for the Weekend!

11 Comments / June 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / June 27, 2014

Veronica is my evil alter ego and she takes over my blog every friday. When she’s not looking at every Tarot card through a perverted lens, she’s getting bat-shit drunk on her balcony, reading trashy novels and eye-molesting every cute young boy toy that walks by. What oh what will she say this week?…

judgement-hezicos-tarot — Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffin

Happy Friday! Today’s Tarot card is Judgment.

Look closely and it would appear this mermaid is totally blowing something! A shell-flute – she’s blowing a shell-flute.

So the question is: what are you blowing this weekend?

Wait! That sounds filthy. Let me make it more spiritual for you.

What tune are you playing? What music are you making? What frequency are you vibrating at?

Because whatever your doing, your always broadcasting a frequency or energy of some sort. That energy is like a calling to other beings, things and experiences.

We’ve all heard those spiritually smug people say things like “what you do comes back to you, blah, blah” but that’s only part of the story.

So today, notice what horn are you blowing out to the world – what are you broadcasting?

And just be damn sure its hot, sexy and delicious tune!

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The Four of Rods – Stay Home This Weekend!

9 Comments / June 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / June 20, 2014

Veronica is a voracious man eater, tarot reader, cat lover and my evil twin/alter ego. She talks like a sailor, slinks about like Catwoman and always has some deliciously subversive advice for you! So without further ado…I bring you Veronica Noir!

The Four of Rods is here to tell you to spend some time enjoying your hearth and home this weekend.

Delight yourself by doing boring crap like baking stuff in the oven. You know, like cinnamon buns and shit like that.

Wear an apron.

Clean things.

Make a fu*king pie!

But here’s the catch – don’t plan anything this weekend. Especially if you did a whole bunch of “stuff” last weekend. Have a couple of “home days” to yourself.

Genius and spiritual unfoldment do not arise from busy-ness and rushing about doing pointless things. Trust me!

But take the time to have a glass of wine and make some sort of horrid baked good – and you just might find yourself discovering the meaning of life in the process.

Or you might just find yourself mildly drunk. Either way, it’s a nice time 🙂

Hay House, Inc.

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Full moon dreams + hippie sex!

3 Comments / June 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / June 13, 2014

Veronica Noir is my evil twin. She loves mean cats, nice boys and devouring melting ice cream sandwiches. Billionaire heiress by day, scrawler of paranormal smut by night. And for some sick reason I let her mess up my blog on Fridays…

4-of-swords-hezicos-tarot — Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffin

Today we’ve got the Four of Swords!

I was about to rattle off some nonsense about meditation and going within until I noticed that the moon is shining a spotlight on this dreamer’s nether region…

It’s showtime!

Is the light of your unconsciousness casting an eerie glow on your sex life?

Are you having weird sex dreams?

If not…why not?

One of the greatest pleasures in life is having messed up dreams, so be sure you make an extra effort this weekend. Plus its a full moon! Eeeeeee!

Watch creepy sex movies like Eyes Wide Shut right before bed, eat cheese for a bedtime snack and put a drop of Patchouli on your pillow (its an aphrodisiac that might bring on a hippie dream)

It’s high time you had some free love!

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Advice for your weekend….are you a cat or a dog?

9 Comments / June 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / June 6, 2014

Veronica is my crazy, evil Tarot card reading twin. When she’s not traipsing about town sans underpants, she’s writing filthy trash and knocking back Mojitos like armageddon is just around the corner. Let’s see what kind of cracked out advice she’s cooked up for us today…

dog — Animal Wisdom Tarot by Dawn Brunke

Today’s card is the Ten of Fossils (aka Ten of Pentacles), represented by Dog.

Dogs are all about loyalty and sucking up.

I’m more of a cat myself.

When you people-please and ass sniff all day long, bonds are instantly formed! It’s easy to feel part of the family.

But if your more cat-like, you might find yourself with more space for solitude and soothing emptiness – especially if you are prone to raking people’s faces when they get too touchy feely with you.

Traditionally this card is all about “the marketplace” or “everyday society”

So, ask yourself: when it comes to my place in my community/family, am I a cat or a dog?

Do you go through the motions of everyday life like a dog chasing a stick, clueless as to why he is doing it, but throwing himself into it wholeheartedly nonetheless?

Or do you sit on the sidelines, like a bitchy cat, enjoying your own snide mental commentary of your canine-esque neighbors and colleagues?

Whatever you are, its perfectly okay.

Unless your a dog.

Hay House, Inc.

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Channel your inner cock (I mean rooster!)

3 Comments / May 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / May 30, 2014

Veronica is my evil twin and a Tarot card reading dynamo! She spends her days reading paranormal romance novels, suntanning on her balcony and leering at young male construction workers that are building her neighbors deck. Yum! She is here to tell you what to do with your life – so lets see what she has to say…

Cock-a -doodle-do! says the Rooster, wake the f*ck up!

Rub the sleepiness out of your eyes and step onto the scene of your life with gusto and snap – it’s time to announce yourself!

You might be thinking “can’t I just phone this one in today and get back to my zombie shuffle?”

The answer is NO!

It’s time to be awake, present and loud. Maybe even obnoxious. Like morning wood.

Live life on purpose today.

Stride (instead of shuffle) down the street, wear bright clothing, don’t try to fit in and make sure you act a little, well…. cocky!

You’ve been passive and non-offensive way to long, silly pants. Who cares if you annoy others? The roost is yours to rule this weekend 😉

And I hope that wasn’t too much penis innuendo for you.

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Shield yourself from twits

7 Comments / May 2014, Veronica Noir / Kate (Daily Tarot Girl) / May 23, 2014

Veronica is my evil twin. She is also many other things: nude yoga practitioner, Tarot reader, ninja-spy, painter, professional napper and erotic fiction writer. Today she gifts you with a reading from my Angel cards…

Today’s card is “Shielding” and it suggests that there is someone in your life who is really starting to piss you off.

Perhaps a co-worker who brags about never taking her breaks or a spouse who drapes his sweaty workout shirts on your furniture “to dry before putting them in the laundry hamper.”

Who ever it is, you have the overwhelming urge to erect a massive bubble around you, stick your fingers in your ears and go la la la la la la la!

Ignore those obnoxious twits in your life by finding your “happy place” – creating a bubble of denial where you can immerse yourself in fantasy and daydreaming to your hearts content.

This creates an invisible energy shield and those who seek to drain your energy will find you boring, repulsive and not worth their time. YES!

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