Veronica Noir is a Tarot reader, dominatrix, exhibitionist and the Daily Tarot Girl’s evil twin. She has an unhealthy addiction to online shopping, watching kitten videos on YouTube and of course, trolling for younger men and lying about her age! Here are her words of wisdom…
When I read Tarot cards, I like to make up pretend dialogues in my head.
I picture the chick in this card going “This had better be that gold plated vibrator I asked for and not some cheap crap from Wal-Mart again!”
And he’s all like “Open it bitch!”
Ahhh, the spirit of giving. How do you feel about receiving gifts? Pretty good?
What about receiving gifts (or help) from total strangers? Or those with less money than you? Or those with more money than you?
Giving and receiving can be fraught with tension. But the real question is: how do you feel about giving to yourself?
Make today a You-Day. Pamper yourself like never before. Take yourself out to lunch, buy something luxurious and impractical and take an hour long bath – but don’t be stingy with the hot water!
Once you are generous with yourself, you can be generous to others. Or you may choose to continue just being generous to yourself…that’s okay too – I don’t judge!
Veronica Noir, the The Daily Tarot Girl’s evil twin, is a Tarot reader extraordinaire who gets her thrills by spying on neighbors with binoculars, doing nude yoga in her backyard and eating coconut ice cream straight out of the carton. Here’s her take on The Hierophant…
The Housewives Tarot
It’s Friday! Time to ignore the presumptuous dictators in your life.
Is there some douche-bag in your life who likes to tell you what to do all the time? Like a neighbor that tells you to stop doing nude yoga on your deck because he finds if “offensive”….pfffft!
Tune them out and get on with your fabulous life.
The Hierophant does not refer only to annoying people, but also to various forms of mind control, like the media which is constantly pumping out a barrage of depressing ideas and useless information. Your mind absorbs this junk like a sponge. Even if you are a smarty pants.
Try unplugging your TV and ignoring your newspapers for a couple of weeks and see how happy it makes you feel. Trust me, this works better than a Prozac-Cocaine cocktail and there are no side effects, unless you count unexplained bliss and non-existent anxiety.
If you get bored, just spy on your neighbors with binoculars instead of watching TV in the evenings.
Veronica is the Daily Tarot Girl’s evil twin. She spends her days eating bon bons, writing smut, and prowling around the neighborhood for younger men.Oh, and she also reads Tarot…
Are you saving the fine china for “guests”? Are your lamp shades covered in plastic? Do you have protective coverings on your car seats? Well, knock it off! That’s totally lame!
The Four of Pentacles suggests you just may be hoarding the best parts of yourself for later. But there is no later! There is only NOW!
Of course, you are feeling all delicate about really busting loose and putting yourself out there. Just look at the face of that woman/cabinet. She is thinking “oh no, not the good china! It may get chipped or broken.”
Don’t be such a wimp. You have shiny, awesome things inside you – not literally, but metaphorically. Unless you’ve been eating jewelery. So share the best parts of yourself with others and don’t hold back.
And while your at it, take the plastic off your lampshades because it makes your living room look like Sears!
Veronica Noir is my evil Tarot reading twin. Man-eater by night, day drinker by day, Tarot reader on Fridays. She’s hear to ejaculate some spice and deviousness into your life!
Housewives Tarot
Secrets are the spice of life! I love them. Nothing spruces up a boring party than hearing a delicious secret…or revealing one of your own!
People who say things like “secrets are toxic” or “secrets ruin relationships” don’t know the art of juicy living.
But don’t fret about those basic peeps – leave them to their ham sandwiches and polyester shirts, because you’ve got thrills to give and a life to live!
This Summer is all about secrets – and you can’t have secrets if you just behave yourself all the time 😉
So get out there and do things that need to be hidden, things you wouldn’t want just anyone knowing about. Before you know it you’ll be a beacon of mystery, living a life of scintillating drama and bliss!
Please note: Veronica is taking the rest of the Summer off and will return in September with renewed snark and sass.
Veronica is my nefarious Tarot reading twin. At night she slinks through the streets under the cover of darkness, hunting for young, unsuspecting man-meat. By daylight she naps, writes filth and eats bon bons. But on Fridays, she reads Tarot – for you, right here…
Cosmic Tarot
Have you noticed that the more out of reach something is, the more attractive it becomes?
Married men, luxury yachts and some fucking peace and quiet are all good examples.
But have you also noticed that when you stop wanting something, that’s when you finally get it?
The only jobs I’ve ever gotten were jobs I never really wanted. Come to think of it, I’ve never really wanted a job – ever.
When you don’t need or want something, you keep your power. And that power emanates from you like a sexy glow, attracting moths, lovers, jobs and all sorts of shit.
So stop wanting. Stop being so god damn needy all the time! Stop drooling over pricey shoes and underage pizza delivery boys. Geez!
When you don’t want or need anything, no one can control you. You can’t be tempted, seduced or manipulated. You are your own person. A maverick. A trailblazer. Strutting to your own slutty beat. Or maybe that’s just me?
In any case, I absolutely DO NOT WANT to live in a seaside castle with 100 cats and kittens, eating vanilla-lemon cupcakes all day and watching ASMR videos on the youtubes. Not at all 😉
What about you? What do you absolutely NOT want in your life?
Veronica is my nefarious Tarot reading twin – she’s just like me except she drinks all day, loves offending people and honestly….she has way more fun! Let’s see what ridiculous advice she has for us today…
Druidcraft Tarot
A few months ago I stopped shaving my armpits. Why? Because I think it’s sexy.
Although no one else does. Yet.
But just you wait – I think I’m onto something.
My point is this –The Star is all about relaxed sensuality, going with the forces of nature and just being all round chill.
My armpit hair wants to grow, so I let it. Go with the flow and don’t try to fight nature.
Our lame, predictable society tells us that we must constantly fight against nature in order to be sexy – like waxing all your body hair off, slathering nasty antiperspirant on your pits and ….well, come to think of it, most of this violence is against armpits.
Anyhow, not doing this stuff is a small act of rebellion and it feels divine! I’m not saying you should be hairy and smelly – maybe that’s not your thing, but just let go a little, don’t fight your body so much….
Even though we can’t really see it, I’m willing to be The Star has armpit hair…in fact, I’d bet my left pit stain on it!
Veronica is my nefarious Tarot reading twin. At night she slinks through the streets under the cover of darkness, hunting for young, unsuspecting man-meat. By daylight she naps, writes filth and eats bon bons. But on Fridays, she reads Tarot – for you, right here…
Osho Zen Tarot
Diversity is the new buzz word on everybody’s lips these days.
As in “financial planners recommend investment diversification for economic growth” or “the new multiplex will foster community, diversity and culture”
Yeah, whatever.
Like engagement, self esteem, transparency and wellness before it, diversity won’t be a hot little number forever. So let’s dissect it while we can.
You can always identify what a society lacks by the words it overuses. People are the same.
Have you ever met someone who blabbered on and on about how open and transparent they were? “I’m basically an open book. What you see is what you get,” blah blah blah.
And then you find out they have a secret, sordid life of money laundering, cocaine parties and eating at McDonald’s.
So our mainstream society doesn’t give a shit about diversity, even though it never stops talking about it.
And I get it. It’s way more fun to talk about something than to actually practice it.
Just ask all those people who list yoga as a hobby but haven’t actually been to a class since 2009.
So tell me….what do you like to talk non-stop about but don’t actually do?
Veronica Noir is my alter ego – a sexier, bitchier, more daring version of myself. On Fridays I give this tramp free reign over my blog. Let’s see what raunchy advice she’s cooked up for us today….
Self Card Cards by Cheryl Richardson
Just when you are deep in the throes of Christmas shopping and accumulating even more crap you don’t need, this card pops up and says “let go, clear the clutter”
But before you go on an inspired rampage throwing out your boring clothes and all the stupid candle holders and Jillian Michaels DVDs and shit, stop and think for a sec….
How did you end up with all this lame stuff in the first place?
If you’re one of those people who eats junk all year and then goes on a “cleanse” in January, listen up.
How about just stop putting crap in your body? Stop buying stuff you don’t really need! Then you won’t need to clear clutter or cleanse. I mean jeeeeeez!
Just in time for Halloween, I’ve a got a spooky new Tarot card spread to help you get in touch with your dark side!
You may have come across my evil twin / alter ego Veronica on my Friday’s with Veronicablog posts and wondered how I ever came up with such a crazy character. So I decided to create a Tarot card spread to help you get in touch with YOUR evil twin / alter ego!
Your alter ego is basically a combination of your shadow self and your fantasy self.
Your shadow self is the parts of you that you keep hidden so people will be friends with you and you won’t go to prison. Your “fantasy self” is the person you wish you could be.
Repressing this part of yourself will lead to an uninspired drab life that is full of beige couches and eating Pringles out of boredom.
But integrating your evil alter ego into your day to day life will add spice and vibrancy – suddenly your life will be full of daring acts, scintillating coffee dates and hysterical laughter!
So here’s my Tarot card spread. My hope is that it helps you identify and get to know your alter ego a little better so that you can begin integrating this exciting part of yourself into your daily life…
Card #1 - How the repressed parts of yourself are effecting your life
When you repress something, it doesn't go away. It goes underground and forms a plan of attack on your clean, nice, orderly life!
If you get a really positive card here, like The Sun, keep it's positive and negative meanings in mind since repressing any part of yourself (good or bad) may have both negative and positive consequences.
Cards 2, 3 and 4 - Personality traits, dreams and issues that make up your alter ego
This is really the meat of the reading! You should get a nice sense of what your alter ego is like from these cards. These cards may represent negative traits that you are repressing, positive traits that you hide from others, wild dreams that you've dismissed as unrealistic or simply just issues that you don't want to face.
Card #5 - How you can integrate your alter ego into your daily life
There's a fun, safe way to integrate some of the spiciness and flare of your alter ego into your life and this card gives you some clues.
Again, if you get a card that confuses you, forget the book-meaning for a second and pay attention to the symbols and what's happening in the card. Here's an article that walks you through what to do when a card doesn't make sense.
Card #6 - How to embrace and work with your alter ego
This is kind of similar to position 5. If you still feel like you haven't really connected with your alter ego yet, this card can give you some ideas as to how you can.
When I first did this spread, I got The Lovers in this position. I read it to mean that I can work with my alter ego to attain a greater level of self acceptance and wholeness but also that I should go on "dates" with my alter ego - like hour long jounaling sessions in coffee shops.
Card #7 - Advice your alter ego has for you today!
This card represents what your alter ego wants you to do right now. How they think you should be living your life and where your priorities need to go. Of course, you may choose to ignore it - but it will be eye opening nonetheless!
Here is a video demonstration of this spread:
Tell me about YOUR Alter Ego!
I hope you have fun with this spread and don't forget to leave a comment below 🙂 I would love to hear all about your alter ego!!!!
Veronica is my evil twin sister and voracious Tarot reader. Penning smut by day and vamping about the streets at night. This booze swilling “lady” won’t quit until she’s had her fill of thrills, peanut butter ice cream and younger men. Let’s see what slutty wisdom she’s rolled out for you today…
Intuitive Tarot by Cilla Conway
The other day I was sitting on the beach, reading Star magazine and sipping Margarita out of my stainless steel thermos, when two seagulls started to scrap!
This one seagull was a total dick, brutally attacking the other seagull and stealing his starfish. It was quite a scene.
But then like 20 seconds later, I spy these same two seagulls sitting side by side like lovers, watching the waves crash against the shore.
WTF? I thought
My good twin Kate said “wow, isn’t the capacity for forgiveness in the animal kingdom just amazing?”
And I said “no, they’re just really dumb. They don’t remember.”
Because Seagulls don’t have big, clunky human brains they lack the capacity to ruminate and stew about the shitty behavior of others. Lucky bastards.
So the message is this: you can either be an intelligent, grudge-holding, miserable mess or dumb and blissful.
No, you can’t be smart and happy – don’t be a greedy bitch!
So get to work and start putting your attention where it belongs….on dumbing yourself down.
You can start by reading Star magazine for a minimum one hour a day – that’s been working for me ????
Veronica Noir is a Tarot reader, dominatrix, exhibitionist and the Daily Tarot Girl’s evil twin. She has an unhealthy addiction to online shopping, watching kitten videos on YouTube and of course, trolling for younger men and lying about her age! Here are her words of wisdom…
Veronica is my nefarious Tarot reading twin – she’s just like me except she drinks all day, loves offending people and honestly….she has way more fun! Let’s see what ridiculous advice she has for us today…
