Veronica Noir is a Tarot reader, dominatrix, exhibitionist and the Daily Tarot Girl’s evil twin. She has an unhealthy addiction to online shopping, watching kitten videos on YouTube and of course, trolling for younger men and lying about her age! Here are her words of wisdom…
Today is all about giving and receiving….advice (and other things). You need to balance out the scales today and don’t be nice about it.
Take a long, hard look at your friendships. There is one friend in particular who is a total drain. This person takes, asks, demands and gives nothing back. She’s like Debbie Downer x 1000.
You’ve been nice, supportive and kind far too long. And it’s not helping. You need to dish up the tough-love, Veronica Noir style.
The best way to deal with this kind of person is to respond to their complaints and desperate pleas for sympathy by droning on and on about how fabulous your life is.
Next time she whines about her arthritis or back problems, tell her about the amazing orgy you had last night (even if you didn’t – its okay to embellish).
If she turns down your offer of cookies and tea by saying something bitchy like “I’m going gluten, sugar and caffeine free,”tell her all about the decadent chocolate cake you had for breakfast. Have fun with it!
If she asks you to get up at 6 am on a Saturday to help her with fundraising for some bullshit charity, tell her you can’t because you are busy…sleeping.
These whiny, miserable types need to be put in their place. She will either be inspired by your capacity for hedonistic enjoyment of life or she will be repulsed. Either way you won’t have to listen to her moaning and groaning much longer!
Veronica Noir is a lover of Tarot, cats and men in their early 20′s. Veronica spends her days eating coffee cheesecake, spying on neighbors and just being her fabulous self! Let’s see what she has to say about the Ten of Pentacles…
Beware of those who hold up certain “values” as if they were universal.
The lady in this Ten of Pentacles card is holding up the picture of a giant house as if to say “look! This is what we all should strive for – an orange mansion with strategically placed shrubbery!”
But do you notice that this domesticity-pusher is wearing an apron? It’s because she is serving an “ideal” that does not serve her. But before I go all sociology student on you….
Lets take an even closer look at this card. What is actually being held up and presented is a giant round hole – a hole that needs to be filled.
You can stuff this “hole” with all kinds of things – food, orange mansions, money, material possessions, a hunky spouse, pointless busy-ness, or my favorite one….lots of sex!
But like a Sigmund Freud nightmare, this hole is insatiable and always hungers for more. What to do? What to do?
Be a Laura Croft hole raider and find out as much as you can about your “hole” – ooh, that sounds dirty! But really, notice what you habitually try to stuff yourself with. For me, its coffee cheesecake and stiletto boots, but for you maybe it’s jumbo jets and hookers. Don’t judge yourself.
In the comments below, give me the dirty deets…what do you strive to attain in the hopes it will make you feel “whole” and satisfied?
Veronica Noir is The Daily Tarot Girl’s fearless, daring (yet evil!) twin. When she isn’t offering up salacious advice on a Friday, she’s cruising around the Mediterranean on her yacht with a couple of boy-toys, a good book and a cool mojito. In other words, this crazy bitch knows how to have a good time! Here’s her take on the Seven of Cups…
This lady seems to be pondering her choice of drink “Hmmm, what should I have? The Long Island Iced Tea, the dirty martini, the G&T, the rum and coke, or the…”
Um, slow down Betty! Maybe you should just have a water.
Today you will be faced with a multitude of choices – which are all the same.
If you find yourself in a state of indecision or overwhelm, maybe its because all the options are a bit blah.
Don’t let anyone railroad you into making a decision that you aren’t 100% happy with. The unimaginative, raggedy-ass masses that surround you will say that you have to decide and make some concessions. F*ck em!
If you don’t like the options on the table, create new ones.
Oh, and if I were that sulky lady in the card, I’d pick the tall orange drink in the top right. Looks fruity!
Veronica Noir is a writer of smut, maker of cocktails and The Daily Tarot Girl’s evil, evil twin. When not reading Tarot she can be found lounging poolside in her neighbors yard (when they aren’t home) and lamenting the depressing lack of hot, young man-meat in her town. Let’s see what dreadful advice she has for you today…
The Lovers!Such an exciting, sexy card to get on a Friday.
How passionate is your life? An how interesting are the people in it? Is it so passionate and interesting that you may drive off a cliff without noticing simply because the conversation is so fascinating?
No? Well, why the f*ck not?!
This rendition of The Lovers is supposed to serve as a warning – get too caught up in the heart pounding excitement of life and you will end up plunging head first off a cliff and into the ocean, only to be eaten by hungry sharks with a hankering for human thigh meat.
Well, that’s just silly! Don’t fall for that crapolla.
This weekend, make a commitment to start living a passionate life. Only do things that are so freaking fascinating that you have absolutely no clue what’s going on around you. Not sure how? Here’s my 3-step process:
1) Stop wasting precious time making small talk with boring people (avoid talking about the weather, health issues and people’s kids or grandchildren – that shit is grade A boring)
2) Make a bunch of boring rules for yourself(such as no sex on the first date, no drinking before 4pm and no fried food), then break them all in one night.
3) Do at least one thing on your “bucket list” every weekend – without panties.
In the comments below, tell me one thing that’s on your bucket list that you are going to do next…..and I will hold you to it!
So you’ve heard of Tarot cards (obviously!) and you’ve probably also heard of Oracle cards. Are they the same thing? Or are they totally different? And which is better?
This is a question I get asked all the time. And it’s not always easy to explain. But let me do my best…
Oracle cards and Tarot cards are similar in that they are both used for the same purpose – doing readings, exploring oneself and divining the future.
The two differ in their structure…
A Tarot deck follows a particular formula. An Oracle deck is more free-form.
A Tarot deck is similar to a Harlequin Romance novel. There’s a formula and structure to it. Certain things have to be present.
For example, the traditional Harlequin novel always features a virginal heroine. The hero she falls in love with is always rich and oh so manly – he is usually either a cowboy, billionaire or tycoon. Never a school teacher, chef or janitor. Can you imagine the novel on the left being called Between the Gas Station Attendant’s Sheets? Didn’t think so! But I digress…
Like a steamy Harlequin, A Tarot deck must follow a particular structure. There is always five suits – the four minor arcana suits and the major arcana.
A Tarot deck has 5 suits…
The minor arcana consists of cups, swords, wands and pentacles. This can vary depending on the deck as some decks get crafty with renaming the minors. There might be coins instead of pentacles or bows instead of wands. But essentially, the gist of each suit is the same.
A Tarot deck has 22 major arcana cards numbered 0 through 21. For a complete list of all the major arcana cards, go here. Some decks will have an extra card that is unique to that deck. For example, the Crystal Visions Tarot has an extra card called “The Unknown Card”, making it a 79-card deck, instead of the standard 78 cards.
Just as some decks will rename the four minor arcana suits, the major arcana cards can also be renamed. In my Druidcraft Tarot, the Wheel of Fortune is called The Wheel and The Devil is called Cernunnos. But the general meaning of the card stays the same.
Don’t let alternate card names get your panties in a twist…
I know this concept is really confusing, but think back to the Harlequin novels. Underneath all the details of a steamy bodice-ripper – like character names, job titles and location – lies a storyline that is pretty much identical from novel to novel.
One romance novel’s heroine may be called Chastity Dewstorm, while a different novel’s heroine is named Vanessa Lovejoy. But they both fall in love with a high status male by the novel’s end, despite their breathy protests and desperate mews.
Another element that all Tarot decks share is that there are four court cards –King, Queen, Knight and Page – for each minor arcana suit. So there are 16 court cards in total. Again, some decks get creative with the names and might have prince and princess instead of Knight and Page, but the meanings of the cards do not change.
Now onto Oracle cards!
Oracle cards can be anything – there are no rules that must be followed. If a Tarot deck is like a Harlequin, then an Oracle deck is like a novel that just happens to have romantic elements in it. Perhaps there are even some Harlequin-type aspects to it, but it does not follow any set formula to a tee. Maybe that’s not the best analogy….
Okay, think of Tarot cards and Oracle cards as being non-identical twins(like me and my slutty other-half Veronica!). The Tarot deck is prim, proper and follows the rules. She wants to marry, have children and pay her taxes.
The Oracle deck is the rebel who makes her own rules, traveling wherever the wind takes her, spending time in communes and ashrams, embarking on sexual escapades and making pottery while high.
This is NOT to say that Oracle cards are more interesting than Tarot cards, only that they are not bound by any rules.
An Oracle deck can have any number of cards in it. Most of them tend to be less cards than a Tarot deck, but some can have more. Some Oracle cards will have phrases on it – something that is rare for a Tarot deck – but some decks might only have images and no words.
Most Oracle decks have Tarot-inspired cards in them. So if you get to know your Tarot cards really well, you will spot some similarities in your Oracle decks.
Angel cards are a popular form of Oracle cards – these are basically Oracle cards with an angelic theme. Most Angel cards have uplifting phrases written on them, making them easy to use for beginners and gentle enough to use on those days when everything’s total shit.
So which is better? Tarot or Oracle cards?
This totally depends on you! Learning Tarot requires more time and energy, while Oracle cards are easy to read right off the bat for most people since the meanings are usually written on the cards.
Some people find Tarot cards intimidating and “scary” with their dramatic images of crumbling towers and scythe wielding skeletons. In that case, its best to start with a gentle Oracle or Angel card deck.
So why bother learning Tarot at all?
Tarot has a depth to it that Oracle cards often lack. Reading Tarot is more challenging, forcing you to flex your intuitive muscles.
Going back to the romance novel analogy, Tarot cards are like a leather bound copy of Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights, while Oracle/Angel decks are like a Harlequin paperback with a glistening cowboy on the cover. Yes, it’s comforting and it’s boatloads of fun, but don’t neglect the classics!
Now that I have thoroughly confused you by saying Tarot is like a Harlequin, I mean no, its like a romantic classic, I would love to hear your thoughts…
Which do you prefer? Tarot or Oracle cards? Or do you like both? Share your opinions in the comments below!
New Palladini TarotThe Five of Cups is here to tell you to look upwards! That’s where all the good stuff is. Don’t dwell on what didn’t work out. Move on!
The tower on the hill looks like a big, golden arrow pointing skyward. My perverted twin Veronica would say it looks more like a penis, but that’s a whole different topic….
Keep your eye on the prize today and don’t let any setbacks throw you off course. Focus on what you have, not what you have lost. There is nothing wrong with mourning something, just don’t let it turn into a pity party.
You are capable of far more than you even realize today, so whatever you do, don’t succumb to “loser thinking”!
What “loser thoughts” do you need to kick to the curb today? Share them with me in the comments below….
Veronica Noir is a whip cracking, advice giving, diva extraordinaire who loves her Tarot cards almost as much as her fabulous self. She is the Daily Tarot Girl’s evil twin and can’t wait to mess up your life with her cracked out advice……
Temperance is the Tarot card of the day and it answers the question what makes life so much fun?
A mix of things! Don’t let those fools in your life tell you that there is just one secret ingredient to happiness. There are many….
Variety is the spice of life and unfortunately you probably don’t have much of that in your day to day routine, do you?
Society is set up in such a way so that it becomes hard to find variety – boring things like monogamy and a steady job can get you down in the dumps. But cheer up! I have a saucy suggestion…
Create balance and variety in your life by breaking some rules. By its very nature, modern life is completely out of balance and totally fucked up. Here’s how to remedy that:
1) Call in sick and take a beach day (but wear a hat and sunglasses so no one recognizes you!)
2) Have a hot, steamy affair (even if its just in your head)
3) Have another hot, steamy affair (even if its just with your husband dressed up in drag)
4) Perform one act of rebellion every day – ignore your alarm clock, cancel your cable TV, keep your cell phone turned off all day long, that kind of thing!
Veronica Noir is a Tarot reader, dominatrix, exhibitionist and the Daily Tarot Girl’s evil twin. She has an unhealthy addiction to online shopping, watching kitten videos on YouTube and of course, trolling for younger men and lying about her age! Here are her words of wisdom…
When I read Tarot cards, I like to make up pretend dialogues in my head.
I picture the chick in this card going “This had better be that gold plated vibrator I asked for and not some cheap crap from Wal-Mart again!”
And he’s all like “Open it bitch!”
Ahhh, the spirit of giving. How do you feel about receiving gifts? Pretty good?
What about receiving gifts (or help) from total strangers? Or those with less money than you? Or those with more money than you?
Giving and receiving can be fraught with tension. But the real question is: how do you feel about giving to yourself?
Make today a You-Day. Pamper yourself like never before. Take yourself out to lunch, buy something luxurious and impractical and take an hour long bath – but don’t be stingy with the hot water!
Once you are generous with yourself, you can be generous to others. Or you may choose to continue just being generous to yourself…that’s okay too – I don’t judge!
Veronica Noir, the The Daily Tarot Girl’s evil twin, is a Tarot reader extraordinaire who gets her thrills by spying on neighbors with binoculars, doing nude yoga in her backyard and eating coconut ice cream straight out of the carton. Here’s her take on The Hierophant…
The Housewives Tarot
It’s Friday! Time to ignore the presumptuous dictators in your life.
Is there some douche-bag in your life who likes to tell you what to do all the time? Like a neighbor that tells you to stop doing nude yoga on your deck because he finds if “offensive”….pfffft!
Tune them out and get on with your fabulous life.
The Hierophant does not refer only to annoying people, but also to various forms of mind control, like the media which is constantly pumping out a barrage of depressing ideas and useless information. Your mind absorbs this junk like a sponge. Even if you are a smarty pants.
Try unplugging your TV and ignoring your newspapers for a couple of weeks and see how happy it makes you feel. Trust me, this works better than a Prozac-Cocaine cocktail and there are no side effects, unless you count unexplained bliss and non-existent anxiety.
If you get bored, just spy on your neighbors with binoculars instead of watching TV in the evenings.
Veronica is the Daily Tarot Girl’s evil twin. She spends her days eating bon bons, writing smut, and prowling around the neighborhood for younger men.Oh, and she also reads Tarot…
Are you saving the fine china for “guests”? Are your lamp shades covered in plastic? Do you have protective coverings on your car seats? Well, knock it off! That’s totally lame!
The Four of Pentacles suggests you just may be hoarding the best parts of yourself for later. But there is no later! There is only NOW!
Of course, you are feeling all delicate about really busting loose and putting yourself out there. Just look at the face of that woman/cabinet. She is thinking “oh no, not the good china! It may get chipped or broken.”
Don’t be such a wimp. You have shiny, awesome things inside you – not literally, but metaphorically. Unless you’ve been eating jewelery. So share the best parts of yourself with others and don’t hold back.
And while your at it, take the plastic off your lampshades because it makes your living room look like Sears!
