Imagine this: It’s 8pm on a dark and rainy night. Thunder and lighting boom and flash in the distance as you sit in your armchair by the fire, shuffling your Tarot cards.
Across from you sits Minxy Blue – a friend of a friend. Minxy is a high class escort who lives a lavish lifestyle, “escorting” distinguished gentlemen and the occasional celebrity. But she has recently met someone special who has a problem with her chosen line of work. His name is Vlad Smith and he has proposed to her on the condition that she quit her escort job and do something else.
Minxy loves Vlad but she also loves her work. She’s in a conundrum! She asks you “what on Earth am I supposed to do?”
Just then, two cards come flying out of the deck, landing upright on the table in front of you.
But here’s the challenge: Minxy doesn’t have the time or the patience to listen to you ramble about the cards. So make it quick! In just 3 sentences or less, interpret these two cards in a way that is helpful to Minxy:
Hanson-Roberts Tarot
Please feel free to post your interpretation in the comments below!
If you would like to see how I interpreted these cards, just click on the text below…
Speak openly with Vlad about how you feel about leaving your career (Two of Cups). But make sure you go within and do some soul searching to find out what is truly important to you right now (The Hermit). There is much light and brightness in these two cards which shows that now is not the time to hide from your feelings and issues, Minxy girl!
Do you wish you had your own personal life coach? Well guess what? If you have a deck of Tarot cards you kind of already do have a life coach. Let me explain…
Think of your Tarot deck as a mediator between you and your Higher Self (or Inner Self, Unconscious, Inner Wisdom, Inner Guru, whatever).
Here’s my easy peasy formula for gleaning important info and guidance into your life via your Tarot cards:
If you would like to do this exercise along with me, the video version is below. Otherwise, read on!
1. Identify your “issue” or problem that you would like some guidance around.
When I did this exercise last night, I chose my “issue” of not finding the right house to buy. I have been searching for over a year and haven’t found the right place yet.
2. Ask “what do I need to know about (issue) ?”
For example, what do I need to know about finding the right home (and why I haven’t yet)?
3. Draw ONE card.
The card I got was The Moon.
Anna K Tarot
4. Which suit is that card from? This will indicate the area of your life in which your “issue” is based.
Major Arcana = spiritual, life path, major life lesson
Wands = energetic, creative, career
Cups = emotional, relationships
Swords = mental, thoughts, communication
Pentacles = body/health, money, material stuff
Court card = A particular person or personality trait
Keep an open mind here. The area of your life that your issue is based in may surprise you. For example, your health problems could be connected to your relationships (Cups) or your relationship issue could be rooted in your money issues (Pentacles).
Because I got The Moon, a Major Arcana card, I know my issue of not finding a house has to do with my life path and is acting as a major spiritual lesson right now.
5. Now, lets take a closer look at the card. We know the area that it relates to, but what is it trying to tell you? Jot down the traditional meaning of your card.
The Moon Tarot card has to do with the subconscious, dreams and that which is hidden. Sometimes it can indicate deception or not being fully aware of something.
6. How does the traditional meaning (or keywords) apply to your specific issue and/or the area of your life in which this issue is based.
Here is where you are really getting into the nooks and crannies of your issue. This is a chance to look at your issue/problem in a way that you probably haven’t yet.
When I did my reading I felt that The Moon applied to my life in that I have been having lots of dreams lately about going down into basements to view disturbing things (which I suspect is a symbol for exploring the unconscious). This could indicate that subconscious issues are holding me back from finding a house.
7. What advice does my chosen card have for me? What should be your next step?
Now you are switching the lens through which you see this card. You are asking a different question, but there is no need to draw a different card. You only need to look at this card in a different light.
When I gaze at The Moon, the advice that jumps out at me is this: study your dreams and explore the scaryness and ugliness that lies beneath the surface. The frightening things you find in the basement of your dreams may represent thoughts, fears and feelings that you have repressed because you’ve deemed the unacceptable or too scary to face.
8. Set a goal. Write it down. Give yourself a timeline. Take action.
This is where the life-coachy part comes in! The impact of a really insightful Tarot reading can vanish like a fart in the wind if you don’t write it down and do something about it.
I set the goal to consult some dream books and take a closer look at the symbols in my dreams and do some journalling around this. I aim to do this over the next 7 days.
9. Bonus question: what message does my Inner Self have for me in regards to this issue?
If you still feel a little unsatisfied with your reading, this can be a nice way to wrap things up. Spend some time gazing at your card, noticing the symbols and general vibe of the card. Can you decipher a comforting or encouraging message there?
When I gazed at The Moon, I noticed that it wasn’t a full moon – it was only a crescent moon. When I pondered this for a bit I heard the phrase “the moon is not yet full” meaning that the time has not yet come, but it will. In other words, now is not the right time for me to find a house. So I can just relax.
Was it good for you? Let me know what you think!
In the comments below feel free to share your own experience with this Tarot exercise 🙂
Do you remember when you were 13 and you would spend hours doing those stupid quizzes in teen magazines?
I remember one lazy Summer day in particular when I laid up in my friends tree fort with a pile of Seventeen magazines and we quizzed each other on crucial topics like Does your crush like you?,Which hollywood hearthrob should I date? and What your shoes say about you…
I thought I would bring back some of that nostalgic Summer fun with a totally ridiculous Tarot personality quiz!
I bet you’re just dying to know which of the four Tarot suits – Wands, Pentacles, Cups and Swords – your personality falls into.
Well, wait no longer!
1. It’s a hot Summer day and you’re spending a day at the beach! You spend your time….
a. Thinking, thinking, thinking…..about all your problems and what you should about this colossal problem that is your life.
b. Daydreaming about sexy mermen and all the wonderful possibilities life has to offer.
c. Swimming, running up and down the beach and chatting up the 21 year old lifeguard.
d. Napping in the sun, lazily collecting sea shells and chowing down on fried food at the concession stand while you read some grisly true crime book.
photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net
2. Your dream career is…
a. Professor of something very intellectual where you get to wear smart looking glasses and read lots of books.
b. Painter and sculptor that lives on an island, by the beach. Instead of a coffee break, you take skinny dipping breaks.
c. Running your own business where you get to be creative, teach, travel and be fabulous!
d. Farmer, Builder or Chef – something earthy, where you get to work with your hands.
3. When you go to a friend’s house for dinner, you….
a. Fret about what your host will serve because you are very, very concerned about chemical additives, GMOs, pesticide residue, gluten, BGH in dairy and eating meals with a 80/20 alkaline/acidic ratio.
b. Are simply delighted and touched by the beautiful foods she has lovingly prepared for you. You feel so nourished!
c. Look forward to meeting the other guests and networking with them. You have so many exciting, juicy stories to share and love being the center of attention.
d. Spend forever picking out what to wear. Everything you own seems to exacerbate your spare tire. But holy fuck, are you ever looking forward to knocking back the wine tonight! Good times ahead!
Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net
4. When you meet someone for the first time, you always ask them…
a. What books they are currently reading.
b. How their love life is going or how they met their significant other.
c. What their big dreams and visions are.
d. What they do for a living.
5. In bed you like…
a. Dirty talk and role playing. Maybe even a bit of bondage.
b. Romantic bubble baths and eye gazing.
c. Excitement galore! Elevator sex, threesomes and lap dancing.
d. A candlelit massage on silk sheets, followed by a generous glass of red wine.
Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net
6. A perfect meal would not be complete without…
a. Scintillating conversation and debate.
b. Deliciously prepared seafood
c. Something spicy!
d. Chewy bread, tasty fowl, fine wine, good cheese and Tiramisu.
7. Your favorite escape is…
a. Music
b. Booze
c. A torrid affair
d. A good book
8. If you were handed one million dollars, you would…
a. Pay off your mortgage, upgrade your car and get your masters degree.
b. Go to a $30,000 shamanic dream journey retreat in Hawaii, a $28,000 past life DNA activation seminar in Sedona, Arizona, a $40,000 painting the goddess art tour of Italy, Greece and Turkey, etc, etc… and more wonderful stuff like this!
c. Start a charity for animals in need, backpack around the world – volunteering with various humanitarian aid organizations and write a novel about it.
d. Get plastic surgery.
9. Your tastes in literature tend to lean towards…
a. Non-fiction.
b. Romance novels.
c. Self help, personal growth and business books.
d. Stories! Especially trilogies and epic series.
10. You suddenly realize your job is total shit and everyone you work with is a complete sociopath. So of course you….
a. Spend a lot of time thinking about what you should do…..and plotting revenge.
b. Emote! Cry about your troubles to friends, family and random strangers in the lineup at the grocery store.
c. Take action! Immediately start looking for a new job and/or quit your current job.
d. Say to yourself “making changes is too hard right now” and then go watch some reality TV, eat some crispy chips and pretend everythings fine. Your unhappiness will show up later as stomach problems, headaches, rashes and eye infections.
Your Results!
Okay, now tally up your score…
Robin Wood Tarot
Mostly A’s – Oh no, this means you identify most strongly with the Suit of Swords – the jerkiest suit in the Tarot! Your brainy, bitchy, focused and boring. Oh well, at least your well read.
On the plus side, your great at communicating with others, teaching and making decisions. You don’t like to dawdle and piss around – you get shit done and most people respect you a great deal, even if they can’t stand you.
Fenestra Tarot
Mostly B’s – Yay! Your Cupsy! You identify most strongly with the Suit of Cups – the creative, emotional, touchy feely suit. You love intimacy but crave your freedom.
You enjoy spiritual exploration, personal growth and making stuff but your mom tells you that you need to get your shit together, for god’s sakes your 35 years old and other people your age have families, careers and second marriages. When are you ever going to find yourself?
Robin Wood Tarot
Mostly C’s – Well congratulations, you Wandsy Wanton! You identify most strongly with the Suit ofWands, the suit of impassioned action and adventure.
Your a go-getter, people like you and your sexy as hell. But at some point you will crash and burn, so don’t get so smug with your checked off goal lists and your manifested dreamboards. Mwwahahaha! At some point you will have a midlife crisis and realize that being successful is totally boring…at which point you may suddenly attain spiritual enlightenment.
Robin Wood Tarot
Mostly D’s – You identify strongly with the Suit of Pentacles. Your down to earth and what you see is what you get. You have truly mastered the art of being in the here and now – as skill that others could certainly learn from you.
You love all the earthly delights like food, wine and sex, but you can sometimes become obsessed with your physical appearance and have a tendency to ignore your emotions, which resurface as physical problems like constipation, low back pain and allergies.
In the comments below tell me which suit you fit into (or if you were a combination of two suits) and if your personality description was bang on or way off target 😉 ….
Veronica is my crazy, evil Tarot card reading twin. When she’s not traipsing about town sans underpants, she’s writing filthy trash and knocking back Mojitos like armageddon is just around the corner. Let’s see what kind of cracked out advice she’s cooked up for us today…
Animal Wisdom Tarot by Dawn Brunke
Today’s card is the Ten of Fossils (aka Ten of Pentacles), represented by Dog.
Dogs are all about loyalty and sucking up.
I’m more of a cat myself.
When you people-please and ass sniff all day long, bonds are instantly formed! It’s easy to feel part of the family.
But if your more cat-like, you might find yourself with more space for solitude and soothing emptiness – especially if you are prone to raking people’s faces when they get too touchy feely with you.
Traditionally this card is all about “the marketplace” or “everyday society”
So, ask yourself: when it comes to my place in my community/family, am I a cat or a dog?
Do you go through the motions of everyday life like a dog chasing a stick, clueless as to why he is doing it, but throwing himself into it wholeheartedly nonetheless?
Or do you sit on the sidelines, like a bitchy cat, enjoying your own snide mental commentary of your canine-esque neighbors and colleagues?
Back by popular demand….the monthly Tarot challenge!
What would YOU do in this situation?:
Let’s pretend your giving a Tarot reading to Chastity Applebottom, a striking woman in her late 30’s, who was referred to you by a mutual friend. She plunks herself down at your reading table, all bouncy curls and cleavage, and says:
“I just need some confirmation that I am doing the right thing. I got married a year ago to a man that I thought was my soul-mate – his name’s Carlos – but then about a month ago I discovered that he doesn’t really work as a traveling Loans officer, but is actually a Colombian drug lord and has been cheating on me with all sorts of floozies. He has this whole secret life that I wasn’t even aware of until now. Anyhow, I was going to leave him but then I realized that I would like to have a baby and I am getting too old to be putting it off. I’m almost 40. If I leave Carlos it may take me a year or two to find someone suitable to mate with, which could be too late. So I am thinking of staying with Carlos so I can have a baby. He’s not a bad guy – he bought me and boob job AND a Vitamix blender for my birthday. I think this is the best choice, really, but I just need to hear it from you to put my mind at ease.”
So of course you’re thinking run, Chastity, run! but you shuffle your cards anyway and this is what comes up:
From left to right: Ace of Cups, 10 of Pentacles, Queen of Pentacles. Morgan Greer Tarot
Please note: this is an extra challenging Tarot challenge because you probably want to tell Chastity to run like the wind, yet the cards seem to be quite positive. So….
How would you interpret these cards? What advice would you give to Chastity? I invite you to share your interpretation in the comments section below 🙂
Tip: look at the cards and ask what do these cards seem to be saying to Chastity?
Veronica is my evil twin, alter ego, and a real maverick of sorts. She spends her days swanning about her apartment, writing smut, eating cheesecake and god knows what else. On Friday’s she does a horrifically unhelpful reading for you to enjoy…..
The Housewive’s Tarot
Today’s message comes from The Hermit.
Spend this weekend soaking in the tub, ordering take out, eating chocolate and reading filthy romance novels.
Oh wait, I just remembered its Easter Weekend. F##K!
I guess your supposed to spend time with family, cook a boring dinner and humor everyone.
Well, no matter what you do this weekend, be sure to squeeze in a little me-time – if anything, it will keep you sane!
Veronica is my terrible alter ego to whom I give free reign for a few minutes on a Friday, so she can write this reading for you. Her advice is always bad, so be sure not to take it ;)…
The Fairytale Tarot by Karen Mahony
The Fool is here to say It’s okay to be an idiot if it means you get to have an adventure!
Being smart is overrated and always leads to boring evenings spent watching TV with safe, dull people.
Have you been wearing mostly beige, black and brown lately? Time to color it up! buy a crazy scarf in a bright color or wear some sky blue tights (even if your a guy).
Do something different this weekend – go on a mini adventure. Pack some smelly cheeses in a sac along with grapes, crackers and wine. Take it to the park along with a blank notebook and pen.
Then, plunk yourself down on a grassy knoll and pen some erotic fiction as you proceed to get drunk in public and gorge yourself on cheese.
Gosh, just writing this I am getting so excited for the weekend! I can’t f#$*ing wait!
If you are trying to make an important decision, don’t ask yourself if its the right decision, ask if it will lead to thrills and adventure.
Now is not the time to play it safe. Be reckless, be wild and enjoy it!
Veronica Noir, The Daily Tarot Girl’s evil counterpart, is here to kick some sense into you with her uncompassionate style of Tarot reading. She usually writes these half-drunk, so take her advice with a grain of salt…or a tablespoon!
Tarot of the Dream Enchantress
Today’s Tarot card is the Five of Cups, and boy oh boy is this mermaid PISSED!
This lady of the sea is knocking her cups this way and that shouting “well this is shit! This is shit! Don’t want this!”
Can you relate? I know I can!
Your life needs an overhaul. And guess what? It’s going to take more than the occasional yoga class or date night to vamp it up properly.
First of all, let me just say this: Of course your in a miserly state! People are dicks and life isn’t the cake walk that The Secret claimed it to be. I know, I know.
But you need to get a grip. Things aren’t so glum! The three cups at the bottom of the card represent three sneaky things you can do right now that will inject some orgasmicness into your veins…
No, not heroin. I was thinking salsa dancing lessons or something along those lines. But whatever you do, get out of your funk already. Because its totally boring.
The Hierophant shows you that you may be searching for a wise teacher. Someone who has all the answers and will tell you exactly what to do.
Avoid the temptation to seek widsom outside of yourself today. Yes, you can learn a lot from others, but don’t underestimate your own inner knowing and genius!
You may feel powerfully drawn to someone today – most likely a spiritual teacher or speaker. Listen to what they have to say and enjoy their story, but come back to yourself and integrate the knowledge with your own experience.
You are much wiser than you give yourself credit for!
*Just a reminder that my Angel Card teleclass is TOMORROW NIGHT! I am so excited for this live class 🙂 Click here for more info and to sign up.
The New Palladini TarotThings are in limbo right now for you, but don’t fret. The Hanged Man is here to remind you that enlightenment – and great ideas – come from giving up the struggle and choosing peace.
Avoid trying to change your situation. Instead, focus on changing your inner landscape – that of your feelings, thoughts and attitude.
You may think that things aren’t happening the way you had planned, but that just isn’t true!
Take a time-out from your usual monkey business and just wait for the aha! moments to come rolling in. It won’t be long now 🙂
